The phone on his desk rang, and Jonah snatched it up quickly, glancing at Jasper. It hadn't woken her. She remained curled up on the couch, still deep in an exhausted sleep.
"Hello?" he said quietly.
"Jonah Gabriel Parker."
Jonah closed his eyes. "Hi, Mom."
"What did you do?!"
"Can you be more specific?"
"Curt called me this morning and told me that you canceled some girl's scholarship! Without even telling me. Why on earth would you do that?"
Jonah had known this was coming, but didn't actually make up his mind about how he was going to handle it until he opened his mouth and said, "She doesn't need the scholarship anymore. She has money for tuition."
There was a puzzled silence on the other end. "How do you know that? Do you know this girl? Is this something personal, Jonah?"
Taking a deep breath, Jonah said, "You could say that. She's my wife."
This time the silence was longer, and practically vibrating with his mother's shock. It was quite a while before she managed to say, "You got married? When? To who? Why didn't you tell me? Wait, Jonah." Sharp disapproval entered her tone. "She was in college - how old is this girl?"
"Nineteen."
"Jonah!" The shock and horror in her voice made him bite his lip to keep from laughing.
"She's an adult," he said, keeping the amusement out of his voice with an effort. "Nothing to be shocked about."
"The age difference-"
"Rich older men marry younger women all the time, Mom. We're practically expected to. If you think about it, I'm actually being very traditional." Few things gave Jonah more pure, simple delight than fucking with his mother. "Remind me how much older Dad was than you?"
"That's not the point," she snapped. "People will talk."
"Don't be so melodramatic. Yes, some people will gossip. It's not the end of the world. They'll eventually get bored and move on to a new topic."
"Is she pregnant?"
"She is not."
"Well, that's something, at least."
"If it makes you feel any better, she was a virgin, too."
"Jonah!!"
Jonah had to move the phone for a moment in case he couldn't hold back the laughter.
"Why on earth do you do things like this?" she asked in exasperation. "Everything with you is always so..."
"So what, Mom?"
There was a soft but exasperated huff. "Why do you always have to make everything so difficult?"
"I'm sorry," Jonah offered. "The only reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't want anyone to know yet."
"And you suspected I wouldn't approve," she said pointedly.
"And I suspected you wouldn't approve," Jonah agreed with a small smile.
There was a pause, then a practical sniff. "Well. What's her name?"
"Jasper."
"Is that her first or her last?"
"First name. Maiden name was Mason." It made him ridiculously happy to call it her maiden name. He eyed her sleeping form, gaze wandering over layers of bruises and welts in various stages of healing.
"Oh, Mason? Is she-"
"Whoever you're thinking of, no. She doesn't come from money and she grew up in Texas."
"Oh."
Another little pause. Jonah could practically hear her trying to think of how to ask it.
"Are you... have you known each other long?"
"About a month."
She finally gave up. "Oh Christ, Jonah. What the hell are you doing?"
Jonah chuckled. "You don't need to worry. It was fast but it wasn't hasty. It was right. I'm sure of it."
"Do you love her?" There was genuine surprise in her voice.
"Of course I do," Jonah said very quietly, eyes on Jasper's face. "You'll understand when you meet her."
"Oh, I get to meet her, do I? How gracious of you."
"How long are you going to give me shit about this?"
Her voice went from sarcastic to scolding in a heartbeat. "Don't use that language with me."
"You cursed five seconds ago," he pointed out.
"That's different. It's a matter of respect, Jonah. You shouldn't use that language when speaking to your mother."
Jonah rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry. How long are you going to needle me for eloping?"
"Well, I think I'm at least entitled to a few visits, don't you? So that I can get to know my new daughter-in-law and possible mother of my grandchildren?"
Jonah winced. Usually she could wrangle him into one or two visits home each year. This was maybe enough leverage to get three or four. "Of course. But not right away. It's only been a week. We're still on our honeymoon."
"Oh, right, I forgot. You still have to get to know each other."
"There's that classy New England snark," he said affectionately. His mother was from Maine, originally.
"I suppose it's a good thing you canceled her scholarship. That's at least one hint of impropriety we can spare ourselves."
"Do you ever listen to yourself talk?"
She sighed testily. "You'll let me know when you have some dates in mind?"