Living with Jane

Can men and women be 'just friends'? I've argued yes they can, a million times, but I do wonder. It probably isn't a black and white statement that has a definitive answer. I'm sure there are men and women that are friends and nothing more; maybe Jane and I crossed a line by living together. I would like to think that timing just never worked for Jane and I but for whatever reason she has never considered me more than a friend, even going so far as to say I'm like the brother she never had. If that's not the kiss of death for a potential sexual relationship, I don't know what is.

Jane and I had been friends for years. We were both we dating other people when we met which might have solidified my 'friend' standing for life. We've always got along so well; she's the only girl I have ever met with the same bizarre sense of humor as me. As if being attracted to her personality isn't hard enough, she's gorgeous too. She has an amazingly sexy, fit body, with long tanned legs and perfect tits that I have imagined would fit perfectly in my hands. The real torture is she is always walking around the apartment in short shorts and tank tops. Every time I look at her all I can think of is how desperately I want to fuck her.

My plan started about a month ago when we were hanging around the apartment watching episode after episode of our new favorite show and drinking wine, and then beer, and then shots of coconut rum. Jane ended up passing out on the couch. I tried to wake her up to go to bed but she was completely out. I could have left her there but I wanted to pick her up and carry her off to bed. As I picked her up she didn't even make a noise; she just lay in my arms like a rag doll. I was nearly a perfect gentleman as I brought her to her room. Admittedly my hand was just under her breasts and I may have let my hand enjoy the feel of her silky soft legs as I let her slowly spill from my arms on to her bed., but that was it.

I went to my room and thought about her lying there all alone; how her tit felt in my hand as I carried her; how inviting her pouty pink lips looked as she let out her inebriated sounds of deep sleep; how her legs splayed open when I put her in her bed. Even though I was drunk, my cock was rock hard. It certainly wasn't the first time I had jerked off thinking about fucking her, but for some reason my fantasy started to become a scheme to replay the events of tonight but where I would remain sober and where I would actually get my chance to make my fantasy come true. I came harder than I had in years. I actually made a loud groan as I climaxed, which I had never really done while on my own. That was the last thing I remembered about that night. I was either too drunk or too satisfied to clean up my mess; I just passed out with my cock hanging out and slept in that pose until morning.

Ever since that night, I found myself plotting our next drunken night. I knew I was in trouble when I found myself buying a the tequila Jane didn't like with the sole purpose of dumping it down the drain and filling it with weak tea so I could appear to match her drink for drink the next time we brought out the liquor; I even found myself practicing my drunk slur. I rehearsed excuses I would say in case she woke up in the middle of my violation. I was horrified that I was actually planning this, but yet every night I would jerk myself off to the thought of it.

There were a few nights where we drank a bottle of wine, but Jane wasn't interested in any more than that. I was slightly relieved, but mostly sexually frustrated. I wanted her so badly that I could seem to think of nothing else. I argued to myself that what I was planning was actually a good thing, I would get fucking her out of my system and we could go on being friends. It was an absurd lie, but it is amazing how I easily I was justifying my scheme.

The night finally came where the bottle of wine ended and Jane wanted more. She was actually upset about breaking up with her recent boyfriend. The relationship was nothing too serious, but perhaps out of habit, Jane wanted to purge the relationship with getting shit-faced. I did drink the wine, but when she wasn't looking I would pour mine into her glass. I had maybe had one glass to her four. She brought out the rum and I made up a lie about not being able to handle the taste of rum after last time as I brought out the fake tequila for myself. It felt like an eternity before she finally ended up passing out on the couch. My cock instantly got rock hard. I poked her ...nothing. I caressed her thigh a little and held my breath...nothing.

I scooped her up in my arms like I had done month before, but this time with a clear head and a less than admirable goal. I let my hand fully cup her tit as I brought her to her bed. I laid her down and lay on the bed next to her. I brushed her long hair to the side and for a moment just watched her breasts rise and fall as she breathed heavily. I moved closer to her, letting my clothed erection rub against her leg. My balls ached. I wanted to cum so badly but since I knew this was my one chance, and in my justification I promised myself it would just be once, I wanted to make the moment last.

I turned her face towards me and lightly kissed her lips. It felt strange kissing someone and not feel her lips kiss back but it excited me. My cock grew harder as I penetrated her mouth with my tongue. In the back of my mind I rehearsed what I would do if she woke up. The biggest obstacle would be to not look guilty. My hand groped her tits as I kissed her. As I felt them I decided I had to see how perfect they were. I slowly lifted her white tank top to expose her bright pink bra. I should have been staring at her eyes to make sure she wasn't waking up but I couldn't take my eyes off the sight of her breasts. I managed to slide off her tank top. I reached around her and unclasped her bra and slid it off to reveal her perfect tits. My cock grew uncomfortably in my pants. I quickly reach down and undo the button and zipper of my jeans and pull the waist of my underwear under my cock. I gave my cock a few quick strokes for a little relief, and then I rubbed the head on the smoothness of her creamy thigh.

My mouth begins to yearn to taste her again. I slowly brought my tongue down to her breast and licked her nipple. I watched it become erect at my touch. I continued to tease her nipples carefully with my tongue and fingers. My licks progressively became stronger and more aggressive until I found myself hungrily sucking at them. I felt pre cum seep from my cock. I carefully slid my hand under her shorts, and then under her panties. I worked my fingers into her moist pussy. I watched her face to make sure my movements were not causing her to stir. I felt her slippery warmth as I fondled her clit. I hoped she was somehow dreaming that I was fucking her. Again I found myself rationalizing that what I was doing was okay as long as she just ended up thinking it was a vivid sexy dream. I once had a girlfriend who woke me up with a blow job. That state of half dreaming as I woke up to find out it was real was amazing. I justified that I was bringing her the same excitement.

After a few moments of rubbing her clit she let out a snort and slightly repositioned herself. My heart stopped. I was sure I had woken her. I remained motionless as I waited for her breathing to return the comforting sound of deep drunken sleep. I slowly removed my hands from her pussy and smelled my fingers. Fuck...her pussy smelled so good. My cock ached again. I rubbed my slippery fingers over the head of my cock; I wish this was enough to satisfy me, but I knew I needed more.

I slowly slipped off her shorts to reveal a pair of wispy white panties. I stared for a moment so I could burn the image in my mind. She had a tiny strip of neatly trimmed pubic hair. I let my fingers trace around her panties. I brought my face down between her legs and took in the scent of her. I felt at war with my cock; I wanted to take my time and savor every minute but my cock ached to feel her pussy. I slipped her panties down over her shapely ass and then down those long sexy legs. I let her legs splay open for me. I had to taste her. I teased her pussy lightly with my tongue. I work my way to her clit and sucked it gently. I could feel it swell in my mouth. I rubbed my cock as I continued to tease and suck her clit. She shifted again, but this time I was too worked up to stop, if anything my tongue became more aggressive. I reached up and teased her nipple with my fingers. My cock couldn't take it anymore. I positioned myself between her legs. I rubbed my cock against her slippery slit and slowly thrust my cock into her. I had the urge to cum right then. I gained control and began slowly fucking her.

I couldn't believe what I was doing. Thoughts of disgust with myself were in the background but they were drowned out by the feelings of pleasure and fear. My thrusts became deeper as I gave her all of my cock. I watched her face for any sign of waking and noticed nothing. I began fucking her hard. I sucked on her tits as I fucked her deeply. I felt like I was in a dream. This moment was too close to perfection to be real. I kissed her soft lips and decided I needed to feel them on my cock. I pulled out of her pussy and brought my cock to her lips. I wiped her pussy juices all over her lips with my cock. Her lips looked so inviting coated in her own wetness, I reached in her mouth and opened her mouth a little more with my thumb. I slid my cock past her soft wet lips and slowly fucked her mouth. My cock had only been sucked by willing participants before, so it was odd to not feel her lips wrap around it. I was disturbed by how aroused I was to fuck her disconnected face.

I felt close to coming and removed my cock. I bent down and kissed her pussy cum off her lips. My cock needed to be inside her warm slippery pussy once more before allowing myself to cum. I buried my face between her legs again and licked her hungrily. I wanted to remember the taste of her every time I jerked off to the thought of this night. I allowed myself to slip my cock into her pussy one last time. I fucked her gently and then quickly and then gently again. I wanted to fuck her forever but I was ready to explode. I slipped my cock out of her pussy and stood on the floor with my cock aimed above her chest. I rubbed myself a few times and carefully aimed the deluge of cum all over her tits and stomach. Splashes of my white hot mess landed artfully on her nipples and were beginning to trickle down to her chest. I rubbed my cum all over her tits; they looked amazing covered in my mess. I stared at her for a long while to savor the moment. I slid her bra back on her and reached around to do up the clasp. I carefully lifted her head up to replace her tank top. I went to her underwear drawer and looked for a similar pair of panties. I found a reasonable stand in pair and slid them up her long silky legs. I lifted her ass a little as I slid them all the way up.

I stood back to survey the scene. I had the mind of a criminal. I made sure everything looked like she had fallen into bed drunk. I momentary thought about getting a damp cloth to clean my cum off her tits, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to leave that with her. I was sure she wouldn't notice but it added to my excitement that she might. I took the pair of panties she had been wearing and put them in my pocket. I couldn't bear the thought of not taking some part of her with me.

No one has to tell me what a disgusting human being I am. Who does something like that to their best friend? Not surprisingly my plan didn't work. I wasn't able to just fuck her the once and get over it as I had tried convincing myself of. Every day since has been an even greater torture than before. Now I know how she feels, how she smells, how she tastes and I can't have it. The worst part is not being able to get over what I did and I constantly fight the urge to do it again.