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* * *
Time meant nothing to her now.
How long had it been?
It was impossible to gauge the passage of time in the windowless room that was continually bathed in stark brightness. The very concept of time itself seemed so remote and distant. It was part of a different life she once had. A completely different universe.
She was locked alone in this hellish existence.
She was so lonely and so frightened. Terror and fear controlled her emotions.
She had sobbed and wailed uncontrollably.
She had screamed in pure terror.
She had yelled in desperation for some sign of life outside the prison cell she was trapped inside.
She had clawed desperately at the door until her fingers bled.
There had been nothing. No response at all to her increasingly frantic attempts to make contact with somebody, anybody.
She was just so alone. Terror and the gnawing fear that gripped her were the only companions in her waking nightmare.
* * *
Amanda was completely naked in her bleached out prison. Well she was almost naked. Naked would have been preferable. The horrible collar held her neck tightly. The band of solid black plastic encircled her neck, stretching it painfully and forcing her head upwards. It was impossible for Amanda to move her head to the side or look down. She could move her head up a fraction but that was all.
Struggle as she may, the collar was locked tight around her. It was impossible to remove. That was the most frightening aspect. What was this object that was fastened to her? Who had put it on her? What did the collar mean?
It was all just too much for Amanda to take in.
She was just so alone.
Amanda's world was a white hell. The small room consisted of a white tiled floor and walls with bright fluorescent lights recessed into a white ceiling that blared continuously. The lights never dimmed. Amanda had an almost permanent squint now whenever she dared to open her eyes. But there wasn't much need for her to do that. The glare was much more bearable if she kept her eyes shut.
The room was completely bare and without furniture. The only concession to her basic needs was the central drain in the tiled floor through which she'd learned to expel her own waste. A small trough had been built into the wall opposite the blank metal door. Through a tube above it, some sort of greyish sludge that passed for food was periodically dumped into it. Amanda had no utensils to help her eat so she'd learned to suck the sticky mess off her fingers, licking the chemical tasting gooey slop from her messy hands.
Then suddenly it had begun. The voice had boomed through her featureless world. Startled at the sound of another human being's voice Amanda had staggered to her feet and looked around frantically for the source of this unexpected development. Her dazzled eyes searched the tiny cell in vain.
There was no one. She was still all alone in the room.
The voice had echoed through the silent nightmare. After so long bereft of any other human contact the voice was almost deafeningly loud. It seemed to be coming from all around her. All directions. The voice echoed off the tiled walls and floor. It echoed through Amanda's solitude.
Amanda listened more closely now after overcoming her initial shock. The voice was familiar somehow but also frightening. Amanda shivered.
The female voice spoke clearly in sharp distinct sentences. There was no emotion present in the words. The voice was as blank as Amanda's cell.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
Over and over. Just the same three short sentences repeated again and again. Amanda realised that it was on some sort of loop and that it would go on and on until whoever had decided to inflict this torture on her decided to stop. The same dull monotone rang around the tiny room.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
Slowly Amanda realised why the voice was familiar. It was almost impossible to believe. It staggered her imagination despite the terror and exhaustion that fogged her mind.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
The voice was hers. She was speaking these things. These horrible things.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
It couldn't be. Amanda had never said such things. Amanda screamed in the pain of desperation as she attempted to comprehend. What was happening to her?
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
The initial shock had worn off after a time. How much time, Amanda had no way of telling. Instead the voice, her voice, had become a constant companion. Like the lights, it never wavered. Her voice kept repeating the same sentences over and over again.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
Amanda didn't hear the voice now. She lay curled up on the floor as usual, beyond caring. Amanda lived for the moment now. Amanda lived to crawl to the trough, eat and crap and then curl back again to the cold blank floor. Her eyes were closed almost all the time now. But it made no difference. There was no escape from the hard white world. Lethargy overcame Amanda's mind. Somehow she was no longer worried about anything. She wasn't even frightened. Amanda had gone way beyond that by now.
"I must obey."
"I am a slave."
"Obedience is pleasure."
Now doubt wormed away at her mind.
Was the voice from outside?
It was her voice?
Was inside her own head?