I had been away on a business trip for a week. It was supposed to be for two weeks but the deal fell though and we finished up coming home early. I rocked up at my place on Friday evening to find a party in progress. You can understand I felt a little surprised, as I live alone.
I explained to the intruders that throwing parties in someone else's house was generally considered to be unwise, unless they got permission first. Seeing they did not have permission I was forced to chastise a couple of the young ladies. After that I assumed they would all go home.
What actually happened was that they continued to party and I retired defeated. While they partied I drank coffee and at various times chatted with my unexpected guests. I had, during the course of these chats, given the girls my assessments of them. Two of them, Helga and Louise, implied that I was incorrect in my assessment. I invited them to come around on Sunday for a deeper discussion, not really expecting them to.
Not come around together, mind you. They were completely different character-wise.
Helga was a hot blonde who I had suspected was Lesbian. The reasons I'd suspected that was mainly her attitude when I'd made certain suggestions to the group. Did I mention the party was an all-girl nude party? What, you're shocked? Think of how I felt when I walked into it. Anyway, I suggested she come over on Sunday to demonstrate her non-lesbian nature. She suggested that I was mad to even consider such a thing.
While chatting with her amongst the things we discussed was whether she'd ever been raped and was it rape if a girl gives permission to be raped? I told her if she came over on Sunday morning she'd experience the first item and would have the first-hand knowledge required to resolve the second, as her attendance at my place would be considered permission. She thereupon upgraded my mental state to totally deranged.
Louise, on the other hand, was a brunette. Now her figure was every bit as nice as Helga's but there was a vast difference in attitude. Helga exuded confidence. Louise was a lot quieter. When talking with her she'd touched on the question of how I'd chosen the two girls to chastise. One was a no-brainer. Michelle had the key and setup the party. Karen had a bad attitude. She was rude to me. However I did point out to Louise that I would have skipped her anyway because I wouldn't want to be accused of brutalising a virgin.
Girls are so touchy. They can get offended if you rape them and even more offended if you don't. Ditto with virginity. Flustered if you say they're probably a virgin. Upset if you say they aren't.
Louise got all upset at the virgin insinuation and implied I didn't know what I was talking about. I promptly implied she was lying by implication. I suggested she come around on the Sunday afternoon and I'd prove she wasn't a virgin, no matter her state when she arrived. Louise stalked off in a huff.
Sunday morning rolled around but Helga didn't. Why was I not surprised? If a young lady tells you that she thinks you are deranged it's not normally a precursor to a friendly visit.
Sunday morning evolved into Sunday afternoon and I, being realistic minded, was expecting a quiet afternoon. Yes, I had invited Louise around to demonstrate her virginity or lack thereof, but really, I ask you? Not the most romantic assignation I'd ever suggested. Possibly not the worst, but it was certainly in the running.
Now it takes a reasonable bit to set me back. Seeing Louise strolling down the path to my door wouldn't have generated any emotion apart from slight surprise and a touch of lust. What did rock me was the fact that Helga was right there next to her and the two were chatting away, which boded no good for me I was certain.
What the hell was I supposed to say to them? If either one had fronted up I'd have set to work on a little bit of seduction, knowing that was what they'd come around for. But both of them? Not that I would object to some fun and games with both of them but I don't think they had that in mind. There was the matter of Louise's virginity, for a start. I was damn sure she was one. I could see Helga joining a threesome and not really worrying about the sex of her partners, but Louise?
I still wasn't sure what I was going to say when I opened the door and invited them in. (In this case 'wasn't sure' means I didn't have the faintest idea.) Anyway, I very politely invited them and we sat and conversed about nothing in particular. Eventually I had to broach the subject of why they were both there.
"I thought you'd be coming around this morning," I observed in Helga's general direction.
"You thought no such thing," she said calmly. "You didn't expect me to turn up at all."
"Didn't I?" I asked curiously.
"No, you didn't."
"So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this afternoon?"
"I heard that Louise was coming around so I came along to chaperon her."
I looked at Louise and she blushed and looked elsewhere.
"Why would you think that Louise needed a chaperon?"
"I thought that if you were prepared to rape me if I came around this morning then you would probably be prepared to rape Louise."
"Not without warning her in advance," I said calmly. "Louise and I were having an argument as to whether she was a virgin or not." Louise's face was now bright red. "I invited her around so we could prove this one way or the other. And there was a little promise I made her."
"What was the promise?"
"None of your business. That was between Louise and me."
Helga just looked at me as if to say give me a break.
"Louise?" she said, looking at her.
Louise's face seemed to get even redder.
"Um, he implied that I wouldn't be a virgin by the time he finished looking."
"So you were intending to rape her."
"Not guilty. Seduction, possibly, but that's all."
"Humph. It looks as though you're missing out all along the line today."
"What makes you think that?"
"Well, you can hardly take liberties with Louise when I'm right here."
"I'll repeat. What makes you think that?"
Helga glared at me.
"Are you seriously saying that you are going to molest Louise with me right here?"
"If she doesn't object. I don't mind if you watch."
"She is right here listening," pointed out Louise.
"You're right. You are," I conceded. "The big question is why are you just sitting there with all your clothes on? How are we going to determine if you're really a virgin while you're fully dressed?"
"Do you seriously think I'm going to get undressed just so you can see if I'm a virgin?"
"Of course not. There's also that little matter of making sure that you're not one when you leave."
Louise sat there spluttering, seemingly quite angry. I don't know why she should be. That was the reason she came around and we both knew it. Actually, all three of us probably knew it.
"You needn't think that you'd be the only one naked," I told Louise sympathetically. "Helga will be standing there right next to you, naked as a jay bird."
"What makes you think I'm getting undressed?" asked an indignant Helga.
"Well, you have three options. You can get undressed, I can undress you, or you can concede defeat and run like a scared rabbit. It's not as though I haven't already seen you naked and I have the pictures to prove it."
"Pictures? What pictures?"
"That's a secret. I may tell you before you leave and I may not. Ah, which option are you choosing?"
"Hold on," protested Louise. "If you have pictures of her. . ."
She was remembering that party and the fact that all the participants had been naked.
I winked at her and nodded, letting her know I had her photo as well.
"I have an idea that might make things easier for you. After the pair of you are undressed, instead of having an insensitive man like me check out your virginity or the lack thereof, we'll get Helga to do it for you."
They both looked a little bemused at this, flicking quick glances at each other. Then I added the punch line.
"Orally, of course."
Louise turned bright red and Helga looked as though she was ready to burst out laughing.
"You're kidding. Do you really think you can make me do that?"
"As long as Louise agrees, then yes. You put yourself in this position so you are stuck with the consequences."
"Consequences? What, you'll rape me if I don't do as I'm told?"