Dear readers, With this chapter I continue to explore a woman's struggle and acceptance of submission and loss of identity. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. Constructive comments would be helpful as I'm in some unfamiliar territory in the Noncon/reluctance category.
If you are new to the story please read Laura's Choice chapter one for the context.
*******
I am a twenty four year old woman who has just promised her full submission to a man whom she neither loves nor who does not love her. I have always considered myself independent and strong willed yet I am about to accept my subservience to this man. What he demands is simple: complete submission to his every command, to show him respect at all times and full submission sexually. While simple to say, this decision will affect my life in ways I could not fully anticipate. Before this decision, my goal in life was to escape from him. Now I am giving him everything. In reality, I am acknowledging that I am his slave.
There is only one question remaining that I can't suppress. Is this forever? I don't know that I can accept forever. For now I will bury the question and the answer.
He already had my body, in every way he wanted. Now I was giving him my free will. The reward for me is the potential for a life beyond the confines of the few rooms of his house that I am allowed to move in. In my rationalizing I knew that even if I escaped again, as I had for three years, I could never shake the fear that he would find me. Submission, complete and unreserved, was the path I have chosen now to follow.
Xavier walked back into his room, now ready to leave for his workday, or work week, I never really knew for sure how long he would be away. I was still in his bed which was a novelty for me. I had given him everything I had in me sexually the night before and as a sort of reward, I assume, he had let me stay in his bed. I had also told him I was ready to give everything to him, with the implicit promise that my attempts to escape would end. He looked hard at me before speaking.
"Laura I want to talk to you about what you said this morning. You are already my possession and you have no freedom to choose however if you convince me you now accept what you are then I can grant you some of the things you want."
"Xavier, I would welcome the chance to speak of this."
"Okay, We will pick this up tonight. Be good today. You can go outside if you wish. Don't leave the yard and put on sunscreen if it remains sunny. I will let Mrs. Lawrence know that you are allowed to go outside today."
"Thank you Sir. Enjoy your day." I reached up and put my arms around him and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled at my unusual and spontaneous display of affection. I was more than ever determined to show him how good I could be. Impulsively, I looked him seductively in the eyes and asked, "Would Sir like me to suck his cock before he goes to work?"
His smile broadened but he shook his head. "No time now my pet. See you tonight." With that Xavier turned and left.
Being allowed outside was a treat and reserved for me when my best behavior warranted a reward. I also sensed that he believed that I meant what I had said about complete submission. And in truth I did want to give him everything, not because I had found a place in my heart for him - that would never happen - but because I wanted my life to improve and this path was the only one that appeared to lead anywhere for I knew that if I ever did escape, the fear of being caught by him would sit on my shoulders like a weight I could never rid myself of. That was how I lived for three years, constantly in fear of him finding me, until my recapture. I couldn't contemplate living like that again.
Mrs Lawrence was genuinely pleased that we could sit outside in the cool mountain air for our morning coffee. Her experimenting with different beans was producing delightful results.
Her role and relationship with Xavier was a mystery to me when I first arrived at Tamarak Ranch, shortly after Xavier purchased me from the traffickers. While she had been sensitive and sympathetic in light of my terror, anger and hatred of him, she was clearly completely loyal to Xavier. Even though she was unsettled by my plight she just accepted that her employer had just purchased a girl for sexual purposes. Events in her past that she alluded to but wouldn't discuss in detail, events where Xavier had clearly helped her or even rescued her, were apparently the basis for her loyalty to him. I think she may have even loved him at some level.
She winced at the word slave when I screamed it at her in an early moment of rage, but she just quietly said yes, that was what I was and that was how things were around the compound. Other associates of Xavier's in the Organization who lived at the Ranch owned women as well. Apparently the fact that slavery was alive and well in this corner of the western mountains was no big deal to the residents and help who lived at Tamarak Ranch. I gathered that rumours ran through the community as to what went on in the compound, with women living there who were rarely seen off the property, but no one seemed to want to do anything about it, including the local Sherriff's office. They had raided the Ranch shortly after my recapture and taken Xavier and me in for questioning, but nothing seemed to stick to Xavier or the other men. Yes, they told the cops that the women were free to leave which was laughable. Maybe we could walk out with the police watching but I knew and I'm sure the other women know what would happen if we did. I shuddered at the thought as I'm sure was the case with every other woman held at the Ranch.
The day passed pleasantly. I took a book out and sat in the shade of a large pine tree and enjoyed the beautiful view over to the higher peaks. I was a captive but my cage was set in a beautiful tableau. Often I would put the book aside and wonder just what Xavier would say in the evening.
He arrived home early (I no longer choked on the word home as I did in the beginning and even less so now that I was prepared to admit it was my one and only home). Dinner was quiet as I had been taught to not speak unless asked a question or invited to join the conversation. Almost the hardest thing for me to accept at the beginning, almost even more than the rape of my body, was the requirement to kneel beside him at the table. Mrs Lawrence would often join him at meals and they would chit chat about small things, mainly about the house, while I knelt beside him and ate what he fed me. I firmly believed that he did this so I would never forget that I was his slave and not a real human equal. The added bonus to him was that my body was the way he wanted it, almost thin to the point of waifishness. He liked me very slender and he enjoyed the fact that my breasts were still very prominent on my rib cage despite the limited calories I consumed. He like his sex toy to have the hint of rib showing but still have prominent breasts.
