Day Three
Catrine was roused by an indifferent butler. He had come to escort her from Arick's chambers. As she exited his apartment, the King didn't bother to look up from his morning paper.
She should have felt relieved by his sudden indifference towards her. But, for as much as she had dreaded being in the presence of King Arick, she now felt equal dread in the idea of returning to Master Ryan.
'This is all that I am,' said the voice inside her mind.
The butler bid her to wait outside the door to Ryan's suite and she responded by dropping to her knees and lowering her gaze. King Arick hadn't returned her dress, so she knelt there naked and battered, shivering with both cold and nerves.
The knocking startled Ryan awake. He kicked over the still half-full glass of whiskey that rested on the floor beside him as he rushed towards the door. When he first opened it, he only noticed the butler and stood there momentarily confused. Then, he recognized the kneeling figure beside him.
He dismissed the butler with haste. He bent to take both of Catrine's hands before pulling her quickly into his room. He closed the door, locking it securely, before pressing his back against it as if trying to keep out the rest of the world. He was so relieved to see her. He breathed deeply, calming his adrenaline fueled mind, reassuring himself that she was back safely with him.
He advanced on her quickly and wrapped himself around her, hugging her close. He felt the now familiar feel of her hair against his cheek while her unique scent filled his nose. He was so happy to hold her that he didn't register at first that she had remained still in his arms.
"Catrine?" he spoke gently. He loosened his embrace, searching for her eyes, but she couldn't meet his. Her face was pressed against his shoulder, facing away from him. Her eyes shut tight.
"Catrine?" He whispered to her again, his voice filling with concern. He pressed his lips against her hair and muttered her name softly, again and again. His emotions practically shouting, but his lips barely making any sound.
A tear slipped down her cheek as he rocked her gently in his embrace.
This is all that I am.
She felt the remnants of Arick's brutal violation seeping down the inside of her thigh. It disgusted her. Shame overpowered her as she realized what they had reduced her to. What was left after so much savagery but the ghosts of her past and an endless, empty future?
This is all that I am.
His soft words, his warm embrace, his gentle touch. Ryan was everything she wanted and everything she could never have. She yearned for kindness, protection and love. She was crushed by the agony that it could never be hers.
This is all that I am.
There was nothing for her in his breathtaking embrace but pain; A pain worse than anything that she had experienced in her two years of servitude. A pain much deeper than anything her other masters had inflicted.
This is all that I am.
Tomorrow she would return to that warehouse, to those vultures, to await a new Master and his wicked plans.
How could she survive that, having felt with him what it was like to live again?
She shuddered violently and pulled herself away from his grasp. She needed to escape the comfort of his arms. She was coming apart and couldn't bare the idea of unraveling in front of him.
Not knowing how to escape him, she quickly asked, "Master, may I please take a shower?" But, she avoided his gaze entirely.
"Oh. Yes. Of course." he answered immediately, berating himself for not suggesting it. He released his grasp on her body and she scurried away from him quickly. He stood there, alarmed by her state, as he watched her flee from him into the bedroom.
She turned on the shower and stepped under its cascade. She had hoped it would sharpen her mind, but the effect was the opposite. Intense shivers traveled through her and she felt like her knees would suddenly give way. She pressed her hands against the cool tile walls as an intense wave of nausea overtook her. Stumbling once, she fell backwards and crumpled to the wet floor, sobbing openly into the spray.
—-
He had wanted to give her some privacy. She had clearly been distressed when she returned. But she had been in the bathroom for a long time. As the minutes ticked by, his mind pricked with alarm. He warred with himself, wanting to check on her but afraid of smothering her with his own worry.
He walked into the bedroom and heard the shower still on. He knocked and slowly opened the door, calling to her. When she didn't answer, he opened it fully looking towards the glass enclosure where he expected to see her standing.
She was practically hidden there. Slumped against the wall at the far corner. She seemed so small. As he neared her, he realized that she was shivering uncontrollably. The water had long since turned cold. He turned it off and knelt at her side. She looked like she had been crying, but she made no sound now.
He reached out to touch her, but stopped short. In the bright bathroom light, he suddenly noticed how badly she had been beaten.
"Shit." The word escaped his lips before he even realized he'd said it. He was stunned.
He cringed as his finger gingerly brushed the dark purple bruise on her temple and followed its trail to the cut on her lip. He was breathless as he brushed her hair to the side revealing deep bruises along her neck and over her shoulder. He took in the marks on her breasts, the bruising on her hip. Finally, he gasped in disbelief as he lifted her arms to his gaze, revealing the razor-like red gashes left by the cuffs.
He was sure there were more, but he had seen more than enough.
He jumped up and grabbed two large towels. He did his best to wrap her up in them, pulling her from the shower and carrying her into his bed. She hardly seemed to acknowledge his presence, her eyes looking at him, but not really seeing him there with her.
He used his actions rather than words to convey his remorse. He did his best to towel dry her hair and then brushed it out gently. He slipped a pair of clean panties over her legs. Then, on impulse, he grabbed his own t-shirt, a favorite from his alma matter, rather than her nightgown, and gently pulled it over her head. It comforted him somehow that he could wrap her up in a bit of himself, rather than placing her in some other thing that was a symbol of her servitude.
Resting her against the pillows, he pulled up the covers, tucking her in securely. He pressed his lips against her forehead, wanting to say so much but not knowing where to begin. When she didn't say anything more, he sighed and turned away. He walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him, leaving her to rest.
The emotions Ryan felt when Arick had taken her away began as fear. By the morning, that fear had morphed into anger. Seeing Catrine this morning, that anger had turned into deep sorrow. Yet, as he locked the door of the suite and strode down the corridor towards the Kings and his third meeting day, the sorrow had disappeared, turning instead into an iron-clad determination. He was no longer going to let them make up the rules.
——
He did little to acknowledge the Kings as he pulled back his chair and sat down to begin the morning session. He looked around the room and saw all the other girls tucked quietly into their places. Some looked a little tired, but none looked as battered as Catrine had when she returned to him in the early hours of the morning. For a moment, he thought Arick was going to challenge the fact that Catrine hadn't accompanied him to the meeting. Ryan threw him a threatening glance and the King held back.
Once Dutton opened the morning's session, Ryan feverishly made his final pitch for his proposal and his company. He knew that this was the moment that he was supposed to tie it all up and walk away with his shiny, lucrative contract. Although he had practiced this part extensively, as he threw himself into it, he knew that the whole emphasis of his pitch had changed.
This was no longer about power or resource development or energy policy. Perhaps it was never really about those things. Or, perhaps it was always about something more than just those things. He was certain that this passionate speech was somehow about him; his ability to sate the Kings desires, his ability to navigate their twisted labyrinth. It was an audition here in their inner circle.
And, while he couldn't exactly connect the dots, he knew that ultimately his make-or-break pitch in the room that morning was somehow linked to his ability to hold on to Catrine. He wasn't even sure that this made sense but he seized on it with a frenzy. It drove him as he carried himself across the room, talking avidly with the Kings about the future of their realm. It animated him as he illustrated again the possibilities and long-term gains from his plan.
At least it felt like something he could control.
When there were no more questions, he returned to his seat, satisfied with his presentation. The discussion had gone a long way to rebuild his own confidence. His mind had cleared considerably since the previous afternoon.
He was ready to play the next round of games with these Kings.
—-