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Copyright Oggbashan August 2006
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
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On Tuesday and Friday evenings I call in at our local convenience store on the way back home from work. On Tuesdays I have no problem because the shop stays open much later than my visit. On Fridays it is touch and go whether I get to the shop before it closes because I have deadlines to meet.
I know that I annoy the shop assistants on duty on Friday evenings. The shop's owner always leaves well before six o'clock those nights. The three women have to close the store, leaving it ready to open early on Saturday, when three more women have to open it and run it until the owner returns about seven o'clock Saturday evening.
The Friday night shop assistants are sensible and mature women but they can be tired and irritated by the time I walk into their shop. I can feel their hostility as I select my items and pay. As soon as I leave, and often before I leave, the closed sign is displayed and the door is locked. One of them unlocks the front door for me when I have finished. Once the blind on the shop door is down, no one can see in from outside.
That Friday evening I just made it in time. The brunette, Helen, was just about to turn the sign to closed. She scowled at me as she stood aside to let me enter. She shut and locked the door behind me.
Unusually, I was carrying my briefcase. The documents inside were too important to risk leaving in my car even for a few minutes. I picked up a hand basket and walked quickly round the store. My briefcase was an encumbrance. I was about to put it down as I turned the end of an aisle. My briefcase caught on a gondola stacked with small chocolate items and sent everything flying across the floor.
"That does it!" exclaimed Helen. "Marion, drop the blind. Mr Jones, we have had enough of you. Please pick everything up and put it as it was. Give me the basket and your briefcase... And you had better take your jacket off."
Helen was giving me orders. I ought to have resented her tone but I knew that I was an irritation to them every Friday. I meekly handed her my basket and briefcase. She passed them to the third assistant, Elaine, who took them to the till and started totalling my purchases. Helen stood there with her hand out, waiting for my jacket. I shrugged it off and passed it to her. She took it to the till and returned to stand over me as I lifted the gondola into place and started retrieving the scattered chocolate.
It took me about ten minutes to sort and stack the chocolate. The gondola had dented one Cadbury's Crème Egg. I handed it to Helen who said:
"I'll add that to your bill."
I nodded. We walked to the till. Elaine had totalled and bagged my purchases. She added the Crème Egg to the total.
"And these..." Helen said, handing a packet of stockings to Elaine.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I laddered a stocking on that gondola."
"You didn't!" I retorted.
"Yes, I did," Helen replied, "but earlier today. I think you should pay for them. What's the total, Elaine?"
"Seventeen pounds thirty."
Helen held out her hand for the money.
"It's in my jacket," I said.
"Then you can't pay for them?"
"Not without my wallet – in my jacket."
"And you haven't got your jacket, have you?"
"Yes I have. I gave it to you."
"And if we three say you didn't, what could you do?"
"You wouldn't?"
"Wouldn't we?" Elaine said. "And I think a briefcase has gone missing too."
"This is a joke, isn't it?" I pleaded.
"Yes and No," said Helen. "You have been annoying us for months by arriving just as we shut and delaying us. We decided that we would pay you back and get you to understand what your lack of courtesy means. Tonight was the last straw. You will do what we say and you might get your jacket and briefcase back. If not..."
"If not..." I prompted.
"For a start we could claim you were shoplifting and without means to pay. Or we could jump on you, tie you up, call the Police and claim that you tried to rape us. During the struggle your DNA would be on all our clothes and once we had you tied we might arrange for your DNA to be on our intimate items."
"OK, Helen," I sighed. "You win. What do you want from me?"
"For a start we will call you Peter. That is your name, isn't it?"