This story is arguably closer to exhibitionism than non-consent. However, it does contain some female reluctance, as well as male behavior that is pushy / handsy. It is sheer fantasy in all respects, and is intended for the purposes of erotic entertainment only. In real life, it is crucial that we always treat the people around us with respect. I love to receive positive feedback and constructive suggestions. I hope you enjoy it.
Max slumped on the couch--jet-black curls spilling down over dark eyes that refused to meet mine.
I was boiling. "Do you have any idea what this is like? To have the principal call and say you'd been busted? With drugs? How can you do this to me?!"
His voice was low and sarcastic. "You know not everything's about you, right?"
"Don't talk back to me. You're lucky he didn't expel you--or turn you to the authorities for Christ's sake!"
"Mom--it was one freakin' joint. The cops could care less. Yes, it was stupid. I won't do it again. But it's only a week suspension. It's not
that
big a deal."
"Please spare me your 'no big deal' crap! I didn't come to this country, slave for you every day, just for you to throw it away. You have to keep your nose clean and walk the straight line if you want to make it anywhere. Now give me your phone." I held out my hand.
He rolled his eyes to cover his embarrassment. "This isn't Russia, mom... Look, I'm sorry... I didn't-"
"Give me your phone. I swear to God, if you don't give it to me right now, I'll cancel your number."
As I said it, I knew it was a weak threat. Pathetic, even. Max had an after-school job at the KFC. I made him put most of each paycheck away for college, but he was perfectly capable of buying his own phone plan if push came to shove.
The truth of it was that, like all parents of teenagers, I was losing him. Day by day, bit by bit, our roles were reversing; and I could see the time coming when I needed him more than he needed me (though I will never admit it out loud). I told myself that it was the natural order of things... but so what? It still hurt. Still made me feel out of control.
Max was only halfway through his senior year, though, and not quite ready to cut the apron strings yet. The impasse dragged on for an uncomfortable 10 seconds or so, and then he swore under his breath. "Goddamn it, ma, you just don't..." Clamping his jaw shut, he slapped the iPhone into my palm.
"You can have it back in a month. And don't think I won't tell your father about this. We'll see what other punishments there are."
Still fuming, he stalked off to his bedroom and slammed the door.
I plopped down into the chair at my desk, heaving a helpless sigh. This American son of mine thought he could do whatever he wanted. That it would all just be handed to him. He didn't seem to have any common sense. Any self-control. Hell, I knew I had
never
been that young and stupid!
And then, unexpectedly, a jolt of self-awareness punctured my stormy mood, and I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.
Bozhe moi
--I'd become my parents!
I sat there a while longer, lost in my thoughts. At length, stirred by a sudden impulse, I turned on my PC. It took only a couple of x-rated web searches to find the video-clip I was looking for...
♫
Ba-ya-ya, ba-da ba...
♫
Music spilled from the speakers as the video started to play. Cheesy, crooning notes that battled to be heard above the clink of beer mugs, and the hum of rowdy drinkers. Fuck me, "Kiss From a Rose!" I hadn't thought of that song in years. Now, just the first few chords swept me back--back to another life. How had I ever forgotten?
The video-player showed a couple of pretty boys, capering theatrically atop a sprawling bar-counter. They were big, muscular, shirtless--smugly confident in their youth and desirability. One look at their swagger and you felt you knew their personality, through and through.
I chuckled. Hell, both of them were probably paunchy and balding now. Working days at some factory, and wallowing in cheap vodka every evening. But that was real life. On the internet, all that energy they displayed, that virility--it would be preserved forever, like bugs caught in amber.
As the music continued to swell, they strode from one corner of the bar to the other, scanning out over the sea of people, lifting their hands to exhort the crowd. A ragged chorus of inebriated femininity rose in response.
Soon they spotted their prey: a fetching blonde in the front row, laughing, showing her teeth, slightly tipsy. As they approached and beckoned her to join them, she made a show of waving them off, and tried to melt back into the throng--but escape was blocked by the man beside her. Gripping her by the shoulders, he shouted encouragement to the boys on stage. Her face grew pinker and pinker, but she made no effort to break free, and in a trice she was hoisted up onto the bar.
I wrinkled my nose, trying to remember what it had been like to
be
her. Way back in those days when I'd dyed my hair yellow. It was hazy... I hadn't realized I'd worn so much makeup then--trying too hard, like we'd all done in the 90's, I suppose. But nevermind the overdone eye-shadow and lipstick: I'd been a stunner. Not just pretty, but a woman with... mmm,
something
, you know?
In her clothes--my clothes--I recognized the uniform of a Moscow party girl. Pale-pink blouse with flared, feminine cuffs; black polyester pants; calf-high boots. We'd had heaps of style, but not so much money, and practically nothing worth spending it on anyway. So, the key wasn't so much what you wore, as how you wore it. (Oh, and we had absolutely no use for skirts. That icy breeze was liable to freeze your pussy off on the way home!)
The bar was cavernous and squalid; but in 1996 it was the hottest ticket in Moscow. It had a funny name... yeah, "Hungry Duck." It's no secret why we liked going there. We were simply sick of everything--sick of old gray communists; sick of food lines; sick of scolding babushkas. All we wanted was to have fun. And if there's one thing the Duck was, it was fun. On Ladies' Night the beer was so fucking cheap, and the music was so loud, and the strippers were so angular and alluring, that it was... oh, it was just stupid, and insane, and I lived for it.
It took a moment to place the hatchet-faced guy I'd been standing with in the crowd, the one who'd volunteered me to dance on the bar ... hm, Gusev, that was it. He'd been a fellow on the make, a comer, into black-market everything. Later on, after I left, he got shot by some gang-bangers. At least, that's what I heard. But back when I was sleeping with him, Gusev was swimming in money, and I always made sure to dip my ladle.
♫
... love remained a drug ...
♫
The girl on the video was slow-dancing with that pair of half-dressed studs now. Sandwiched in-between them, in fact--her arms draped around the neck of the one in front, while the other one pressed up against her backside.
The hands-down favorite performer at the Duck was a Nigerian colossus named Dylan; but he wasn't in the lineup that particular evening. I didn't care--the boy swaying before me was billed as Dmitri, and I liked him too. He cultivated an edgy look: strong jawed, with long, choppy locks, and glossy, skin-tight leather pants. But the thing that made him special was the depth and feeling in his eyes. Some of the strippers genuinely did seem cold, but with Dmitri you knew it only ran skin deep. He connected with the girls. He was there. He saw you.
So... how had it been to dance with them? Or more specifically--with him? Mmh, the hairs pricked at the back of my neck to recall it.
The fact of the matter is, it had been exhilarating. You know, a lot of crazy women did a lot of crazy things at the Duck. They wanted the notoriety, or just enjoyed letting themselves go. They'd pop out their tits for no reason at all, and sometimes take it further. But that was other girls, not me. I'd never done anything like that in my life. So that night--to be the very center of attention; to feel the energy exuding from that drunken crush of humanity; to brush my fingers over the taut, sweaty adonis standing before me? And then, in the back of my mind, to have a pretty good idea of what was going to happen next...? It sent electric shivers down my spine.
I mean, sure--watching it now in my den in New York, hunched over my computer in the gathering dusk, of course I recognized that the whole scene had been ridiculous. Yet, in the video, I saw my expression back then had been dead-serious. And I discovered I
liked
this younger me, with her oval face and wide, sensuous eyes and solemn-furrowed brow. She gyrated with a slow, supple grace; and seemed to lend the song a gravity it had scarcely earned.
As the clip continued playing, the man crowding up against my back reached to unbutton my blouse. His fingers were insistent, and I saw that my younger-self had done nothing at all to resist him. Surrendering one's top was basically the price of entry to this game--I'd known it would happen as soon as Gusev handed me over to them. I guess it just seemed like a lark.
After no more than a few seconds, my shirt gaped open. Then the guy in front, Dmitri, took over--sliding the satiny fabric from my shoulders and arms with a theatrical flourish, so that the garment fluttered to the floor.