Introspections Ch 09

He awoke early the next morning and set about preparing breakfast for their guest, who gave him a dubious look as he entered the kitchen.

"Where's your slut? Don't tell me you're her personal chef and maid as well?"

He cracked another egg into the pan, crushing the shell to smithereens in his hand before responding.

"I drug her at night, I prefer not having to shackle her to the bed. Besides, she doesn't cook. Completely hopeless at it, even when I punished her for lack of effort. Your boss should have vetted her profile more thoroughly before putting her on the market. Hence the need for another girl, one who can fulfill some of my other basic needs as well."

The guest nodded his understanding.

"As we discussed last night that is something my boss will take into consideration. Providing, of course, the necessary funds are in place for an additional investment."

He flipped the egg onto a plate, belatedly wondering if he could have laced the eggs with cyanide. Unfortunately he needed this lackey alive if he was going to take a message back to his boss.

"I assure you funds are not an issue. They are already in place. I will send your boss the necessary details as soon as I have his response."

After the men finished their shared meal they rose from the table and at the guest's request made their way toward the master bedroom where the girl lay sleeping, curled up under a blanket in the middle of the bed. Her master pulled the blanket from her body, leaving her naked and helpless before the two men.

"You could take her now, obviously she's in no condition to stop you."

The baiting was becoming ridiculous, it was well past time to show their guest to the door.

"I assure you when I do finally decide to claim her sexually she will be wide awake and able to feel every last thrust. The weather looks to be getting worse so you really should be on your way. Please send your boss my regards and pass on my request. I will look forward to hearing from him some time soon."

Finally the door was closed and locked and he could breathe freely. He moved back to the bedroom and looked over the girl sleeping peacefully. She was so enticing lying there, asleep and blissfully silent, that he couldn't resist running his hands over her body, softly stroking her hair before reluctantly pulling himself away. He groaned in frustration and headed to the bathroom for yet another cold shower.

He was sitting at his computer working when she began to stir, finally sitting up and drawing her fingers through her tangled hair.

"It's about time, I thought you were going to sleep the day away. Our guest has been sent on his way, so it's time for our discussion. You have ten minutes to get ready and meet me in the living room. Wear something sexy and don't dally, I am timing you. Don't push it."

She stared at him in confusion, uncertain why she would need something sexy if they were alone again but he didn't offer an explanation, simply turning away and leaving her to dig through the dresser.

When it came to sensuality the selection left much to be desired, aside from only mildly provocative underwear her choices consisted primarily of sweatsuits and tee shirts. She pulled out a racier pair of underpants but after that was at a complete loss. Finally she settled on the lone pair of tight fitting jeans and then headed to the closet to raid his clothes, finding a button down shirt that didn't drowned her completely and tying a knot to the side. If he wanted something sexier than that there was shopping to be done. Realizing her time was almost gone she quickly ran a brush through her hair and pulled it into a side ponytail. With only a minute to spare she headed for the living room.

He sat on the couch with a chilled cup in his hand and tossed a throw pillow down at his feet. When she knelt without further prompting he offered her the straw and she took a sip of what appeared to be a smoothie, though she puckered her lips in response to a bitter aftertaste.

"It's laced with gin and you are going to drink it all. I want you slightly buzzed, it will make the conversation more interesting. Now drink!"

There really wasn't that much alcohol in the drink and even though he knew it was her first time consuming any alcohol at all it would be unlikely to cause any level of drunkenness. He was counting on the placebo effect. She looked at him as if considering beginning an argument but seeing the sterness in his gaze she thought better of it. Without further delay she drained the cup, then sat back on her heels awaiting his next command.

"Listen closely Hannah, because I am only going to say this once. You are not a lost cause, a wasted effort, or the problem child you make yourself out to be and I am not going to tolerate your charade a minute longer.

It's time to give up on your pity party and start accepting yourself for who you really are. The next time I hear you speak toward yourself with even a hint of disrespect your ass will pay for it."

She opened her mouth to object and he held up a hand to stop her. He stood, pulling her to her feet and pushing her down the hall into the bathroom where he stood her in front of the mirror.

"Tell me sweetheart, what do you see when you look at yourself?"

She put on a show of bravado and snapped back a witty reply. "Not much of anything, I really do need to clean the mirrors in here."

He frowned at her. "That comes dangerously close to a self depreciating comment girl, watch yourself. I won't take any pleasure in punishing you but I'm not kidding when I say I won't tolerate any further disrespect toward yourself. Do you want to know what I see?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and started the lip nibbling. "Why do I get the feeling you are going to tell me whether I want you to or not?"

He turned her to face him and ran a thumb across her cheek, drawing her eyes to his.

"Because I'm going to, whether you like it or not. I see a beautiful, stubborn, strong and brave girl who for some reason is unwilling to allow anyone to love her including herself and who hides behind a pointless wall in a half-hearted attempt to protect herself from being hurt. It's not going to work Hannah, you can't hide yourself from me forever. You will eventually have to let down your guard and when you do I will be ready and waiting."

He really didn't want to punish her, so he didn't give her time to lash out at him. Pushing her out of his way he shut the bathroom door behind him, leaving her staring at the mirror in stunned silence. After a moment she found herself blinking away tears, a weak response she was unwilling to tolerate. Anger was far safer than grief. She reached for the soap dish, throwing it across the small room and shouting in frustration, then sinking to the floor with her back against the door waiting for him to demand she let him in.

He didn't come looking for her. Finally she grew tired of waiting and she picked up the dish, relieved to find it had survived her outburst unscathed. Placing it back on the counter she left the bathroom, stopping in the doorway to the living room where he sat on the ledge of the fireplace with her journal in hand.

She crossed the room angrily and yanked it from his grip. He released it without a fight.

"I didn't read it Hannah, though God knows I want to. I don't know what I am doing, I'm no psychologist. Help me understand where you are coming from sweetheart, please!"

She laughed sarcastically. "I am a psych major. Not to mention I've seen no less than a dozen psychologists and more than my fair share of shrinks, none of who managed to drive me as mad as you do. How do you expect me to explain something I can't begin to understand myself? It's not that I don't want to let anyone in, believe me I have tried to break down the walls, but I can't do it. All I know is the walls are there for a reason. They've kept me alive, even if it's a pointless, lonely shadow of an existence. If you are waiting for me to tear them down voluntarily you've got a long wait ahead of you."

He stood, placing his arms on her shoulders, refusing to allow her to push him away.

"Hannah, up until the bastard made his move the only people you've had to hide yourself from are ghosts. Mere shadows in a three year old's memory. Unless I am missing the part where your adoptive parents were cruel and uncaring the only thing you've managed to protect yourself from is love. Come on into the bedroom, I want to show you something."

Sitting down at the computer he entered his password and clicked a link on his bookmark bar, pulling up a news story from several months earlier. The girl sat staring transfixed at the screen as the feed played, the earnest pleading of voices she had fought hard not to think about as she'd struggled to survive over the last few weeks quickly sinking in.

Deep down she had known they cared for her, but hearing her adoptive parents' pleas for her safe return drew her back to fighting those still unwelcome tears. When the clip ended he turned in his chair and gently wiped away a single tear as it trickled down her cheek.

"They don't even know I'm still alive. I can't tell them."

He sighed. "No. I wish you could, but it's too dangerous. For us, and for them as well. Until the bastard gets what is coming to him they can't know anything at all. I'm sorry."

Her shoulders slumped. "Don't be. This mess isn't your fault."

"We'll get him Hannah, I promise."

She turned away from him and retreated back into the bathroom, locking herself safely away before she sunk to the floor and curled up in fetal position, finally giving in to the tears.