Izzy looked at her father in amazement. "You've left a lot out. An awful lot..."
"There were a few adventures and problems afterwards - your mum couldn't even boil water! - but that's not important now. The village welcomed us with open arms and we were all able to make a new home here. No one ever knew - except Oozol and probably Grall - that your mum was a ponygirl, although I think a few suspected it. But it was also a little easier than with a normal ponygirl: the prince's mare didn't have to be registered or pay taxes - the privilege of the nobles. Only her brand could give her away, and her missing teeth because of the horse's bit." He hung the saddle on a hook and stroked it carefully. "But once, horse hunters came to our village and your mother narrowly escaped them. If anyone in the village suspected the truth, they didn't give your mother away."
Izzy bit her lower lip. She herself had once surrendered a ponygirl... a feeling of deep shame spread through her. She had denied a poor girl the protection that her own mother had probably received.
"After that, we secretly registered her to Oozol, so we were covered in an emergency. Within a few months, your mum could speak quite well; and whenever someone asked us about it, we simply explained that she was from far away and had to learn our language first. It probably convinced most people. Apart from the three of us, only old Hersia ever knew the truth for sure, but she also helped you into the world, so it was hard for us to hide the brand. However, after that it was no longer important..."
They both looked sadly into each other's eyes. They had rarely spoken about Izzy's mother's death, partly because it was difficult for a child to understand that it was not their fault if their mother died in childbirth. Today Izzy was older, and understood things better, and yet she felt a burden on her that wasn't really hers.
"It would be so wonderful if she could see you today. I'm sure she would be able to give you better advice than I can on this subject. But you'll have to make do with your old father. But as you can see, I trust Oozol and his son. To the extent that I'll entrust you to them too, if that's what you want."
She chewed hard on her cheek until she could taste some blood. "I'm not sure. It's... not as bad as I thought. And somehow it's also..."
" "Liberating? Your mum always told me that life as a ponygirl was more carefree. As a horse, you don't have to worry about many things, the difficult issues are taken off your hands. She described it as a positive emptiness; she only learnt about real worries and hardships during the war and as a human. That's why she often went to the stables later in difficult times and occasionally let Oozol ride her. Maybe it was just nostalgia, but something about her old life had real meaning for her."
"In her former life, did she..." Izzy chewed on her lower lip. "Am I her..."
Matheus cleared his throat before answering. "She never wanted to tell me about that. I'm sure she didn't want to hurt my feelings. You have to understand that as a ponygirl, she had no choice. But the truth is also that even if you had siblings out there, the war will probably have eaten them. We all lost something in those years." He looked at her thoughtfully. "While we're on the subject, hopefully you'll give your old dad lots of grandchildren one day. Bastian always looked good to you."
Izzy suddenly blushed. "Yes, but he's also a cocky bastard. Besides..."
"Oh, grand foals would be fine too, of course."
"Stop it...!" Izzy gulped, preferring to change the subject hastily. "Has she ever forgiven you?"
"You mean about the prince?" He stared thoughtfully out of the door. "No, never really. It was a hard blow for her. It never tarnished our love, but it was still painful for her. That's why I have an inkling of what it's like between you and Grall. Everything I did for her was out of love, even if it didn't always feel that way to her straight away. But she trusted me and in the end she was happy. Give yourself time to think. It wasn't an easy choice for your mum. She often thought about going to Oozol in the stable. But our love grew with each passing day - it was a long journey, but you can believe me when I tell you that we were both happy in the end. She would have loved you very much." He wiped a small tear from his eye and took a deep breath. "I'll go to Oozol and tell him you're ill and can't come. That will give you some time to think. But before you go to bed, I'd better take you behind the stable again." Izzy blushed, but nodded gratefully.
Two days later, Matheus and Izzy were sitting down for breakfast. The bread was fresh and the cheese homemade. They ate it in silence, but both sensed the question in the air. They had not exchanged a word since their conversation in the stable, although they had often met - as was inevitable in such a small house. But Izzy was still unsure of herself, and Matheus seemed to sense this. He gave her the time she needed. But something was different at this breakfast. Izzy felt strangely alone, unneeded. As if she wasn't doing what she was supposed to be doing. She gritted her teeth.
"Do you want to try again?" her father finally asked, as if he had noticed his daughter's thoughts. Izzy was almost startled by the sound of his voice.
Two voices were shouting at each other in her head: Her emotions and her mind. Her feelings were about Grall, the rides and the fun they had often had together as ponygirl and rider. And then there was her mum... but at the same time her mind was screaming what a stupid cow she was to even think about it! The road could only end one way, and that wasn't good. But for a moment, her emotions got the better of her and she nodded.
"But you have to understand one thing, Izzy: goblin law is different from ours, especially when it comes to humans. There is a clear separation between humans and ponygirls, and that separation is irreversible. Only the goblins determine who is a human and who is a ponygirl. But most importantly, habit can lead to ownership in goblins. If too many goblins see you as a ponygirl, you're a ponygirl. Then Grall can declare you his property, even if you don't want him to." Again, Izzy nodded dumbly. Her mind screamed even louder, but she didn't listen.
They both finished breakfast in silence, then wordlessly walked out into the yard and into the stable. "You know how to do that?" she asked, even though she knew the answer. Her dress fell to the ground and he skilfully put the saddle on her, then the bridle and boots. He held the horse bit in his hand. "Are you sure you want this?"
"Not forever. But I want to try again."
"You don't have to do it just because your mum was a ponygirl."
Izzy thought for a long time before answering. It was a strange feeling, and maybe it was true - it wasn't just about Grall, her mum was a reason too. "I want to understand how she lived. Just one more time. Then I'll stop."
Matheus led them along a narrow footpath to Oozol's courtyard so that no one could see them. They both stopped in front of the entrance. "Have fun, Buttercup," her father said before tying her to a post and walking back. It was still very early and dark, the yard was asleep, so she had to wait until almost dawn to be found. It was strangely humiliating to have to wait tied up like that, but of course she had no choice - but somehow it was also exactly the kind of life she wanted to experience again. Her time was meaningless; she was only there to be available to her rider at all times, and otherwise wait to be needed. Izzy endured it without grumbling - her mum had grown up like this and she wanted to feel what it meant again; it was the first time in her life that she felt truly connected to her mother. Does everyone else feel like this when they follow in their parents' footsteps, Izzy wondered, shuffling her hooves.
With the rising sun, Pexo found her and, yawning, loosened her reins. Without a word, he led her across the yard and past her usual stable. "Your stable isn't clean yet, you'll have to wait somewhere else for a moment," he explained, his eyes dropping. "This one should be fine." He put his hand over his mouth, then opened the door, pushing Izzy inside and slamming only the bottom door shut behind her. The sun was rising behind the stable, so it was still gloomy inside despite the open top half of the door, but Izzy was used to that by now. She sighed and was about to sit down in a corner when she noticed a movement in the darkness. She startled and pressed herself against the door. Although her eyes were still used to the night, it was not enough to recognise more than a shadow, but she knew by instinct that she was not alone. Another pony was in the stable with her. But who? She lifted her nose into the air and detected an unfamiliar odour - it was pleasant and tart, strange and yet familiar. She ventured a step forwards; was it Sunshine? No, she smelled different. All ponygirls smelled different. Her legs became soft. She neighed softly, it sounded shrill and anxious in her ears too. The answer was also a neigh - it was deeper, more powerful. A stallion.
Izzy trembled. Was it Titan? The stallion she had seen before? He was big, powerful, strong, interesting... and exciting.
She swallowed and took a step into the darkness. By now, more light was coming into the stable and she could make out the first outline. The stallion rose slowly and Izzy sensed that he was studying her closely. She was already more in the light and must be a pleasant sight for him. She knew very well how men reacted to women - in this case, that probably translated well to a stallion and a mare. She neighed once more and the stallion took a step forwards. It was only a small movement, but with his muscular legs he crossed half the stable until the chains stopped him. The sun revealed more of his form, and also the enthusiasm he showed for her. Izzy blushed; but wasn't it also flattering? Had she ever been able to get another man so excited for her? She didn't know for sure, but here it was right in front of her. The stallion grinned through his bit. There was still a couple feet separating them, but only for as long as Izzy wanted. Something drew her to him, close to him, to his strong chest. She licked her teeth and took a step towards him. Not enough to be with him, but enough to make him tug wildly at the chains.
"What's going on?" shouted Grall. Izzy turned round on the spot and stared at Grall and Oozol, who were leaning over the stable door watching her. Horrified, she took a few steps backwards and bumped into the stallion, who enthusiastically thrust his manhood between her thighs, but didn't quite reach his target. She was startled and hopped forwards again; she stumbled and hit the door. "Take it easy, Buttercup. What are you doing in the stable with Titan?" He turned to the yard and shouted, "Who put my horse in the stable with Titan?
