Me Too

I thought I could have a real relationship with Shalini but circumstances conspired against us.

I was a small director and my work was respected but I never had the big successful movies of my contemporaries. This all changed when I met Raj Mehta. He was a financier that had started investing in Hollywood. We began talking at a Film Festival and I talked about not being taken seriously in Bollywood and no one would back my movies. We were just talking at the time as two outsiders at this European Film Festival. I did not know his financial background and all I knew was that he was involved in some Hollywood movie.

It was a few weeks later when my secretary put a call through from a Raj Mehta. I had totally forgotten about our meeting until he reminded me.

"How much will your new movie need to make it the way you really want?" He asked in a bold manner. I was slightly surprised and gave him a realistic figure. Within the next 2 days the money was in my account and I started on my first big budget movie.

I had a string of successful movies thanks to Raj so when I told him about hiring Shalini Roy and he said he wanted to be with her. I had to repay him and I repaid him by providing Shalini to him.

I did not rekindle our passion during filming there were so many times I wanted to go to her trailer or hotel room but I refused for Raj. The sexual tension seemed to bring another level of intensity from Shalini and it helped make the film what it was.

I had planned with Raj for him to meet Shalini at the screening. I had told him I was going to act inappropriately with Shalini and he could play the hero. I deliberately flirted with Kanika and she played along as she was a new actress and wanted a role in my next movie. She was a typical young star that was happy to sleep her way to the top.

The evening fell into plan and I heard from Raj that he planned on marrying Shalini. He approved the budget for my new movie and I had what I had most wanted. But I still hungered for a passionate relationship and I thought I had this with Shalini. There was a fight within her as she struggled with her urges but she was happy now and Raj was her prince. Raj deserved her more than me and I was happy to help my friend.

I had another movie to direct and I was going through the script. It was a revenge thriller tale that was centered on the mother/daughter relationship. I had promised the daughter role to Kanika after our recent affair. She was more of a plaything than anything serious. She knew the sex was a trade off for the role and it was purely transactional. I would still need to hold auditions to not make Kanika's selection so obvious. It was the mother role that I was going to struggle to fill. If Shalini was still acting she would have been ideal for the role but she was now pregnant with Raj's child after her short stint in Hollywood.

I needed a big name to sell the movie as Kanika was truly unknown apart from her Instagram following. I sent the script out to talent agents and tried to source the best talent.

I had great success with my last production with Shalini in the star role and it had elevated my position in Bollywood. I was in fact cheered as a feminist hero for giving Shalini a starring role with no leading male names. I found this to be a turn of events as I had previously earned a reputation as the Bollywood creep.

I received a call from Salim; he was a writer and producer that I had previously worked with.

"Salim, what brings this call?" I asked boisterously as it had been some time since we had spoken.

"I saw your script and wow. You really want to be the feminist hero of Bollywood or do you just like hot beauties in your movies?" Salim was a fellow pervert and he saw through my recent accolades as we both laughed.

"A good script is a good script and you know I prefer working with beautiful women." We both laughed together.

"You dirty old dog. You will never change. This is why I was calling. Sonia Kaur is my wife's friend. She has had some bad movies recently and she saw your script when she was over at our home. Anyway my wife has been pestering me to call you on her behalf as she is interested in the role." Salim was always doing his wife's bidding. I never thought Sonia would want to work with me. She was a leading actress in her day but her last 5 movies were spectacular flops. People were not watching her brand of actress any more, a family orientated housewife. We also had a falling out 3 months ago.

"Yaar, I know your wife is a tough woman but I cannot give her the role. Did she even read the script? So she knows it has kissing? She has never kissed on screen." He giggled on the other side as he explained, "She is bored of the same roles. She needs something new. She read the script. The whole of it. She loved it. Just give her an audition so I can tell my wife." I thought to myself I could sell this movie on it being Sonia's first kiss and I only regretted there was no suggestive sex scene in the movie.

"You can tell your wife to ask her to come this Friday for an audition. I make no promises." I said in a thoughtful manner. I wanted Salim to think this was a favor for him but I was devising other plans.

Sonia was a real beauty but she had forever played the innocent romantic love interest. Always wearing conservative clothes and never did intimate scenes. Her movies played to conservative audiences but cinema was changing and people wanted to see more daring action on their screens.

Let me tell you a little about my falling out with Sonia. The truth is that I never had any attention of working with her or any interest in her. I found her very conservative and boring. It was at a party of a friend of mine and various people from the movie industry were invited. Sonia was in attendance with her husband, Jasdeep Sandhu. He was an accountant to the stars and Sonia had shrewdly married him. He was a bore and very conservative in nature. I had a few more drinks than usual and I was boisterous in my drunken state. Sonia had become separated from her husband when she caught my eye. She was waiting for drinks at the bar and I went up behind her and groped her ass. She looked at me shocked but I gave her a knowing smile. The next I felt was a sharp right handed slap as she mouthed, "filthy bastard." As I came to my senses I looked at her only to see her walk away in a furious manner but my eyes were taken by her swaying ass.

A part of me was anxious about meeting her again after our last encounter but I liked her strong personality and the rejection made me want revenge.

I had not started auditions yet, we had no one in mind for the role and everyone that was pitched by talent agents so far had been rejected out of hand as we needed a star with presence. Sonia would give that weight to the movie. She was a big name in the industry but her last few movies were all flops and she was falling quickly. I wanted to test her willingness to change but I also found it surprising she wanted to work with me knowing how I behaved towards her.

Sonia was different and she would not be easily intimidated. She had worked with intimidating directors before but I was intrigued, why would she want to work with me? She knew the real me, the one that groped her at the party, the one that actresses complained about.

There was a slight tension between us as the maid brought her through to the lounge area. I got up to hug her, hoping to feel her curves but she stopped me and gave me a handshake.

It brought a wry smile to my lips as I thought that my grope at the party must still be on her mind.

"Is the audition taking place here?" She said in surprise as she expected it to be in the studio.

"It was a surprise to get your call. I did not send out the script to your agent. It is not your type of role. I do not want to waste your time." I said wanting her to feel she needed to earn this role.

"I have become pigeon holed into a certain type of actress. I want to change the public's perception of me. I saw your script at Padma's home. You sent it to Salim. I never come across these scripts usually and I wanted to be part of it." There was a real desire for the role in her eyes but I wanted to put her in her place first.

"Do you want to change your perception or is it because no one remembers the last time you had a hit movie?" She pursed her lips at my cutting comment but she brought on a fake smile, "In the past I have too readily accepted good money for poor scripts. I want to only make good movies from now on." She said in a composed tone. She had an elegant nature about her. She had amazing posture which happened to accentuate her ass and led me to groping her but she gave off a sense that she looked down on people. In a strange way this drew me more to her.

"Well this movie is going to be a hit. But I must tell you, in my opinion you are a little uptight for this role. You have never kissed on screen. The sexuality of this character is important but you have only played classy or traditional women. She is a traditional housewife in the beginning. Her daughter goes missing and her husband is inept when she needs him but she has pent up frustration and sexual need that takes over as she has a torrid affair with a private investigator that helps her find her daughter." She looked at me a little condescendingly, "You know I have read the script. I know all this. I can do this. Just let me audition."

There was a strong nature about her and it made me hot for her, "You have not read the final script. It will have a sex scene. Is that something you can do?" I had finally caught her off balance, "What do you mean sex scene?" It was the first time she was unsure of herself, "The sex scene has not been finalized yet. We are still working on it to ensure it will pass the censors. Movies need more than an item number to sell these days. Can you even fake an orgasm?"

Her eyes went wide with shock and she took a sharp intake of breath, "Yes. I am an actress after all." She had managed to compose herself but she was showing vulnerability and I wanted to keep pressing her buttons, "So can you show me. Your fake orgasm."

She had a shocked and almost angry expression on her face, "What do you mean? Here and now?"

I nodded to her wanting to keep my last words the request. Her hands conveyed her tension as she began to wrangle them and her feet switched from crossed to uncrossed, "You mean just sat here?"

She was sat opposite me on the sofa and I nodded again. The silence from me seemed to be adding more tension for her. She took a deep breath accepting what she had to do. She began to screw up her face and take deep breaths. She began to moan louder and louder as she faked an orgasm. It was turning me on and I could feel my erection press against my trousers.

"Your husband believes that?" She had an angry expression on her face as she probably expected me to be pleased with her efforts. I added, "You need to try again and be more convincing."

I passed her a pillow and she put it behind her. I shook my head, "No, my dear. You need to use it as a prop. Your attempt at faking an orgasm was so poor that you need a prop to help you. You need to place it under you and imagine it is a man. Ride it like a lover and I want to see you fake another orgasm. But this time make it believable."

She looked at me with contempt and anger and I liked that I had this power and control over her. Without a word she lifted her knees on the sofa and sat astride the pillow. She began to gently hump against the pillow in a riding motion. There was more of a buildup in her moans this time. She had her eyes closed and I wondered if she was in fact getting pleasure from humping the pillow.

Her breathing was becoming more intense and her moans more pronounced. I could not take my eyes off her and I just wanted to tear her dress off and watch her perform naked.

She kept riding but then did the same screwy face as she faked her orgasm. She had me going until that final moment. I wanted to see her face during a real orgasm.

She put her feet down and removed the pillow. She looked at me waiting for my approval but I wanted to keep her waiting, "It needs a lot of work." Her face dropped and she was visibly hurt by my criticism.

"We need to move on to see how you kiss. You are an excellent actress but you have never done these scenes before so I need to see how you perform this part." I tried to be a little gentler with her as I did not want the audition to become unbearable for her so early. I tried to mix encouragement and criticism. She looked at me tentatively, "How do I even show you?"

I looked at the pillow and motioned towards it with my head. She acknowledged my motioning and pointed to the pillow, "You mean kiss the pillow?"

I nodded as to say yes. She tentatively kissed the pillow and looked back at me. I shook my head in disappointment, "That is not how a person kisses. You are in a passionate embrace. I want to feel the passion."

She kissed the pillow again but kept glancing at me to see my reaction and I just kept shaking my head. The scene looked ridiculous as she tried to kiss a pillow. I then interrupted her, "Please stop. This is just terrible. Do you think it would be different if you were kissing an actor?"

I could see her insecurities playing up and she wanted to convince me she was right for the role, "It would make a big difference if I was kissing another man. It is impossible with a pillow."

She fell into my trap and I closed it up around her, "I like you for the role. You were a good actress but if you cannot do these scenes then I cannot give you the role. I think we need to practice you kissing another man."

I quickly moved across the room and took the seat next to her. She knew what this meant. "Do you want to try it again?" I asked as I invaded her personal space. She leaned back a little and she was feeling intimidated. She exhaled as she got ready for the next stage of the audition. She put her hand awkwardly on my chest and then on my shoulder. She was pushing me away while knowing she had to kiss me. I let her play this game with her conflicting feelings before she eventually leaned into kiss. It was tentative and gentle on the lips.

I held her from the back of the head and kissed her more passionately. I wanted her to feel my dominant position as we kissed. She was fighting herself during the kiss and she struggled to fully commit.

I broke us apart and said, "I am not feeling your passion. You are not lost in the moment as your character would be."

I could sense her bite her tongue as she said, "Ok. It is just strange doing it like this."

"It is just acting and you are a professional," she visibly swallowed as she leaned in again for a kiss. We kissed tenderly as our lips began to touch. She was stiff and still tense. I began to kiss her more sloppily to test her reaction and she pushed me off, "What are you doing?" She said in annoyance as she wiped her lips. I had to keep pushing her to get what I wanted, "I was showing passion. Something you are lacking in your kiss."

It seemed to ignite a fire in her and she leaned back in and kissed again. It did not have the tenderness of the kiss before, it was more passionate. I put my tongue in her mouth when she stopped me again and asked, "Why did you do that?"

I maintained my ground, "That is how you kiss normally. Why would it be any different on screen?"

She was tense and angry, "There is just no need for that."

"You have to be professional. You need to make me believe you feel that passion. You are a character. Your character is in love and wants to kiss deeply and passionately." I maintained my position and I knew by calling her unprofessional it was going to make her feel insecure.

She blew her hair out of her face petulantly in annoyance and then brushed it back, "Just watch yourself."

I gave her a stern look, "You need to stop watching and play your role. Let's try again instead of this stupid unprofessional talk."

I could see the grimace on her face. My words were really bothering her but she leaned in again. She was a little more cautious this time and placed her hand on my chest in an attempt of keeping me away as our bodies came closer. She was cautiously kissing me but I pulled her in by the back of her head and began to slobber her in a kiss. I began to kiss her with my tongue. She was initially startled by my aggression but my words about being professional appeared to stick and she began to kiss back with her tongue. I kept her locked into the kiss as our tongues were intertwined. She was squeezing her legs together as the kiss became more intense. It was igniting smoothening inside her even though at this stage it was nothing more than an itch. Her breathing was getting heavy and she wanted to break but I kept her locked in. She tried to push me away but I did not let her go. Eventually I broke off the kiss and she was panting for air. Her breathing was heavy and watching her in this state was turning me on.

"Was that better?" She asked through bated breath. The need for my approval was growing inside her and I wanted to keep her waiting for that elusive approval. "Your body needs to be more natural. Your hand is pushing me away while we are kissing. I do not understand your character. Would she not put her arm around the man she loves?" She looked at me with an annoyed expression but nodded to me as to acknowledge my instructions.

I adjusted the tent in my trousers as it as it was becoming uncomfortable. I motioned for her to come back in for the kiss and she followed my instructions. I liked that she was now taking cues from simple hand motions. She tried to relax a little more but she was still a little stiff as she leaned in to kiss. We kissed again and I immediately began using my tongue. She had little or no resistance this time as she reciprocated my actions and our tongues intertwined.

The kiss was becoming heavy but I put my hand behind her head and kept her locked into the kiss. She was squeezing her thighs together again. The kissing was having the desired effect and she was getting turned on. Our bodies were closer together and I used my other hand to grope her leg over her skirt. She tried to push my hand away but not breaking the kiss. She would push it away and I would move it back. Her resistance was getting weaker each time I did this and then I held my hand firm on her leg as I began to stroke it. She tried to push it away but I had a stronger hold now and would not allow her to move it.

She seemed to give up and simply kept her hand over mine as I stroked her leg. I noticed that she was naked under her dress and I tried to bunch the skirt up when she dug her nails into my hand stopping me. She then tried to push me away as she tried to break the kiss. I did not relent and kept her locked in the kiss. My hold on her skirt becoming tighter and pulling it up to give me a flash of her panties before eventually letting her go and breaking apart. She was a wearing a pair of black panties and I wanted to see so much more.

She thumped my chest a couple of times as we broke apart. "Why are you so angry?" I asked in an ignorant manner. "You know why. Who said you could touch my leg or my dress?" She asked in a rage.

"Why are you being so dramatic? We were in a passionate embrace. This is acting. Sometimes I think have you even acted before. You talk like an amateur. Do you even know what passion is? Or is your marriage so dull and avoid of intimacy that you do not know how people act in these situations?" I asked in an angry manner. There was a sense of power I felt in this situation and insulting her marriage was a way of damaging herself worth and self esteem. She had a fury in her eyes as she bit back, "Do not talk about my marriage. You are unprofessional. This is not acting."