That bitch was over two hours late. We had specifically made reservations at the Uber Cafe, one of the hippest and most elegant restaurants in the city. A lone musician was all that was left of the jazz band. He played a tenor saxophone in a quick succession of rolling notes that seemed to melt together, like the remains of the candle in front of me had melted into its waxen puddle.
My eyes were cloudy in the dim lighting of the restaurant, and I felt the need to urinate. I got up, hoping that if she came in, she would talk to the maitre d'hotel.
A moment later, as I emerged from the gentlemen's room, there she was. I tried to muster up some civility, as I was long past rage.
"Janet," I crooned in a low tone. "I'm sure there must be some reason--"
"Shhhh." Jan placed her hand over my lips. I had to admit that it felt good. "Honey," she continued. "I am so sorry that I am late. I had a car accident. It is rather minor, but it unfortunately delayed me for some time. . ."
"So, was there much damage?" I asked, politely.
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE?!" she stage-whispered at me, indignantly. "You didn't even ask me if I was all right!" Her face was twisted into a mask of rage.
"I'm sorry." I said. "It's just that we agreed to meet two hours ago. If this were an isolated incident--"
"WHAT? NOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?" she was almost shouting at me in her "discreet" stage whisper. She grabbed my hand, and practically dragged me out to the parking lot. "My jacket. . ." I pulled at her hand.
"COME ON!" She pulled on my hand. She showed me a large dent on the side of the car. "The bastard that hit me-- well, I'm sure it wasn't his fault -- but he hit me and didn't even stop. I was almost here, too. I had to have the policeman run his license plate in order to track him down. HE is going to see ME in court." Her face was desperate.
"Gosh, I'm sorry, honey -- that's too bad." I said as sincerely as I could.
"You don't sound sorry. . . Can't I get just a little sympathy, here? You don't need to be such a bastard about it--" It was clear that she had begun one of her little tirades. "Don't you see? I'm completely helpless-- completely at your mercy. I need you to care -- care for me. All I ask is for just a little sympathy, maybe a kind remark --"
"Oh, honey, I am so sorry this happened." I tried, again.
"Why are you interrupting me? First, you make me feel bad, and then you interrupt me?" I could see tears in her overly large, blue eyes. She was so beautiful. I just wanted to-- but she would just get angry with me if I mentioned it. Her long blonde hair hung in a shiny broad wave, covering one of her now red-rimmed eyes. The curve of her cheek was so smooth and fair.
"--and I would think that you could at least listen to me!" She choked out, past her tears of frustration.
"I'm sorry." I repeated.
"You never listen to me, why can't you just leave me ALONE!" She screamed.
"So what do you want from me, right now?" I asked. I knew this game all too well. She would continue berating me until I lost my temper, and then she would play "poor little me." Maybe I could short circuit it, this time. Before she could reply, I raised my voice at her.
"LISTEN. THIS ACCIDENT IS JUST A MINOR THING. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. LOOK AT YOURSELF. YOU ARE JUST FINE. IT IS CLEAR--"
"Why can't I get any sympathy?" She looked at me, pleadingly. "I don't understand why I can't get any sympathy? I've been waiting all week for just a little affection, a little love--"
I lost it-- just like both she and I knew I would.
"Why don't you just go and get fucked, LITTLE GIRL! I'm not your FUCKING NURSEMAID. Every FUCKING day something goes wrong for you, you BITCH! It NEVER ends! It's just one crisis after another!" I walked away from her, back into the restaurant. She ran after me.