In

I spent two days in the hospital, curled up and staring blindly at the wall. It was all really over, but I knew it could never really be over. Not so long as I remembered it. Manny stayed with me night and day, but I ignored him as much as I did everyone else who came in to see me.

Ben was the first to reach me. "Rhett. Please. You are everything that is good in this world, I need you! You are my best friend! I'm having girl issues and Danny is shit at advice! I need you to talk to me! I need you to meet her and tell me if she is shit or not? You know I can never tell, I have awful taste. You don't want a bitch sister in law, do you?"

I looked at him. "Is any part on her made of plastic?"

He smiled when I spoke, but his look turned confused. "Plastic?"

"Fake boobs, fake nose, fake lips?"

"Ummm... she had some breast work done... and I think some lipo and botox, but..."

"No."

"You haven't even met her!"

"What's her favorite book?"

"Well, she doesn't really read, but..."

"No."

He sighed in frustration and sat back. "Fine," he said after a few minutes and sat back up. He took hold of my hand in both of his and hugged it to his cheek.

I looked past Ben to Manny who was sitting by the window, watching me warily. I looked back to Ben. "Is Daddy here?"

"Him and mom went to grab a bite and feed your dog. He's been staying at their place. Dad kind of likes him, he keeps the reporters out of the yard."

I managed a smile. "I bet he does."

"Danny said he would be back tomorrow, he had to take the boys to tae kwon do."

"Yeah."

"You do have other company though. They are out in the waiting room so they don't crowd your room."

"Who?" I asked curiously.

Ben gave me a vague smile and looked over his shoulder at Manny. He answered quietly,"My parents, my sisters and brothers, their kids. Family you met the other day and at my house."

"Oh... they didn't have to come and stay all this time?"

"You are already their daughter and sister Mija," he said gently. "You are family. Of course they are here for you. Madre adores you and so does the rest of my family..."

Ben stood up. "I'm going to get a cup of coffee. You want anything bratface?" he asked.

"Coffee sounds amazing," I answered.

He left and Manny took his chair and took hold of my hand.

"Miha," he whispered. "I am sorry. I did not check under your bed? And I should have come back more quickly!"

"Don't," I said softly. "It's not your fault. I don't want to talk about it."

"Mija!"

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" I screamed, then turned away and started crying again.

He half tackled me from behind as he laid behind me and pulled me against him. "It is a lot to move past Mija, but we will. You will. I will help you, but you have to let me help you!"

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" I yelled, wrapping my arms around my ears.

"No Mija. No. We will get through this. You. Me. Your family. Your WHOLE family. We will..."

The nurse came hurrying in. "Is everything alright Margie?" she asked in false concern, barely masking her annoyance. "We heard yelling?"

"My FUCKING name is MARGARET. Or RHETT! I have heard my mother and brother and Manny correct you EIGHT times you condescending CUNT!" I screamed at her, furious.

She left, turning red.

"Mija," Manny scolded lightly. "She is..."

"I don't care what she is! I don't care! I want OUT of here! I want to go home and just... just... " I broke down crying again, going limp and completely giving up again.

The nurse came back with a doctor and she had a syringe for my IV like she was going to sedate me. The doctor looked me over as I lay there staring through everything. He spoke quietly to the nurse who scowled at me, but left without using the syringe. The doctor asked Manny to leave and I was left alone.

Half an hour later, a woman came in and sat down in front of me. "Hello Margaret. Do you prefer Rhett? Your brother says you do. I will call you Rhett. My name is Pamela. Pam is fine. Can you look at me Rhett?"

She sat talking at me for half an hour, but I never looked at her or acknowledged her. All I could think about was that my life would never be my own ever again. There would be doctors, nurses, Pamelas, journalists, bloggers, strangers who knew what happened and wanted to ask questions. Family. No one would ever let me forget what happened, no matter how hard I tried, they would all keep it right in front of me at all times, never stopping, never relenting.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't deal with that. I wanted to forget. I had to get away from the people who refused to let me forget.

It was an hour later when Pamela came back in with my mother. "...really think it would do her a lot of good, just for a few days," Pamela was saying. "She is trying to..."

"Mama?" I asked softly, interrupting the woman.

"Oh! My baby girl! Yes?" My mom asked, tears in her eyes and she clutched my hand.

"Can you take me home? Please? I just want to go home and sleep in my bed for a couple nights before I go and look for a new apartment."

"Miss Hjalman, I don't think that is a very..." Pamela began.

"I don't care what you think! You have no idea what I need! I need my mom and dad and that's all. That's all I want. My brother. My family. It's all I need."

"And Emanuel?" Pamela asked curiously.

"No. Just my family. I want a few days of peace."

Pamela nodded slightly, then looked back at my mother. "Mrs Hjalman, may I speak to you outside for a moment?"

"Mom?" I asked fearfully. "Please take me home?"

My mother looked torn and upset. She kissed my hand, but stepped out with Pamela. As soon as the door shut, I yanked my IV out and all the wires and tubes off of me before I grabbed my clothes out of the cupboard.

The condescending nurse hurried in, followed by Pamela as I was pulling my jeans on.

"Ma'am," the nurse said, hurrying to me and putting her hand around my arm. "I really need you to get back in bed and lay down. We can call..."

"No. No. I am twenty four, not a little kid. I can leave when I want to and I want to. I am checking myself out. Now."

Pamela stepped closer. "Rhett, we would like for you to stay and your mother agrees. Three days, just to make sure you won't harm yourself."

"Harm myself? Mom, really? As hard as I fought to stay alive, you think I would hurt myself or kill myself? You really are a fucking idiot and deserve to have whatever liscense you have taken away," I said to Pamela. I turned back to my mom. "You know me well enough to know I wouldn't kill myself. She is an idiot. If you try to do this anyway? You will never see me again. Ever. That is my vow to you. If you don't trust me you do not deserve the love I have for you."

"Rhett!" my mother cried, shocked. "This isn't like you!"

"No! Killing myself isn't like me! I can't believe you would listen to that charlatan! Don't you know all this hospital wants is the publicity they are getting while they keep me here? I swear to you mom, if you listen to that bitch and not your own daughter, you WILL lose me. And it will be your own doing."

"Mrs Hjalmar, you can see how she is manipulating you," Pamela said to my mother.

"Fuck this," I said angrily and pulled my shirt on before heading to the door.

The nurse followed me and grabbed my arm, jerking back hard enough to drop me hard on my bottom. I bit my tongue hard and screamed as blood filled my mouth.

"Oh! Oh Rhett!" my mother squealed.

Manny pushed in and looked down at me, his mouth an 'O' of shock and then anger. I rolled and let the blood fall out of my mouth onto the floor and my head spun as I looked down at the blood. I vomited as I tried to back away from the blood, but it followed me, still dripping out of my mouth.

I felt Manny's calming hands on me, pulling my hair back out of the way as he held me off the floor until I finished vomiting, then rolled me to face him so the blood would stop falling.

"Ay, Mija!" he cried, his hand stroking my face. "What did you DO to her?" he demanded.

"Get her on the bed, she is going to need stitches," the nurse said tersely.

"Not her!" I yelled around my split tongue. "She did this! Get her out!"

There was a lot of yelling and excitement after that, but in five minutes, I was in another room with Manny holding one hand and my mother holding the other as the doctor stitched my tongue shut. The two nurses were new nurses.

As soon as The doctor finished, I demanded to be released.

I was left alone in the room as every one of them stood outside talking to Pamela and deciding my fate. I got up and jerked the door open and walked towards the door as Manny caught up to me. "Mija, you can't..."

"Don't you tell me what I can't do!" I yelled, sounding ridiculous with my swollen and hurt tongue. "I am checking myself out and you have NO right to stop me! None. You can just leave, you and your family! Here!" I snapped, yanking the ring off and thrusting it at him. When he looked down at it in hurt and confusion, I dropped it on the floor and turned to walk away.

There was an armed security guard in front of the door now, looking past me to the doctor. I turned, ready to lose all my shit.

"Your nurse just put her hands on me, threw me down and caused me to have to get seven stitches for no reason at all. You keep me here and you will find out how quickly this place can get shut down. I have been tortured and held hostage by mass murdering psychopath who didn't cause as much harm as your nurse did! The journalists out there waiting to see me will love to hear about that! And about how you are trying to keep me here just to keep them out there and get you more publicity! I have every right to check myself out and leave whenever I want! McGovern is gone, dead. I don't need protection anymore, I want to go live my life and I should be allowed to! Not held hostage longer by some money grabbing assholes!"

"Rhett," Ben said gently, hurrying to me. I was ready to tear into him too. "You are right. You should be able to leave whenever you want. That woman is going to lose her job if she hasn't already, I will make it a point to see it done. She should never have been allowed to keep being your nurse after Manny turned her down so hard and she got so bitchy about it."

What? That horrible witch had come on to Manny? I was going to kill her!

"If I had been thinking, I would have told them to get you a different nurse who wasn't being so catty. It just wasn't important with how concerned we were about you. Look at me Rhett. Come and stay with me for a couple days. I'll help you move your stuff, we can..."

"Her apartment is empty," Manny said softly. "All her things are at my place. I didn't think she would want to go back there... and I thought..."

"Your apartment is fine," I said to Ben, then turned back to look at my parents. My mom looked torn, but my father only looked pissed.

"You all really screwed the pooch here, didn't you?" he spat at the doctor. "We are taking our daughter out of this place. Right now."

My mother had no choice but to give Pamela a curt nod and follow. The security guard moved as the doctor waved him off and I stormed through the door.

Manny caught up to me. "Mija!"

"My name," I growled turning to him. "I know you know it and I know that you know that I hate the nicknames that I don't understand. Leave me alone Officer Ramirez. I am safe now. I don't need a babysitter."

I spun to leave and Ben put a comforting hand on my back. Walking out of the building almost made me run back inside. Instead, I walked right to the cameras and told them exactly what had happened with the nurse and what the staff was doing. They seemed confused as I ignored their questions and told them what had happened, but they were still eager to get every word and ask more questions about it.

I turned to leave and one of them asked, "Where is Emanuel Ramirez?"

"McGovern is dead," I said coldly. "He doesn't have to protect me anymore. He is going back to his normal duties."

"So you are not engaged to Officer Ramirez?" another man asked quickly.

"No," I answered, walking away angrily.

"Rhett," Ben whispered anxiously. "Maybe you shouldn't be so rash..."

"I'm fine, Ben," I said more gently. "If I shut it down hard, he won't come back around. I don't want to lead him on. I just want to move on now. Ok?"

"Sure sis," he answered, but I knew he wasn't convinced. It didn't matter. I didn't need him to be convinced, I just needed out of that hospital so I could get far away from this place.

I stared out the window until we got there, then went straight to the extra bedroom in his apartment and shut the door. He didn't knock until morning.

"Manny brought your stuff over. Do you want to talk to him?"

"No!"

"He said to tell you he brought empanadas."

"I said NO!" I yelled more loudly, loud enough that Manny could hear from the parking lot.

There was silence after that. The next morning, Ben knocked again. "Hey bratface, I need to go to work. There's pizza in the fridge and some canned soup in the cupboards. You need anything before I go?"

"No thanks!" I yelled.

As soon as I heard the door shut, I went out to the front and went through my things and repacked, paring down to one bag. I arranged what was left as close to how it had been as I could before I called an Uber and left. I went to my bank, then to the bus station and looked over the board. I wanted as far as I could get as cheaply as I could get there. A place where no one had ever heard of me or McGovern.

Portland Maine. Halfway across the nation. I was in. I got my ticket and climbed on the bus to wait, even though it wasn't leaving for another hour.

There were six bus transfers over the next two days and a lot of people doing what people always did.

"Wow, are you traveling all alone?"

"Where are your parents?"

The only thing worse was when a fifteen year old hit on me.

There was snow on the ground when I stopped off the bus in Portland, but I didn't mind. Despite the cold and the snow, I could still smell the ocean. It smelled like a fresh start.

Another Uber ride found me a hotel and two days later I was in a tiny apartment with six months rent paid up front. Thrift stores and craigslist furnished my little apartment and I felt good. Everything was behind me. All of it. I never had to think of any of it again, or see anyone who would make me think of it again. It was over.

I found a job as a receptionist part time until I managed to get a fake ID and a new name. Then I got a job doing what I went to school for. It was nice getting back into that groove.

The trouble was that I was struggling. I was sleeping less and less as the nightmares got worse. I was feeling reckless and I didn't care about anything.

When my boss called me in to discuss my dwindling performance, I got up and went around the desk and leaned over it, lifting my skirt. I asked him to please punish me for it. He blustered a moment until I slid down my panties too and asked him pretty please. He smacked my bottom a few times, not hard at all. He had obviously never done it before. He picked me up and set me on his desk, pushing me back so he could see my pussy between my spread legs, then he pulled my foot up and my shoe off before starting to suck on my toes and jerk off. He switched back and forth between my feet and I watched him until he stood and squirted all over both of my feet.

The next day, there was a new pair of shoes in my office. Strappy, crystal high heels. I stalked into his office in them, swaying as I rounded the desk. I hoped up onto his desk and spread my legs, showing him that I wasn't wearing any underwear. He immediately grabbed my foot, but I pulled back and grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his face to my pussy. "Me first," I whispered as I laid back.

He wasn't an expert, but I didn't mind telling him what I wanted. He got me there, if a bit slowly, then I let him suck on my toes and jerk off.

He was not unattractive, in an older guy way. He had a slight pudge, but a full head of hair and a kind face. He was known for being strict, but he had never been anything but condescending to me. Most men were.

I didn't really care, as long as I could get my mind off my troubles for an hour. It became a daily ritual and some days I even stared at the picture of him and his wife as he fingered me and sucked on my clit.

A month in, I came in while he was on the phone and smirked at him as he looked at me in alarm. I shut his door and locked it, then began taking off my clothes as he watched wide eyed. I never took off my clothes.

I rounded the desk and rubbed my ass on his crotch as I wrote on a paper.

'Fuck me while you are on the phone, but make sure they do no know and do not hang up.'

He read it and shook his head wide eyed.

I nodded, then wrote, 'or I walk out today and you never see me again.'

I turned as I handed him the note and bent over his desk like I had that first day.

He stood behind me and undid his pants and I felt his hard and ready cock spring free and hit my ass. He slid his finger over my slit, but I was already wet. The thought of what I was making him do was exciting me. He eased in slowly and I heard his breath catch as he moved even more slowly, his hand in the small of my back. He was trembling from head to toe. He answered a question on the phone and his voice cracked. I smiled and shoved back on his cock, forcing him to ram into me.

"Oh!" he yelped. "Sorry Mr Hamata, I need to call you back, I just spilled hot coffee!" He slammed the phone down and grabbed both of my hips. "Oh, Dierdra, you naughty naughty girl," he moaned. "I didn't even realize how tight your pussy was!" He pulled back and rammed in again, moaning again. I shoved back as hard as I could, forcing him to sit in his chair.

I stood and turned. "I said you had to stay on the phone," I teased, then got up on the desk. "You want this tight pussy, daddy?" I asked, knowing that was a turn on for him.

"Oh, baby, you know you do."

"You know what I want," I purred, pulling his face down.

I laid back as he worked his mouth on me and slid his fingers in and out of me. I cried out when I came and he quickly clamped a hand over my mouth to keep the office from hearing me. I had never been loud for him before, and I was doing it now on purpose.

I slid off his desk, feeling sated and vindictive. I climbed in his lap, straddling him, rubbing my wet pussy all over his cock. "Mmm, Daddy, you feel how wet I am for you?"

"Yes," he whispered, his voice strained.

"Mmm, I think I want you to fuck me daddy... but I do need to be punished for being so loud, don't I?"

"Oh, yes baby!"

"Maybe you could fuck me in the ass? Teach me a lesson?"

His face went slack with need as he nodded, his hands pulling on my hips greedily.

"Mmm," I purred, leaning on to nuzzle his ear.

He watched me stand up, expecting me to bend over his desk. Instead I pulled my clothes on and walked out the door. I didn't even stop at my desk, there was nothing there I wanted. I went straight home and laid in bed, hoping for an hour or two of sleep without nightmares.

The next week, my ex boss showed up at my door looking nervous. "Dierdra! Hello... you haven't been in and you haven't answered your phone?"

"No. I quit. I thought you realized that," I said calmly.

"I... I thought you might have, but I have been trying to call. I wanted to talk to you."

"Did you want to fuck, Henry?" I asked curiously, allowing my robe to part so he could see that I was in nothing but a t-shirt.

"I... I did. I do! I do... but I thought... I thought... maybe we could do something different?"

"Different like how?"

"Like if I brought you clothes to wear... and wanted you to do your hair a certain way... and I brought a friend to see you. Maybe you and him could..?"