Hello, my name is Carole and I am an idiot.
I wasn't always an idiot. I grew up in a suburban neighborhood with lots of kids my age. We did all the typical kid events; birthday parties, sleepovers, soccer, and all that stuff.
As much as I liked playing with my friends, I also enjoyed time alone where I could play with my imaginary friend whom I had named Joe Parrot. Joe did whatever I wanted him to do and for that reason, we never got into fights. He was the perfect friend.
Looking back, I can see that my parents were good about Joe Parrot's presence in my life. They never discouraged me from having an imaginary friend but at the same time, they didn't fuel my desire to be with him. They just waited, knowing that kids grow out of these things.
And I did, at some point, leave him behind. To be honest I don't remember losing Joe Parrot. I never mourned his death or got into a big fight where he stomped off to oblivion. One day he just left.
Fast forward through high school and college. I was living alone in an apartment on the 14th floor of a city that I won't name here. I had moved to the city to take on my first job only months before and knew very few people. My only friends were work acquaintances all of whom lived elsewhere in the city or the local suburbs.
I was, and still am, a closet submissive punishment freak. I have been that way ever since those hormones kicked in that turned me into a sexual being. My fantasies usually are about me being humiliated and/or punished in some creative manner.
Looking back, living by myself was not a great idea. I should have looked for a place with a roommate but my job afforded me to live alone so I thought that would be best. Once I was settled in my apartment, boredom set in big time as did my fantasies. It was then that Joe Parrot returned to my life.
I talked with Joe Parrot often during those lonely days and nights. I rationalized that, like me, he had changed since we were kids. He was no longer willing to do whatever I wanted. It was the opposite. Joe Parrot was here to control me
Joe Parrot told me that if I didn't take care of my home I would be punished. A dish left in the sink on a Friday night would result in a self-spanking on Saturday morning followed by thirty minutes of corner time with my pants and undies around my ankles and my hands clasped behind my head. Joe Parrot didn't care if the blinds were left open allowing people in the next building the opportunity to witness my punishments.
Joe Parrot was mostly around on the weekends and would often wake me in the morning to admonish me for some misdeeds done during the week.
Below are two accounts of incidents where Joe Parrot chose to punish me
PUNISHMENT 1. THE BUS RIDE
"Carole," he said one Saturday just as I was waking all warm and cuddly under my covers. "Don't you think that making fun of your coworker's outfit yesterday was mean-spirited?"
The previous day a girl on my team had worn a pair of pants that were way too tight along with a top that showed off her rather fat breasts. I commented to another coworker that she looked like she was going to explode out of her clothes. I even made a comment suggesting that people around her could be wounded when her buttons flew off at high speeds.
"Yes sir. It wasn't appropriate to talk about her like that," I responded internally. I found that I always called Joe Parrot sir these days.
"How would you feel if someone was talking about you like that?" he asked.
"My body could handle those clothes," I replied defensively.
"That's not what I asked you."
I knew it wasn't what he was asking and I knew that I was wrong joking about the girl. "I would be hurt," I replied contritely.
"Good," my imaginary friend replied. "You should have felt that way and today you are going to get a dose of humiliation to remind you not to make fun of others."
Since Joe Parrot was actually in my head, I knew what he was going to say next. Still, I was shocked by his next command.
"As punishment for your poor choices yesterday you are going on a bus trip today..."
"No, Please!"
"No arguing Carole. Today you will ride the bus downtown wearing tight jeans and your wide arm loose fit tank top. You will wear nothing under your top."
I felt a sudden rush of humiliation along with a warmth between my legs that required my fingers to reach under the covers to feel the dampness that was suddenly gathering inside me.
"No, Carole," Joe Parrot said sharply. "Up and out of bed NOW!"
Whenever Joe Parrot yelled I moved quickly. I shed my covers and jumped from the bed ready to follow whatever instruction was to come next.
"Off with your nightshirt you little slut."
I pulled my oversized tee shirt over my head leaving me stark naked. I saw myself in the full-length mirror across the room and even though I was alone, I felt ashamed.
"To your closet," he commanded.
I moved to my closet in a robot-like fashion and started to open a drawer to pull out some undies. I was stopped as I touched the handle.
"No underwear today, Carole."