Eri

If bad luck was a locket worn around someone's neck then Keri had worn it most of her life. She was such an unlucky girl! A little messed up and too gentle for her good! It almost felt like life couldn't help but be mean to her. Or perhaps she was letting a lot fly by and she got harmed in the process.

When she was a teenager and girls her age noticed boys, abs and make-up; she was stuck working at the local cafe five hours a day. It didn't leave her anytime to see someone or have a cemented relationship with the opposite sex. When the teenage years had passed and girls her age fell in love and we're quite sure they had 'found the one'; she struggled making ends meet to support herself, her alcoholic mother and keep herself in college. And when she had to fall in love, feel the butterflies and sweetness love brought forth, she had been somewhat misguided and tricked into marrying a man she feared and knew nothing about.

But things were hardly ordinary with Keri. She did want to feel comfortable with life. To feel loved and appreciated but it usually went so sour, she learnt to accept it as fate...

Keri's mother overindulged on red wine without any shame or control. It was a cool Thursday afternoon, and the concentration of people in the restaurant was low compared to some days. "I thought you quit drinking," Keri paused. "For real this time. That's what you told me."

"I would never quit the bottle. I just said that so you could get on with your wedding." Anoma spilled the wine she was drank from her mouth. Keri wasn't certain if her mother was aware of the kind of hurt she was constantly exposing her to. She wasn't certain if Anoma really hated her or it was the alcohol expressing it's contempt for her. "You're so naive! After all these years, you actually think I'd quit drinking because it makes you feel ashamed of me?"

Keri tried not to cry. "You promised you'd change if I married him. You lied to me! You used me for your gain!"

"And yours too. Don't pretend you don't like how deep his pocket is. You're a lucky girl Keri. Keep that in mind," Anoma took a gulp of her wine. "A lot of girls would kill to find themselves in Nathan's bed and stay at his towers all morning; and you're here whining like a fucken baby!"

Keri shoulders slumped and she felt like she was about to melt. Obviously her mother was never gonna own up to lying or dare apologize for it. Instead she was gonna bully Keri, make her feel bad about one thing or another and her wrongs would vanish into thin air. "Sit up straight would you! Anyone can take a snap of you and send it to the papers. Do you want people to say you're unhappy?"

"I am unhappy," Keri murmured. "I can't stand him. I can't stand what he does to me. Please make it stop," she pleaded with her mother; who had more interest in the liquid inside her cup than her daughter.

"Listen to me Keri. Listen really carefully...I've been a whore all my life. Everything you had, everything you've ever owned you got because your mother is a whore! You wanna cry about sleeping with one man? We're you gonna be a virgin your entire life? Tell me who the fuck could give you so much money in a day and allow you to carry his last name?"

"You never worked for anything. You were too drunk to do anything. Everything I had I worked for. You never contributed," Keri spat back quietly. Not wanting anyone to detect any suspicion of argument from their table.

"And you're still a whore! You're no better than me," Anoma laughed sarcastically." I don't know if you've realised this; but it's too late for purity now."

"I hate you. I truly hate you. No mother, no mother would ever do this to her own daughter!"

"You had every right to say no. I didn't pull a move on you. You wanted to be a heroine, save me from making bad choices. How's does it feel to know you've made the worst of choices Keri? Hhm?" Anoma raised the red wine glass to her lips.

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She leaned near the elevator doors for balance. Her mother was the one drinking yet she felt like the one drunk and disoriented. The was some truth to what Anoma had said. If only she didn't try to play 'the heroine' she would've never messed up her life. She would've never married him. She was sure of it! The elevator doors opened and she saw him lift his eyes to stare at her. The stare was as intense as his mood was. She could tell he was upset. She exhaled, preparing herself for the worst. Her stomach turned in knots and all she could do was hope her punishment wouldn't be as painful as the other day's.

"You're late," he told her. His eyes burning her sense of safety.

"I'm sorry. Mom was drunk. I had to make sure she got home safe."

"I don't give a shit. We were supposed to attend my brother's dinner party tonight. You didn't pitch. Worst of all, you fucken left without a driver."

"Nathan, please. You know I can drive myself wherever I want."

"Do you have any idea how dumb I look for declining my brother's invitation at last minute? When I assured him I'll be there to support him? Do you have any idea how fucken important this is for me and my family?!"

He was dangerously close to her and her heart was thumping like an army of a million soldiers. He rested his hand on his lower body; like he was holding himself from harming her. The urge was there. He wanted to see her in pain, begging for her miserable life. His hands grabbed her fragile body and threw her against the wall, she was quite certain life was over for her. When Keri exhaled, it felt like her last breath. The earth moved too quick and both her nose and mouth started bleeding. She knew that if she didn't unglue herself from the floor he would go at her and she might never get to see another light of day.

She coughed and spits of blood came out of her mouth; "We-we-we can still go. I'll take a shower. I'll be ready," she struggled to say anything more. Maybe if she told him she was willing to go no matter what he had done to her, he would know that her actions we're not meant to irritate him. She wanted to make sure Anoma got home safe. Was it so wrong?!

"Get up! You miserable bitch! I fucken take you from trash and fucken give you life; something to live for and the only thing you can do is be ungrateful. Get up!" he shot the words like arrows through her heart.

Keri lay on the floor. It was too much for her. The beatings, the verbal abuse. He was so persistent in pulling her down, she didn't know what to believe about herself anymore. She tried to move; seeing him walk to her little defenceless body. The wall she lay next to hung a painting she adored. She looked up at it, after struggling to lift her head a few times. It was a painting of a bird out of it's cage. It was silly, but she imaged one day she'd be free like the bird. One day she would stand on top of her cage and crush it. He delivered one blow with his shoe to her lungs. She moved side to side and stilled when the shock and pain we're absorbed by her mind. He took it upon himself to steady her up against the wall. His eyes facing her. When she looked at him, she smelled the self hatred and insecurity he possessed. She wasn't sure before, but now she could see it reeked all over him. Wherever he was present, it would be there, poured all over the place, besetting him.

"You are absolutely nothing without me. Everything you are, everything you have. Your happiness, your joy, your sadness, the money in your fucken account. It all belongs to me," he stared deep within her eyes and waited for a reply. In his mind, he expected her to nod in agreement. To approve of what he said as true and accurate. Keri didn't answer. She blankly stared back at him, tears running down her face. She hated herself for easily crying and showing him how all this got to her.

It didn't take long for Nathan to undress her. When he looked at her in the state she was in, he felt incredibly turned on. Something about Keri beaten up excited his sexual perversion. It was not enough to know her confidence was low. He had to be physically brutal to her. That way he was ready for sexual contact. He unzipped her black little number and discarded it on the floor then lifted her to the couch. Keri's soul was crushed. It was obvious what he was gonna do. It was obvious that fighting him would guarantee her another beating. He laid her down on the couch, fully aware of the scars and bruises his hands had crafted around her body. Her eyes were closed as she tried to not concentrate on his hand between her thighs. What he was doing to her left so many emotional wounds, she wasn't sure she could ever be the same ever.

Her nipples stood vulnerable to the savage attack from his mouth. He bit and sucked each one of them. There was no pleasure in what he did. There was a lot of hurt. A lot of shame. A lot of disgust and self blame.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear and she swallowed the words and they bounced off immediately. By this time she had heard them a hundred times and she knew they meant nothing and they never held him back from assaulting her. "Say it," he held her hair in his fist while her neck felt stranded plus exposed to his teeth.

"I-I-love you. I love you too," her throat burned as she let the words linger in the air. Her let her hair go. The force from his hand eased off and something about him became gentle. His expression was simple; for a moment she could've sworn he truly cared for her.

Nathan kissed Keri's lips. She didn't respond to the kiss. Only opening her mouth for a further assault when he bit her lower lip and she yelped in pain.. As soon as her mouth was open, he slid his tongue inside her and searched lustfully for the eroticism the contact between their lips would bring him. Parting her thighs, his torso was between her legs as he stroked her clitoris unashamedly. She whispered no and he carried on like she had never said a word. It hurt! Everything he was doing hurt! The pain from her abdominal area still persisted. She felt she was torn into two, with her stomach spilt open. Her arms had scars and all the bruises in her body were refreshed.

She smelled and tasted wonderful to him. He wondered why she couldn't just get herself together for him. Why couldn't she do what she was told? She knew if she didn't follow rules, he'd have to deal with her. He was aware that sometimes he was merciless, but it was necessary. Especially when she did things knowing they'd set him off! She pushed him to this! It was her damn fault things were so messed up. If only she could listen! He loved her for God's sake!

Keri cried out when Nathan lunged into her depths. It was more shame than physical pain. She had never dreamt she'd be beaten and taken by a man she never cared for. She never thought one day she'd be raped; not by her own husband! He quieted her, his hand covering her mouth. "Shh, it'll be over. I promise."

She tried moving under him but Nathan was heavy. He moved deeper into her and Keri felt her walls clench around him. He was large. Perhaps larger because she wasn't wet or aroused in any way. The tears flowed and the breathing slowed. His hand over her mouth was certainly a danger to her breathing. He could see that. When her eyes shut, he moved his hands and murmured sweet nothings in her ear. Was it already too late? Was she unconscious and what would he do if she was?

Thankfully after a while she resumed breathing! He noticed this as soon as his needs were fulfilled and he was dressed. She lay on their bed; eyes closed but God damn it she was breathing! She was still alive! Nathan kissed her forehead and covered her naked body with blankets. All the bruises on her body suddenly made him mad! He didn't want to see them. Thoughts raced through his mind and he contemplated if he was ever good for Keri and if he had a serious problem that had to be dealt with before his wife lost her life. Maybe he had to let her go. She had no life with him. It was getting clear everyday that she had no life with him. He was a messed up man; a man that would take every drop of life from her.

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Keri knew what had happened when she woke up and the first thing she felt was the soreness between her legs. She was raped! And she had been close to losing her life. She looked at herself in the mirror and the reflection of how bad things were hit her. This man was going to kill her! Everyday he was showing just how close he was. She had to do something real quick!

"Babe? Babe? Come here," Nathan called her to him.

She was scared of him. Going to him could mean meeting his rage and not going could mean the same thing too. He chose to walk to her and cover her fragile body with one of her night gowns. She trembled when his hands made contact with her body. Surprisingly he was gentle and kind to her then. He led her to the bathroom and turned on the tap. Her eyes looked bewildered. She realised he could easily drown her if he wanted to. Reading her mind, Nathan reassured Keri his intentions were not to hurt her. "Fuck!" he spat out when he touched one of her bruises . It was across her abdomen and it was recent. This meant he had caused it just hours ago. She moved away from him in pain when he touched her thigh. Keri wasn't sure what he was cable of anymore and if he had any limits. She was sure now that if he wanted to cause her harm, nothing, even a little human decency would stop him.

She lay her head on her knees, still trembling. Avoiding all eye contact or saying anything. There was nothing to be said. He had crossed the line weeks ago and everyday he seemed to be going further and further away from it. She also didn't believe there was any hope of making it alive as long as they were married. As long as she was his wife, she was under his control and mercy. And Nathan was a psychopath who couldn't be trusted with anything! He washed her, his face filled with concern and remorse. He recognised and admitted to himself that he was dead wrong. That he deserved to be punished and to suffer for what he did to her. She didn't deserve this! She didn't deserve all the shit he pulled on her. Especially the abuse.

"It hurts, stop!" she sighed. Nathan was trying to rub cream on one of Keri's bruises, "It'll heal out on it's own," she told him. He looked at her that moment and his self hatred expanded. Everytime he reached out to her she shook in fear and every time he touched her, he left her either bruised or hurting deep inside.

"I'm sorry. I swear I fucken mean it. You don't deserve this. Fuck!"

Keri fell silent and got into bed. When Nathan touched her, her body felt cold and detached from him. His arms were wrapped around her protectively. He wanted to protect her, to be there for her, to be her place of solace. But not with all the hurt he had put her through! Not with the abuse she was enduring from him!

A while later, Nathan had forced Keri to take pain tablets. ( Because she was tossing and turning in pain and he couldn't stand it.) Her moans scared him. At one point he thought he was losing her however he was too scared to call the ambulance because everyone would know what he had been doing to her. He was a fucken coward and he knew it! When she finally fell asleep, he wrapped his hands around her and breathed in her scent. She had gone through so much in just a day. He made a mental note to call her mother and tell her shit about her drunk behaviour. If he focused on the wrongs Anoma made, he might feel better about himself. He whispered to her, "You'll forget this. You'll know it was a huge misunderstanding when you wake up tomorrow. You'll know I needed this." He peeled off her clothes and swayed his tongue back and forth her neck. She turned, wanting to push him away but not being able to under the influence of strong medication. He was inside of her in moments. The pain killer had already taken cause. He knew he could do anything to her and no word of complain would come out her lips. This was a part of himself he couldn't control. He had never actively done this in the past. But he needed Keri. He needed to feel her moist pussy clenched around his manhood. To breathe down her neck and fill her with his cum.

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The next day came early for Keri. When she woke up, she had a pounding headache and her body was still in pain. Nathan was awake and he had prepared breakfast for her. After much persuasion, he got her to eat then she rested after. He never touched her. The urge to make love to her was gone cause he had to take care of her and make sure she got back on her feet. Besides he had gotten what he wanted the previous night. Her eyes remained glued to the floor because of the humiliation she felt. Her dignity had been slowly stripped away and she had ended up with nothing but a heartache and a wish for death. He helped her bath; it was partly painful watching her struggle and moan in pain. However he felt elated with how she looked; her total dependence on him. He lied and promised it'll all get better and that he'd never ever lay his hands on her again. He promised he'd put more effort on their marriage, keep her safe and love her like she deserved.

He also wanted a baby. For him, a baby would make them more responsible, more empathetic and considerate of one another. It'll give them more reason to hold on to their marriage. He was desperate for an heir too. If he didn't produce one, Ethan would step up and lead their father's company. Ethan of course had shown in the past that he was the most responsible of the two. Oh how Nathan hated his twin brother!

By dinner time Keri was awake and she was able to walk by herself. She walked downstairs, ignoring the look of fake concern on Nathan's face. He rushed to her aid, but she looked away and walked downstairs. She had to find her phone! She had missed submitting her assignments and she wasn't in contact with her lectures. She knew deep within her heart that she had failed her studies.

The dinner he prepared smelled divine. If he wasn't beating her down every time she could've learnt to enjoy his meals. He loved preparing meals for her. The only catch was that she needed to eat every one of them. If she didn't, he would get angry and she would get hit. No matter what, she had to eat what he had made. Keri didn't bother to comment on how delicious the food was. For her it was pale. It looked colourless. Even if the meal was wonderful, it was hard to appreciate it. Not with the mental state she was in.

She thought about leaving him. She thought suggesting a break would be an easy way out. If she used the word divorce, it might enrage him and she didn't want that. Keri lay in bed after dinner, feeling Nathan's eyes on her. Perhaps this was the right time to suggest a break between them. After so much had happened, it was only reasonable to go their separate ways and perhaps cool off.

"Nate?"

He didn't answer. He walked to the bed and sat close to her. He was glad she was finally saying something. "Nate?" she called out to him again.

"Hey, I'm here babe," he held her hand and witnessed the tears falling down her face as soon as he turned her face to his.

She sobbed painfully, "I can't take this. The pain, the beatings. I'm not sure what I did to deserve this. Nate, if I'm not what you want, please release me. Cause I can't keep living like this. I can't keep living in constant fear and abuse."

He kept silent, digesting her words. "I need a break Nate. You need it too. Maybe if we're not in each other's space for a while you might work on your anger issues and I might be able to forgive..."

He didn't let her finish the sentence. He grabbed her, smashed her against the wall. When she didn't move, he picked her up and carried her to the balcony. The shock took over and she only realised her life was in danger when he held her down, her whole body only being a weight on his hold because of gravity. If he let go, if he dared to let go, she'd fall and die!