In His Home Pt 11 12

When I woke we were in a different car and the sun was setting on a different side. Hands stroked through my hair and they conversed with groggy tones and rough edges. I shut my eyes quickly and hoped to hear something of worth.

"Harley says he's already moved his things in and that Des is giving him a hard time about living downstairs."

"Don't like?" Jamie replied tersely.

"Apparently not," Roman replied above me and I guessed it was him stroking my hair. I fought against gagging or recoiling. "I doubt Opal will like it either, but it needs to be done. None of us are safe."

"No." Jamie agreed and cracked his neck. "Till?"

"He's not looking too good, Van says he might not make it." There was an air of solemnity between them and I quietly frowned. "Van is a crock however so don't put too much faith in him."

"Hate him." Jamie muttered as we turned quickly. They stayed silent, as if waiting for me to move, then went back to their conversation.

"I think everyone hates that doctor." Roman sucked his teeth quietly. "I miss Ethan already."

"Yes."

"Do you think he's safe somewhere?" Roman asked absentmindedly, tapping what I guess is his phone screen aggressively.

"Probably, can take care...of himself." Jamie grunted out spacing his words like usual.

"I hope so, Sophie is a fine woman." My gut soured at the way he said it. "I'm surprisingly looking forward to LoveSong this year."

Jamie laughed roughly and I fought to not tense. "Not...me. Hates the idea."

"Of Opal being out there?" There was silence and I guessed Jamie nodded. "She'll be fine, you saw her in the forest. She can hold her own too well."

"She was not scared." He grunted and groaned, "Not of us."

"Not of you." Roman corrected sourly. "At best she doesn't fear for her life with me, but she is not comfortable."

"You're... gross."

"And you're retarded." He quipped. Jamie growled only to prove his point. "She glues to you as if you'd save her but then runs from you when you want something in return, it's odd."

"Okay with me." He sighed as if it was not okay with him. "Just...wish she love me back."

"All due time, Jamie-Bear." Roman chuckled, "You must exercise patience and dominance with women, they want a protector and a husband. You are only schooled in one aspect, you are not a husband."

"Try." He said painfully, as if he were hurt by those words.

"I know you try," Roman set down his phone and stopped playing with my hair. "But trying is not good enough. Stelle and I have been married for ten years and I still do not get it right, its not about being perfect it's about making your woman happy. Happy wife, happy life is not just a saying."

That made them both laugh.

"Do yourself a favor and stop trying, Jamie. Do not hide who you are. It will only make it worse when she finds out herself. You are mean and you are a savage, these are things she knows but does not understand because you hide from her. You took her for whatever reason. You say you love her, then love her for that reason. She will never love you the right way, the picturesque white picket fence bullshit, because you did not approach her. You stole her. So act like it, and she will come to love what she can about you. If you do not act like it, there's an absolute chance she will hate your guts and want to bite your throat out during sex. And probably will."

I wanted to applaud Roman for that was the only reasonable thing he's said as long as I've known him. He was a douchebag for all I knew, now he's telling Jamie not to act when he puts up a front himself. He is married, he loves his wife and he cares greatly for those around him. He's a hypocrite.

"I don't want to." He whispered so lowly I almost didn't hear it.

"Have to, Jamie." He mimicked Jamie so well it felt offensive, almost. "You have to."

"If she doesn't like?" He asked pointedly.

"Then you've done your best." Roman didn't seem convinced himself and played in my hair again. "Throw her out, get a new one for all I fucking care." He muttered and I revoked every nice thing I've said about him thus far.

"Will not." Jamie snorted and I smiled at him in my mind. "She is mine, love her, want her."

"She's a bitch a dozen." Roman sounded as if he rolled his eyes. "Stelle is twice as beautiful and a hundred times more sexier."

"She sexy." Jamie smirked with his tone, "Rock hard all time."

"Yuck." Roman drawled, "Any way, be prepared to see Harley and his girl, I hear he's been a pain in Stelle's ass the entire time he's been there. She called me just this morning to whine about him eating all her snacks and stinking up the place."

Stelle has a phone? Didn't he steal her as well? Is there a way to get privileges, perhaps?

Jamie chuckled as he increased speed making my stomach knot up all over, "Party."

"Yeah." Roman snorted unkindly, "Cant wait for it."

"Who...else?"

"Landon is coming down from Washington with Hannah, Tate, and Eric with Henry."

"A lot." Jamie sighed.

"Get used to it, especially if there's more survivors." Roman's hand turned wandering, cupping my breasts under my arm and twirling the ends of my hair before dipping over my ass. "She is knocked out."

"You scare her, wide eyes and crazy breath." Jamie sucked his tongue at Roman, "Me too, terrified."

"Ooh, that's a big word, Jamie." Roman applauded.

"She say it all time." He snickered quietly, "I learn for her."

"You tell her how badly you want her to suck your dick?" He joked to my detriment.

"Yes." Jamie huffed laughter along with his friend. "No. To talk more, she thinks a lot. Want to know."

"You can talk more without getting overwhelmed." Roman observed. "One word used to put you in a panic, then you would shut up for months."

"Diff...erent now." Jamie grunted and I wanted to frown. "She let me talk."

Roman nodded slowly and tears prickled at my eyes for this man. His existence was just so sad. It was hard not to at least pity him. "Once you get comfortable with it, I hope she has a plan. To get you to stop is the trick."

He scoffed humorously and the conversation dropped off completely for a while.

"Fuck Mike." Roman spoke abruptly and I jolted at his tone. I could not hide my ruse anymore that way so I moved to settle back in. He let me, going completely still so that I may find comfort. Nice doggy. "She is irritating me, so close to my cock and yet so far."

I groaned at his laughter and moved away from him completely, seeking comfort against the door with my cheek on the window. "Where are we going?"

"To my house." Roman answered obtusely and I sighed.

"Where is your house?" I pulled my knees away from his only for him to press into them again.

He hummed, "What's that joke?" he wondered aloud. "Ah, yes. Next to my neighbors house."

"Where's your neighbors house?" I smiled lifting my head from the window.

"Next to my house." His laughter bubbled from his throat.

"Stop." Jamie grunted obviously annoyed.

"He's in a bad mood because I almost killed you." Roman explained with a tight smile. "Sorry about that, turns out being shot is definitely not like being stabbed. Neat difference."

"You've been stabbed?" I exclaimed hoarsely and he sighed, sifting through a old ladies bag, to retrieve a bottle of water. He handed it to me and I drank heavily.

"More times than I'd like to admit." He mused, "The more scars you have, the more fights you've lost." I glanced to Jamie and Roman smirked, "That's a different story, Jamie has this weird little hobby-"

"Don't." He growled. Roman shrugged falling back into his seat like a petulant child.

"You're no fun." He complained turning to look out the window. I did too, noticing it was still an orangey dusty environment so we couldn't be far."

"Good morning, Jamie." I mused wondering if he'd care to say it back. His shoulders loosened and he sucked in a long, low breath. The car veered off to the side and Roman screamed while I couldn't get any noise out, only breathy noises until we came to a stop.

"You maniac!" Roman leaned forward to punch the back of Jamie's head. "My balls are in my fucking stomach, I was so scared."

He abruptly got out, we watched in stark silence as he walked around the car and to my side. "What's he doing?" I asked but Roman only shrugged.

"Probably going to kill you by that look in his eye."

Indeed, he did have a sinister gleam to him.

I surged to the other side as Roman called and my door was flung open. He snatched me by my ankles and I was flipped to my back while being dragged out the car.

Finally I could scream but it was cut short as I came face to face with the psychopath holding me down. "Say again."

"I don't really want to." I breathed.

"Say again." He growled more forcefully and it came tumbling off my tongue.

"Good morning..." My hands were trembling as my heart skittered to a complete stop. His brows raised slowly and my lips parted. "Jamie."

His mouth pressed to mine so slowly. It was at odds with his tone but felt so good. A soft moan fell from me as my lips were forced open and his tongue moved against mine. I fisted my hands in his shirt and breathed in his scent of embers and dewy roses. It was aphrodisiacal.

"Like that." He smirked when he pulled away leaving me flustered and uncomfortably hot. "A lot."

"Don't get used it." I stammered pulling myself to sit up as he chuckled.

After I was buckled in firmly, he closed the door and laid across the driver's seat lazily. He seemed like he was bubbling with something tangible, something Roman even raised his brows to and avoided my gaze as he covered his mouth with both palms.

I shifted nervously, shoving my hands between my thighs to conceal their shakiness as Jamie turned the engine over and merged back into traffic.

"What?" I mouthed and Roman shrugged, turning to avoid other questions as well.

I did not like whatever this is.

They fell back into surface level chatter now that I was awake, the kind I was used to. And as day faltered to night Roman grew weary, his eyes clouding over more and more, until he was stone cold next to me with his mouth open wide enough to shove a golf ball between his lips.

"What funny?" Jamie asked yanking me from my thoughts. I wiped my smile from my lips and sighed.

"Why did you get weird earlier after we..." I couldn't even finish that sentence. Since when did it become a 'we' situation?

"Kiss?" He glanced at me in the rearview mirror. I couldn't explain it with a gun to my temple. I could put it in a pen to paper. But something about that movement made my ears ring with heat. "Like it."

"You said that." I pointed out somewhat unkindly as I was growing hostile towards myself for being weak over a single glance.

"That's all." His head shook softly then dipped to rest on fisted knuckles. I kicked myself inwardly for reacting to that as well. "You don't...do that."

"I am doing lots of things I don't usually do." I sneered angrily, thumping my forehead against the cool surface of the window.

"Mad?"

"Very."

"Come." He gestured for me to sit at his side which I promptly refused. "Come."

I gurgled air while unbuckling, squeezing between the two chairs and flopping into the leathery richness of the passenger side. After I righted myself he laughed, capturing my hand and kissing the knuckles. "Love...you."

Yeah, yeah.

"Will you tell me where we're going?" I asked in lieu of saying it back. He noticed, as he always notices, but ignored it.

"Can't say. Not safe." His grasp on my hand tightened before he dropped it, "Tell you when get there, Wife."

"You're annoying." I muttered ignoring the tendrils that pet name gave me. "I hope you know that."

"I know lots of things." He smirked at something unsaid and I refrained from asking. "Say, could you love me one day?"

His voice was rough and spaced out so far it was hard to put the pieces together quickly. When I did the inches between us became wildly uncomfortable, I nearly squeezed into the door to put more. When his lips pressed together I felt awful but didn't pity him enough to lie.

"I wish..." I cut myself off. There was no reason to say that or even care to. He looked at me. Like really, truly, looked at me like I mattered to him. It was so unfair.

"I wish-"

"I want-"

We spoke at the same time and he nodded so that I may go first. It was hard to work up the courage to try again, and so I let him go first.

He chuckled lightly, turning off the freeway and onto a highway with tons of semi-trucks. "I want your comfort." My hands tucked back in my legs as I listened. "I want you happy... Uh, I want..." He sighed heavily scratching his neck, "Don't know but I want... it."

My lips quirked and he seemed stunned by the movement, looking as though I grew another head before blush crept into his ears. "You are hopeless." I pinched his side and he grunted in pain. "Oh! I am so sorry! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot!"

"Okay." He hissed out with a curt nod, "It okay."

"I am so sorry, Jamie. Truly I am." I bit my lip as he assured me again that it was okay. My back melted into the seat with guilt heavy on my shoulders.

"It fine, I'm fine." He nudged me and the contact felt nice. "Say." He urged and I sifted around to figure out what he meant.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." I shook my head and he snorted watching me with a lazy smile.

I jerked my gaze away and took calming breaths to get all these weird things out of my head. It must be a trauma response. What is it called? Stock home syndrome?

"I wish that you weren't terrible." I blurted with as much kindness as I could muster. He flinched, looking away but I needed to finally say this so that I may move on.

"I really liked you, when I saw you at that gas station." I all but whispered and his shoulders eased up some. "You were odd but in a good way, if that makes sense? I don't know, any way, I thought you were so handsome and you smelled really nice, and the way you looked at me gave me shivers all over."

I smoothed out my shirt and tucked stray hair behind my ears. "My friend, her name was Lila, she was begging me to get your number or flirt with you and I really wanted to but I was worried I'd gross you out or send you fleeing." I barked laughter that broke off quietly.

"We all watched you, twirling our hair and whispering compliments while you were working on Darren's shit rental." His lips quirked and my breath grew shaky so suddenly. When he looked at me I flitted my gaze away. "Then this crazy killer guy started chasing us around and all I could think of was a wild possibility that you'd show up in shinning armor and punch him until he went down."

His jaw set and I drew in a long breath.

"You cannot imagine how I felt when I found out it was you." I settled my harsh gaze on him evenly and waited until he shifted to look away. "I wondered if maybe I had asked you out if it would've been different, or if maybe I made you mad some other way and that's why you were doing all of it. A thousand different possibilities and yet there was no answer. Why did you do that?"

His lips parted and closed once, twice, six times. "You won't like...answer."

"Tell me anyways and do not lie. That is all I ask." Tears blurred my vision of him as he sniffled.

"Two," He started, straightening his back, then ran his hands from temple to end bringing my hair to his nose. "For fun." My jaw went slack with hurt and a rage I had never felt before in my life. I snatched my hair away and it seemed as though he already expected that. "Knew would kill you when you look at me. Wanted you."

My mind seemed to fuzz before everything went silent. The car, his breath and everything between drained out, leaving only my heartbeat to focus on.

"I was...angry." He sighed looking out my window and then to me. "Want to get even."

"Even with what?" My voice was not mine. It was raw, disgusted and something more.

"You." He grunted moving to touch my cheek but thought better of it halfway there. "Beautiful, kind... then angry."

"I wasn't angry at you?" I snapped out with so many emotions I could not pick one. He nodded and odd noises came from me as I thought it over and find what he was even saying.

From the moment he walked in I was a mess. What was he even saying...

There.

When Kaleb had pissed me off and I yanked the bags from Jamie.

That's when.

My jaw went slack all over again.

"Oh."

He nodded, "The black one, when kill, change mind. Wanted to keep you." Jasmine. "You say beautiful. Then I hope. I say 'She only one who thinks that. Might be only chance for me.' So take what isn't mine."

"I can guarantee you, I am not the only one in the world who would think you're pretty before you start hacking up their family."

"Surprised." He muttered fiddling idly with the stick between us. "I want family, love, home. Other have made it for them, why not me?" I began shaking like a cold had washed over me while he set out my future so easily. "You and me."

"There will never come a day where I am your family, Jamie." I seethed quietly, as if I hadn't said it at all. "You are... I don't even know the word, but you are not my family."

"I know." He spoke softly looking but not seeing at all. "Don't like but know."

I turned away from him, sinking into the seat with disgust churning my belly. "Why could you possibly want-" I cut myself off breathing hard enough to heat the car myself. "Never mind."

We fell in silence, the only sound is his infernal tapping and my ragged breath as I metabolized what was just said to me so casually. My temples were burning and my jaw was set with a numbing sense of bitter humor.

"I want you to buy condoms or something." I sucked in breath, "Get a vasectomy or give me birth control because I will kill you and then myself if I fell pregnant."

"Thank for warning." He muttered widening his eyes with irritation before they narrowed once more.

I scoffed at him and his audacity. "You would force a baby on me?"

"Many of them." He replied curtly.

"I hate you." My head shook in disbelief, "I hate you so much."

"Okay." He sighed falling back into his seat, "You're still mine."

"What does that even mean?" I snapped turning on him completely damned the consequences. "Yours to fuck? Yours to bathe and dress? And then what? Huh? What comes after that? You don't buy me things I want, you don't listen to me, you don't focus on anything for more than two seconds, you can't even talk, Jamie."

His grip turned white on the steering wheel. "Stop."

"Excuse me, are you angry?" I scoffed quietly, sniffing while trying to reel my emotions in. "Interesting how that works. I'm angry and the world keeps going, you're angry and I'm supposed to shut the fuck up and open my legs. Super cool."

"I don't." He glared at me with flared nostrils, "I never."

"You have done it every day since forcing me into marriage." I corrected with a glare of mine own. "Then you up and disappeared for a month and a half leaving me to starve and freeze when I wasn't."

His gaze softened and that pissed me off even more. "I'm...sorry."

"You can't apologize your way out of abandoning me, I don't care that you were dying." I added because I knew he'd bring it up.

A smile touched his lips and I frowned. "Other ways...instead."

"I will crush your balls in my hands if you say another stupid thing like that again." I growled.

He lazily shrugged one shoulder, his smile growing even as he sought to contain it.

"You would like that you absolute freak." I sucked my tongue and faced the window.

"Won't." He grunted and sighed working to say more. "Leave. Again."

"That is not the soothing sentiment you think it is." My hands stretched and closed. "And if you did do not expect me to be there, crying and waiting for you, a second time."