I Was 45

I Was Forty Five When She Started

Copyright Catcher78 all rights reserved

Author's notes: This is my story, a true story and it may not be copied, sampled, published on another site without my expressed written permission.

There are aspects of cheating, non-consent, interracial sex. Lastly, there is also discussion of suicide. If you are in that space, talk to someone, there is a suicide hotline, nobody else in your head is worth that.

I'm Teddy Benedict and as I write this some ten years later, technically I'm still married, but I've not seen Lilly in nine years, except at our daughter's wedding.

We were married when we were very young she was almost nineteen and I'd just turned twenty. There was a war going on, isn't there always? I was able to get the GI-Bill education program and get an undergrad degree in Economics and a minor in Slavic Literature at the University of Washington and an MBA from Seattle University (my employer helped with that) specializing in finance. In my job I used derivatives to hedge interest rate risk as well as gaps in M&A timing. I was making okay money, but it got much better after a bit, I was building for our future.

Lilly was working for an offshoot program between the Washington State Department of Education and the Seattle school district called ESD-121. I was just getting started working for this huge savings bank that subsequently failed in the so called great recession, but I was long gone then, sorry I haven't really thought about this in a while.

So I was still in the active Navy Reserves and did my two week summer drill as well as the weekend stuff at NAS Sandpoint which is/was located on the Western Shore of Lake Washington. I did depo level maintenance on electronic analog computers that fit into the avionics bay of both Lockheed P-3 Orion antisubmarine platforms based at NAS Whidbey Island as well as well as P2V Neptunes.

The Orion was a scary good plane, capable of approaching six hundred mph in a dive. The Neptune was just about dead in it's career but kind of cool. Two piston engines and two jets.

Anyway I was doing my two weeks at Sand Point and Lilly was working in an old elementary school that was closed just south of the Northgate shopping mall off of fifteenth Northeast on a side street. So I thought it would be a good idea to drop in as it was close to closing time and maybe get something to eat.

I was an E-5 Aviation Electronics Technician second class and was wearing utilities (working uniform) which was a blue pullover cotton shirt with two pockets and my crow displayed on my left arm. Darker blue pants and blackened half boots with steel toes and rubber soles to protect me from electrical shocks.

I was six foot one and weighed two twenty five had played baseball briefly at the U-dub, before my lottery number was too low and I enlisted. I was driving an extended bed Dodge pickup with a 318 V8, with three on the tree, shitty rig with enormous play in the steering wheel.

So I parked outside the school across the street in front of an old house and walked down towards the school entrance. I walked in and all the doors on the ground floor were locked. There was a staircase leading upstairs, so I walked up to the top and there was this door and I opened it.

It was like a vestibule with a closed in area for visitors. Nobody was there but I could hear two women talking and laughing and then two very deep voices. There was one of those bell things you ring for service and I rang it.

Nobody came. I rang it again. Nothing. Giggles continued.

So I yelled, "Hey!"

This tall black guy emerged, slid across the counter and was four inches away from me and said, "What the fuck you want white boy?"

"I'm Lilly's husband."

He stepped back with his hands up, palms out to placate me. I followed him and said, "Come on Slim, let's take a walk, " I'd boxed in smokers in the Navy and beat a guy named James Broder, you could look him up, having grown up and had the shit beat out of me by my brothers and dad, I didn't mind getting hit.

Just then Lilly came rushing out and her face was flushed and yelled at me. Me. She yelled at me. I don't remember the words. I'd had women scream shit at me, my mom and teachers. I looked at her and turned around and walked out the door and down the stairs and out to my truck. Fired it up and went home.

Home was a duplex, top down, we were underneath. We.

I took a shower and laid my work clothes across a chair in the spare bedroom. I put on some jeans and a plain tee shirt with some runners.

I climbed up the stairs and got in the truck and left going to a tavern down on Elliot Avenue called Fool's Gold. There was one of my friends there. He was half Icelandic and half Sicilian. Thor Genosini was his name. Big, tall, rangy guy who'd had a relationship with my ex-girlfriend, pre-Lilly. By the time he hooked up with her, she'd fucked half the high school we attended.

That was long over, he'd married another friend of Lilly's named Sue. He saw me and bought me a Lucky draft, what I was drinking then.

We shook hands, the Mariners were getting the shit kicked out of them and we watched for a while. Then he said, "Where's Lilly?"

I shrugged and killed my beer and got the bartenders attention and twirled my fingers and pretended he had not asked me the question. I really liked Lucky drafts back then and we drank a lot that night. About one o'clock an hour from closing time he said, "Pretty bad huh?"

I should have been fucked up, but the anger in me was palpable. I let out a sigh. "I think I interrupted her getting fucked by two black guys at her office when I went by her office. She got pissed at me. So I left and went home and showered and came here."

"Do you know if she's said anything to Sue about it?"

He said, "They have been talking a lot recently, more than normal and giggling. Not that it means anything."

I said, "Well it is interesting that I've not been around when those conversations were going on. Don't ask. Please."

I drove that shit pickup slowly up our street and her car was there. I went inside, after parking the rig and quietly grabbed my shit and stole her sandwich for work and left.

I drove to Sand Point and parked on the street, just outside the gate and tried to sleep in the cab. My mom had been dead since I was sixteen. As a kid she told me two things. The first one was don't waste a second on someone that's not worthy of your time and the second one was to always trust yourself and what your heart was telling you.

I absolutely worshipped Lilly. Everything about her, until yesterday I had no doubts. I got about three hours of sleep and went through the gate at six thirty. There was a shower off our shop, I took a shower, put my shit on and went to the galley and ate breakfast with a lot of coffee.

The work was pretty straight up. Unless a case was broken or one of the titanium fittings, I chased wires with an ohm meter and either replaced the wire or put in a new tube. Only tubes then.

Her lunch that I stole was a pastrami and Swiss on rye. We never ever, would buy pastrami or rye, so somebody bought her this as she was cheap as all get out. In my gut I knew she had been fucking that guy.

I had just finished undergrad school with my economics degree, before I started grad school at night at Seattle University. I knew for the first time in my adult life I had a complicated choice.

If I left the marriage, there was only one member of my immediate family and he was a dick. An older brother, much older. If I asked him if it was morning, he'd say, 'it's midnight.' I had a seventy seven year old grandmother, who according to family lore was a floozy in her day.

I had a job that I was learning a lot from a brilliant man that I grossed twelve hundred fifty dollars a month and a 1985 Dodge pickup. I went to week day mass at St. Anne's on Queen Anne Hill. I had not been there in years. When I was thirteen, my life was bad, I had not thought of this in years, but my parents were both cheating on each other, openly, my dad called me the mistake, my next older brother called me oopsie. Lots of fighting.

In my bedroom there was a curtain frame for blinds that did not function with the nylon things you pull on to raise the whole blinds up and down. I wrapped them around my neck and sat on the top of the headboard with my feet dangling.

I let myself fall forward hoping it would all go away. The frame ripped out of the wall as I lay on my face on the bed. My neck was cut and bleeding.

My ears were roaring and then they were not. The fight was still going on. I got all the chord off my neck and carried the six foot long frame into by brother's room and into this huge walk in closet that had been a bathroom and hid it.

I got a rag and wiped off the plaster on the wall above the windows where the screws pulled loose. I don't recollect if it was ever noticed and they were both dead in a few years anyway.

That day I went up to St. Anne's and talked to the nun who was the head of the convent as I talked to her off and on through high school. She told me that what I tried to do was a mortal sin and gave me a Rosary and a little book of prayers to say using the Rosary to count.

When they died, the thing that I remembered is the absolute certitude I would never, ever hear their voice again. Today was like that as I sat in the pew waiting for the Mass to start. I wanted to hear somebody tell me what mattered, could I go on alone again, without Lilly, without anyone in the universe.

The sounds I heard were people coming in and sitting down and the huge doors quietly closing. I wondered if they heard something, someone. I swiveled around in my chair. I saw older women kneeling on the prayer kneel-down, their Rosary in their hands and their lips silently moving. A business man with his head leaning on the pew in front of him.

Nobody was happy. Did happy people go to Mass? I thought that might be a Sunday thing with all their kids. I realized I did not know shit and I had nobody to ask who would answer me.

I thought some more about Lilly and how I really did not know her. Apparently Lilly had spotted my ugly pick up truck and was now in the pew next to me. She was hugging my arm and crying. I was really confused.

I was thinking of suicide and being alone and then there she was. She said, "We have to talk."

I thought, 'hoo boy, here it comes.'

I walked behind her out of the pew, church and onto the sidewalk. She turned around and said, "Where have you been?"

I said, "I have one more week at Sand Point," I knew I was deflecting. She was the cheater not me.

"Where have you been sleeping, "she asked.

"In my truck I parked outside the gate."

"Why didn't you come home, " thrusting at me with words like we were fencing, it was time to parry and fight back.

"You chose him, not me."

"What, no I didn't, what are you talking about, " back pedaling away from me, my eyes had registered something in my brain that found it's way to my lips as I went to stab her in the heart.

"Your blouse was buttoned wrong and your wedding rings were off."

She was mortally wounded now, "Nothing happened he just kissed me."

"Today maybe and it was not the first time was it?"

Her chin fell on her chest and she did not answer. She raised her face to me and said, "No it wasn't I'm sorry, but it's always been kissing."

I knew she was lying, but I could not imagine being alone without her.

I said, "Why? I love you. What did I do wrong?"

She said, "It was just fun. It didn't mean anything. Let's go home, I'll follow you."

There were a lot of other questions I could have asked but didn't because the answers I would not have liked, I knew even then.

Time went on, we bought a home in West Seattle and over the next eight years we had four children, Tom, Jan, Ann and Lainey. Lilly was an incredible mom, our house was spotless, she volunteered at Holy Rosary and taught pre-school after Lainey was in the first grade

When we got married Lilly was five foot seven and weighed one hundred and thirty pounds. When Lainey was in the first grade Lilly weighed one hundred and eighty pounds, which was a wild guess on my part, it might have been more. When the kids would finally go to sleep upstairs, we would go to our bedroom on the ground floor and she would assume the position on all fours, well mostly it was on her knees and her face was buried in a pillow.

I'd eat her ass from behind, reaching through to play with her clit and it did not take long for her to get off, the second time with my fingers deep in her ass, she'd shriek her joy. Then I'd fuck her hard. I could not look at her ass, when I'd slam into her.

Her fat ass looked like waves on the ocean and it made my balls boil. I thought about Ted Williams hitting against Bob Feller or Bob Gibson against the Yankees. It was very important to me for her to cum from me fucking her and it worked.

Lainey was a freshman at St. Martins a Jesuit college down in Lacy, Washington. Tom got a scholarship to Virginia Military Institute and was doing summer camp and would soon be a Lieutenant in the Army. Jan married a guy, he was a doctor for crying out loud, ten years older than her and they lived outside Detroit, Michigan in Grosse Point Woods, rich as fuck, he was a pediatric surgeon. They had twins before Jan was twenty, three more kids by the time she was twenty five. Seeing them, he was totally wrapped around her finger and she loved him and their kids.

Anne went to Holy Names on Capitol Hill and fell in love with one of the married teachers, who divorced her husband and they moved to Spokane where Anne's wife's parents lived.

Lilly had got a job working for the Seattle school district when Lainey was a sophomore in high school. I was worried about her because she weighed well over two hundred pounds now. We were still active at Church. She took me out for my forty fifth birthday to this incredible steak house in downtown Seattle called El Guacho.

It's on Western Avenue, just up the street from Pier 70. Lilly was wearing a classic little black dress. It must have been tailor made as Lilly was over three hundred pounds now, she was still beautiful, with more chins than Taiwan had. We had appetizers, lamb lollipops, calamari, bread. I stopped eating because I'd ordered my favorite which was a ten ounce baseball cut top sirloin. Lilly finished my appetizers for me. She ordered an eighteen ounce bone in ribeye. She had sides of Yukon gold mashed potatoes and mac 'n cheese. She ordered two bread puddings.

The bell boy brought my new Yukon around. I had specialty work done which moved her seat back. I had to shove her into her seat pushing her giant, fat ass.

Her seat belt and harness were custom ordered. We drove home.

Since it was my birthday, she asked me, "Teddy trust me?"

I said, "I love you Lilly of course."

"Handcuffs and blindfold okay, it's your birthday after all, "she asked me.

"Okay, baby."

She had this black silk scarf in her dresser drawer and tied it around my eyes, the knot behind my head. The hand cuffs were on my wrists, which she used something to tie to the headboard. While this was happening another set of hands wound a rope around my ankles. Strong hands.

She was next to my ear and whispered, "Teddy I do love you and I tried so hard to forget Tony. The kids are gone, so I'm not embarrassing you. I have been very discrete. I've been working for Tony for almost four years now, lunches, hotels in Tacoma when you travel. Tony's home of course."

So I lay there thinking, listening to Lilly babble about the dick of her life, I had to ask him a question. "Tony where do you get your pastrami and Swiss on rye these days, "one guy to another.

There was a pause, "Dingfelder's Jewish deli on East Pine."

Nobody said anything at first. I said, "What's Zandra up to these days, " Zandra was the other woman who was in the old elementary school fucking Slim and some other guy as was Lilly.

There was a deep sigh. "We were married for twenty two years she passed a year ago, cancer we have six kids."

I said, "Sorry for your loss, " this was getting weird, what was I supposed to say.

Lilly felt a change in the force and I heard her open her chest of drawers again. Then she pinched my nose shut and I immediately opened my mouth, I'm not a mouth breather after all and she stuffed her size sixty panties into my mouth. The dialog was over it seems.

I felt them climb onto our queen size bed and the sounds of kissing an oral sex ensued. I now was certain of the events some twenty three years ago. They started fucking, apparently she craved how big his dick made her feel she said some shit about how much bigger he was than me and called me a cucky and other shit.

Apparently she thought or was trying to convince me that I would get into what was going on. I had watched porn when I visited clients I knew about cuckold. I was not into somebody fucking my wife.

I had clients in Canada and all over the United States. I was part of the Turn Around association. I fixed businesses and small banks, mostly for sale so that investors would get some portion of their money back. I had a process and if I stuck to it I'd been successful some 87% percent of the time.

For tax reasons, we had put our house into a trust and she had signed off on it. There was a simple post nuptial as part of the trust terms and conditions and infidelity triggered all the money going to me, regardless of divorce. They'd been going on at this for a long time now. I wondered if she'd been fucking other non-black dicks. Paternity test was in order for that. I wonder if they knew something was going on? I was very close to all of them, or so I thought. No hurry on that.

After that, the biggest problem is I had to piss so bad. He must have been on Viagra or Sea-something super dick no matter what. Finally I started bouncing up and down on the mattress and moaning into her vintage Charles Barkley shorts. They stopped.

She pulled the gigantic shorts out of my mouth.

I burst out, "Untie me I have to take a dump and piss. Honestly, Chubbs, I don't give a shit about you fucking him, I have a business trip that starts tomorrow and I need to get my clothes and my laptop and get a hotel by SeaTac."

Tony said, "Cut him loose, Lills he's not into this at all. This was a mistake."

After a minute, he unwound my feet, then I heard murmurs and he unlocked the hand cuffs. I jumped up and he jumped back and I ran into the bathroom, locked the door, turned on the fan and did what I said I was going to do. I took a shower and left the clothes on the floor, I never wanted to wear them again. I came out of the bathroom and pulled my underwear drawer open and got everything out, all my casual pants and tee shirts, socks, you name it. I had two old fashioned Valpak carry ons and a soft sided bag and got everything in one place or another. I had some sweats and an old Husky sweatshirt and some runners.

I picked the shit up and went down the hall to my home office. I had three laptops and got those packed up and in two trips carried them all out onto the porch. I found my fob and unlocked the back door and put all the shit in there. Closed the door and slowly walked inside. I went into the kitchen and found some cooking oil and used it to get my cheap ring off and I left it next to the sink.

I walked out into the living room and said, "Hey Lilly, I need to talk to you for a second."

She walked into the room with no clothes on. I put up my hand as if to halt her progress and said, "Jesus Christ, put a robe on, "disgust running across my face.

She waddled out of the room sniffling. After five minutes both of them returned. He was in his mid-fifties and she looked horrible, I'm not fat shaming, but I had loved her, but the revelation that she had been fucking him all of our marriage had eliminated my love for her quicker than a marshmallow is eviscerated after it falls from a stick into the campfire.