First, I'd like to say that I wasn't a slut. I dressed in a conservative fashion and I'd only ever been with three guys at the time it happened. Only one of them was due to too much alcohol...but I was single at least. It could be said that I was definitely sexually within the norm at the time....
It happened in my second year at Western University. It was fall and I was twenty three and supposed to be enjoying the prime years of my life. Instead I was squandering every night studying or preparing my projects for med school.
My social life was almost non-existent. I longed for my parents home in the countryside. I literally dreamed of running off to the countryside to walk in the tall forests of my youth.
I'd fought hard for my position in the school and I needed to keep my marks up if I was going to get one of the better positions or specialize. If that wasn't enough pressure, if my marks slipped my grants would become loans and I'd be buried in debt. I pretty much enslaved myself to my future for the last six years. It would pay dividends in the long run.
My saving grace were my close friends Erica and Samantha, who affectionately called me "Jewel". Evidently, "Julia" took too long to say. We'd made a pact to get out twice a month to dance and let our hair down. We coined the term "Freedom Frenzies" as all three of us were single due to the workload. Erica's boyfriend two hundred miles away while Samantha and I had respectively put our serial monogamy on hold. Who had time to date? Not us. So we'd exercise our freedom by going clubbing and flirting with whomever has on the dance floor. Then we'd go back to Erica's apartment and drink until we passed out or fell asleep.
I was taking several classes that semester, two of which were with Samantha. Sam and I were both suffering through anatomy with Dr. Creeper and Medical Ethics with Professor Richards. Dr. Creeper wasn't his real name, it was the name he earned by how he stared at the pretty girls in class.
Sam always said I was beautiful and I guess Dr. Creeper agreed. He gave my the chills from the first day of class. When drunk Sam would joke that I'd been "Eye fucked" by him so often I should feel very satisfied and save on C batteries. -On the contrary, his violating stares made me feel naked and in need of a shower. He was a shameless, lecherous old man.
Professor Richards was almost the exact opposite of Dr. Creeper. He was calm, approachable and very easy going. Sam joked that he looked like Indiana Jones (as the first movie had just been released to theaters at the time). I didn't think he was anywhere near that cute and definitely not as young as Harrison Ford. He was middle aged and as boring as he was nice. He dressed sharp though.
"Nice leather jacket. I wonder if he has a whip too," Sam whispered quietly to me during a particularly dull lecture from Professor Richards. I stifled a giggle at the thought. I shushed her quietly. Anything would get me to laugh when I'm that bored.
"I'm dying from the amount of memory work anatomy is burying me with," Sam confided beside me as she went through her purse to retrieve some chapstick.
I agreed. We'd spent every night this month studying for a mid-term together. With exams all coming up at the same time I was having very little time for my Medical Ethics paper and I kept postponing doing the memorization for Ethics. There were so many useless dates, names and events he wanted us to be able to regurgitate for him.
Plus, everyone else was cheating on every test as he cycled the tests he used from previous years. He'd also step out for a "smoke" break, although he didn't smoke, leaving only one assistant to watch the class of two hundred. To top if off he'd always have the tests in his lecture hall where it was too easy to have a cheat sheet tucked away under the scrap paper you were allowed to bring in.
Sam leaned over and whispered "I'm thinking of using a scram sheet for this one." I couldn't believe Sam of all people would consider cheating. "Sam no!"
"What options do we have? We have the heaviest workload of our lives right now. We haven't gone clubbing or dancing in over a month and I know we are spending every second studying as is."
"Sam I can't believe you're saying this."
"What? Everyone else has been cheating all year. Our marks are suffering for being honest and we are working ourselves ragged. Why not make use of last year's test this time to get caught up? Just this once. We lost that weekend when your car broke down. You ever heard of anyone ever getting caught cheating in this class?."
I chewed nervously on my pen and imagined how much of a weight this would take off.
Sam whispered in my ear, "We'll never get caught. We can spend an hour practicing on how we'd do it. One hour to save ten."
"You have a point. Just this once though. Just to get caught up," I said nodding nervously.
And that was how it all started.
We did spend an hour photocopying the bootleg copy of the test and agreeing on our different answers. We practiced cheating until we had a good technique. It was such a relief to not have to memorize all those name, dates, etc. That night we drank and laughed ourselves silly. It was such a needed stress break.
That week, when we entered the lecture hall, I was so nervous. Everything apparently went smoothly. I finished the test without anyone even being by my desk. I tossed my scrap paper in the garbage and waited until the time was up to leave(as we weren't allowed to disrupt the exam by leaving early).
Professor Richards walked up to me five minutes before the end.
"Julia, I'd like you to stay after everyone leaves please," he said in a tone that I've never heard him use.
My heart started to race and my hands were sweating profusely. I even had to put them in my lap as they were starting to shake. He couldn't know anything. No one saw me. No one was near me other than my fellow cheating classmates. I've got to stay calm. It's likely some other reason I kept telling myself trying to keep from letting my panic show.
The buzzer rang and everyone started to leave. Sam walked towards me and saw Professor Richards standing just behind me. She knew me well enough to know I was scared shitless. Sam subtly diverted her course and continued past without saying anything.
When everyone had left, Professor Richards put his hand on my shoulder and said "Jewel, I need you to come look at something for me."
He said it in the kindest manner and I knew I was home free. It really was for some other reason than cheating.
"Ok," I said still trying to calm myself and not sound terrified.
I followed him without saying a word. We left the lecture hall and walked to his office across the hall. Before I entered I wiped my sweaty hands on my bluejeans.
His office was beautiful and smelled of old books. A mahogany desk was piled high with papers in one corner and a computer monitor on the other.
He sat down behind his desk and motioned for me to sit in the smaller chair facing the desk.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"No thank you."
"Suit yourself." He poured himself a small amount of rum from a flask in his desk. There was one remaining empty glass.
I could use a shot...."Can I change my mind?"
He smiled kindly and poured me a glass. He did look good for his age I thought to myself as I picked up the glass then sat down again.
He turned the computer monitor on his desk around and said "I wanted to show you this."
I watched myself writing today's exam. The camera angle was perfectly able to see me cheating. The resolution and zoom were horrifyingly good.
I almost dropped the rum. I froze hoping this wasn't happening. He tapped a button and the view changed to show four cameras watching me cheat. I was screwed. If I was standing my knees would have given out. I felt like I was going to puke.
The door opened and I turned around expecting the Dean. Instead, Professor Richards' assistant came in. She was a very pretty girl. I got a pity smile as she passed MY cheat sheet to the professor. She must have gotten it from the garbage just now.
"That will be all," Richards said dismissing her with a wave. She nodded and left.
I looked out his full length office window into the courtyard three stories below, wishing myself away. My hands were shaking now and my heart was deafening. I was close to fainting.
Professor Richards took the untouched glass of rum from my hands and set it on his desk before I spilled it. He smiled warmly and spoke in a soothing, soft voice.
"You don't need to talk Jewel. Just listen. You know the schools policy on cheating don't you?"
I nodded while swallowing and holding back tears. There is no way I wasn't looking every bit as terrified as I felt. He had me dead to rights and I needed him to know it. Sympathy was my only chance now.
He continued with a calm, easy tone. "There is...and I don't fully agree with it..." He pointed his finger in the air to emphasize the point. "...a zero tolerance policy on cheating. Once caught, the student is expelled and it is permanently added to their academic record."
He walked to his bookshelf and opened the policy book flipping through it. With a shrug he put it on his desk by me. "It's in there somewhere. Very cruel that policy. It puts you in a tight place."
I nodded quickly without making eye contact. I was barely able to hold back from sobbing.
"I am obligated to report all cheating. Unfortunately, the school is quite clear on this."
I saw my future burn before me. I've never cheated before why did I. I didn't need to. Now I'd be permanently expelled and no med school would take me after that. It would be on my record. Oh shit, the grants become loans. How would I repay them on a minimum wage job? Oh fuck, Oh fuck fuck fuck,
Professor Richards bent over and put his face in front of me. He looked sad and I could tell he felt pity for me.