I'm staring at the brass doorknob. An exhilarating flush surges through my body. Never in my life have I felt so powerful, so consumed by my own virility.
Long, wispy clouds, stained a deep red, float just above the glowing western horizon. Even though the evening is still early, all the windows in the house are already dark. Hiding in the shadows of her front porch, I push my excitement to the back of my brain, quieting the internal noise so I can gather my thoughts and plan my next moves. A frisson races up my spine. Although I'm sure it wouldn't matter, my eyes scan the neighboring houses for anyone who might have noticed me. I pull the note out of my pocket again and check the address in the faint glow from the streetlight. A mistake right now could be tragic.
I'm not the sort of guy who would rape a woman, but she wants it. I know she does.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was the note from my son's fourth grade teacher that started it all.
Miss Caldwell was waiting at the front door of the school when I arrived at six thirty, as she had requested. That was terribly late for a teacher to be working, I thought. She was still young and quite attractive. I guessed that she was one of those dedicated teachers who put in the extra time to help her students succeed, often at the expense of her own social life.
This wasn't the first time we'd met, of course. There had been the obligatory orientation before the first day of school, then we'd had a few polite conversations at PTA meetings. She had never called me in for a private conference, however. Was my son in trouble?
After a simple, terse greeting, "Mr. Pierce," and a curt handshake, Miss Caldwell pulled the door shut and turned away without another word. She led me down the familiar hallways of my youth. The sharp click of her low heels reverberated against dimly lit, tiled corridors. Her knee-length skirt swished with each swing of her prim, feminine backside, which kept drawing my decadent eyes despite my efforts to control the ignoble urges.
I followed her into my old fourth-grade room, and fondly recalled Miss Whitaker, another of those special teachers. I hadn't made it easy on her, cutting up in class and concocting fantastic stories about why I didn't have my homework. In those days, corporal punishment was the norm, and her heavy-duty ruler left its signature on my backside at least once a week. Looking back, I think I actually enjoyed the special attention I got from her. She was probably my first real crush.
My son's teacher sat at her desk, and began entering scores into her gradebook. I waited, standing beside her desk. After several minutes had gone by and she was still ignoring me, I ventured tentatively, "Uh, Miss Caldwell?"
She looked up with an annoyed, "Yes, Mr. Pierce?"
"Um, did you want to see me about something?"
With a heavy, irritated sigh, she closed her gradebook. "Michael's performance has been going downhill the last few months —"
"Yes," I interjected. "His mother and I separated —"
"Please don't interrupt me, Mr. Pierce," she snapped with a stern look. "As I was saying, Michael is not meeting the school system's standards, and he is becoming increasingly disruptive."
I chuckled, recalling my own behavior when I was nine.
Eyeing me with a deep suspicion, she said, "I'm concerned that you find your son's failure so humorous, Mr. Pierce."
"I'm not laughing at him, Miss Caldwell —"
"Then I presume you are laughing at me?" she asked, growing even more leery.
"No! No, I apologize, Miss Caldwell. I just remember the way I acted at that age."
"Yes, well, I can see how well that turned out for you."
My jaw tightened at her snarky comment, but I held my tongue. As pleasing as she was to the eye, her personality was as cold and bitter as my wife's. I could understand why my son would have a hard time in her class.
Miss Caldwell opened her grade book. "If you would like to look here," she offered, "you can see the steady decline in his work."
I stood next to her, leaning on the desk, with one hand resting on the back of her chair. She pointed out the grades for the the first few months of the year, then the lower test scores and missing homework beginning around the time his mother left. My attention gradually drifted downward, admiring the pale pink curves of her impressive breasts, and the deep shadow between them. I didn't recall any of my elementary teachers dressing in such revealing clothing. I wondered what sort of bra she wore that looked like it wasn't even there.
Abruptly, she shifted her chair to the side, and my hand accidentally fell off the back of the seat and onto her shoulder. I jerked it away immediately, but she scolded, "Please don't touch me, Mr. Pierce."
"I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed by my lecherous thoughts. "I didn't mean to —"
"That sort of familiarity is inappropriate," she interrupted, still looking down at her grade book. "Everyone else in the building has gone home, and I'd hate to think that you would take advantage of this situation."
And then I saw it: a sideward glance, barely a flicker of her eyes lasting only a fraction of a second. What was that? Fear? Not exactly, I thought. It almost looked...flirtatious. It had happened so fast, I couldn't really say. Maybe it was just my imagination.
"No, ma'am," I insisted, declaring my innocence. "I would never think of causing any trouble for you."
"Yes. I didn't think so," she said under her breath. She told me, "Michael's behavior is becoming more aggressive, especially toward the girls in the class."
"What is he doing?" I asked.
"He shoves them occasionally, and I've caught him hitting them."
"He's hitting girls?" I exclaimed.
She quickly corrected herself. "He's not hurting them. No punching in the face or the stomach, or any place serious."
Curious, I asked, "Where is he hitting them?"
"On their behinds."
"Oh." I said, stifling another laugh. "I'll talk to him, and explain —"
Again she interrupted, though with a softer voice. "Every teacher meets with each student once a month, partially to build verbal skills. We start off with a few specific questions to help us understand the child's home life, such as 'what did you have for dinner last night', and 'who usually helps you with your homework'."
"I check on him frequently, to see if he needs help."
"Yes, that's what he said. It's easy to see that he loves you, and he appreciates your attention, Mr. Pierce."
I felt myself puff up a little at her compliment.
She went on, "Sometimes, if they're inclined, we just let the children talk. At our discussion last week, he wanted to talk about you and your wife."
"W-what did he say?" I asked nervously.
"Like all children caught between their parents, he was worried that the breakup was his fault. He said he had asked his mother why she was leaving."
"Oh, jeez," I groaned.
"She assured him that it wasn't his fault. When he asked if you had hurt her, he said that she laughed and told him, 'No, your father didn't hurt me. That's why I have to leave. Your father is too nice'."
Fucking bitch! I could feel my face growing red hot. She runs off with some other guy and blames me for being 'too fucking nice'?
Miss Caldwell said, "I'm not a psychologist, Mr. Pierce, but I have to wonder if Michael's aggression toward girls might originate as some desire to be a man whose wife wouldn't leave him because he was too nice."
What the fuck? What business was it of hers? The bile was building in my stomach.
She noted, "I gather from some of Michael's comments that his mother is not a particularly warm person."
"She can be a little chilly sometimes," I answered.
Just like you, Miss Caldwell
, I thought to myself.
She opened another binder. "If you will look here, these are some of the other things Michael said at our monthly meetings. He told me that you are home every night with him, and you give him lots of hugs..."
I stood over her again, leaning on her desk and trying to pay attention as she described my son's description of our home life. The floral scent of her hair and her pretty face with those sky-blue eyes and plump, pink lips kept distracting me. My eyes were especially drawn to the sight of those gorgeous boobs jutting out from her chest. I noticed thicker peaks poking at her cardigan than those I'd seen before. Was she really wearing a bra? I began to fantasize that the large buttons of her sweater were popping off, one by one.
She was telling me something - what, I don't know - when she moved her arm to the side, brushing over the back of my hand.
"Mr. Pierce," she snapped. "I asked you before. Please don't touch me." Then I saw that brief, sideways flash of her eyes, just like she did earlier.
What the hell was going on? I didn't touch her - she touched me! And what was she saying with that teasing glance?
So what would she do if I really...?
Still standing over her, I laid my hand gently on her back, just below the curls of her shoulder-length blonde hair.
"Mr. Pierce," she said. "I told you before, that sort of touching is not appropriate." But she kept looking down at her book. She didn't move away or try to shake my hand off.