I am a pretty good guy. I implore you all to believe me when I say that. But I was pushed to a point where I couldn't help but do it. Today, I am at a juncture where I must tell someone about it, and hope that someone understands me and who I am...
*
It is quite unbelievable to me today that someone I thought would become a very close friend in the future, turned out to be what she is today. I could have sworn at the beginning of our friendship that we would be thick as thieves.
Her name was Hannah, and I have to admit, she was a little on the cunning side from the start, yet she was kind and adventurous. Perhaps that's what attracted me, and we became friends on the very first day of our undergraduate college. Along with her, I made other friends as well, and slowly we became a group. That was the beginning of all the issues of my life.
People can be deceiving and she (and the others as well) were no different. The mind games and nagging, taunting and back-bitching irritated me to no end. Gradually I was distancing myself from this crap, but remained a part of the group. Perhaps this was unacceptable to them, but it was definitely unacceptable to Hannah. That bitch started playing the games that led me to do what I did.
It didn't take long for her fucking games to virtually remove me from the group. My friends, in easy terms, had turned their backs on me for that fucking cunt. And it is difficult for me to admit this, but now that I am reminiscing the events, I might as well be honest about everything, I was a wuss for I couldn't do anything about it.
October was drawing closer, which meant Ashme's birthday was not far. Last year I had wished her at midnight with a cake even when the others had decided not to join me though we had planned. This year, though, there was doubt in my mind if I would go to her house to wish her.
The day before her birthday was here, and I had less than ten hours to decide if I wanted to go or not. But either ego, self respect or pride stopped me. I did not communicate with anyone else whether or not there was a plan to go to her house at midnight, simply assumed that like last year they wouldn't go either. I was so wrong.
Every single one of my 'friends' from the group went to her house without me and did not care to even ask me if I wanted to join them. I, like a fool who had no clue, wished her at midnight on a call, and was glad when there was no sound coming from around her. I got a little satisfaction from this because I thought without me, she had no one caring enough to go to her house to wish her. But my 'friends' were all there, just keeping quiet so that I do not get a whiff of their presence.
They stooped to the level of going to her birthday party where I was not even invited, without even telling me of any such thing happening! My source of such information was snapchat, where, after I saw the story of one person, I was blocked from seeing any further stories from his account as well as those present at the party.
It really enraged me so much that my right hand started twitching, and there was an expression on my face which I saw in the mirror when I went to wash my face to cool myself. That expression was terrifying, and the darkness which was probably suppressed was out for the world to see. And to be honest, I revelled in that state.
Yet I tried to cool down. Tried watching movies and shows on the net, listen to some music, watch videos, but nothing cooled me down. A thought kept knocking at the back of my mind, and I kept shutting it out, because I had a feeling it was going to cause problems for me when I am in such a mood.
But I lost, and the darkness took over. Now, whatever happened was not in control of my consciousness, and simply happened, while I did it.
It was about 3 in the morning, which meant the party was over by now and they would be on their way back home. I got into my car and drove to her house. As I parked the car, I saw a taxi coming from behind. I waited inside the car to see who it was in the taxi. As it passed by me, I saw Hannah. I was enraged already, but to see her this close to me, enraged me further.
It took her a while to pay the driver, and the driver seemed to be in a rush as he sped off as soon as Hannah got off the car.
The street lighting had almost been absent since eternity, and no one seemed to care to have it fixed. So when I got off the car, and ran towards her on tip toes without closing the door of the car, she couldn't locate me when she turned around to see if someone was there. It helped that she was looking the wrong side, and she was obviously drunk.
As soon as I reached her, I put my right hand across her mouth and locked her head with my left hand. As I held her from behind, I kicked the back of her right knee when she tried to wriggle out of the hold. She stumbled, but I held her with the hold. She bit my hand and so managed to free herself. She turned to look at me, and it must have been only a spilt second of her laying eyes on me when I slapped her across the face. I reckon she hit her head on the ground or my slap was stronger than I expected and intended it to be for she passed out.
I picked her and placed her at the back of my car and quickly drove to my house. I placed her on my bed, and started procuring the things I needed. A pair of scissors, knife, rope I use as a clothesline, eye cover, couple of candles, my box of cigarettes and lighter and finally the flogger and cane that Hannah and others had gifted me as a prank gift on my birthday.
I kept the knife in the refrigerator. I went on to cut the rope into three equal parts. Then I cut Hannah's clothes. That was easy, for she had worn a skirt and a tight t-shirt (which, I reckoned at the time, could have exploded around her big breasts by itself since it was at least two sizes smaller than her size). I cut her bra from front and back and her underwear too. I took a whiff of her panties before throwing them away. This bitch had peed a bit. I tied her hand at her back and then tied her legs from the knee and ankle. Then I went to get the knife from the refrigerator.
I looked at her one last time with any amount of sympathy, as she lay there naked and vulnerable. Then I woke her up.
A couple of splashes of cold water on her face woke her up. Her first look upon waking was that of terror. Then reality hit her, and she looked at me like I was some kind rubbish. She must have tried to move her arms, for she realized her situation. She shook across the bed trying to break free of the ties, but to no avail.
"What the fuck is this, asshole! Who the fuck do you think you are", she shouted.
I simply smiled as she continued her rants.
"I'll fucking kill you! Just let me out". She was surely stupid if she thought such words were going to make me let her go.
I waited for a bit, then slapped her across her face.
"Shut up and stop moving", I said calmly. She continued shouting.
I slapped her once again, then waited for a few seconds while I stared at her, then slapped her again.
"Shut up", I shouted. "Or else I'll kill you", and to prove that I really had the power to do that (unlike her), I moved the knife's cold side over her body and nipples. She shivered, in both fear and tension but stopped moving and did not make any noise.
"Look! Someone's nipples love the attention. Perhaps it would like a more intimate attention", I laughed as I motioned the knife in a way to suggest I was going to cut her erect left nipple. I did not have any intention to, but had she said something that angered me, I swear I would have.
"No! NO! Please, why are you doing this?" She cried.
Ferociously, I punched the bed very close to her head. "Why! You have the fucking audacity to ask me why! You mother fucking bitch, I swear I will burn you, cut you! You cunt!"
She wept loudly now, and I had no mercy for her. I had nothing but hatred for this woman right now and all I wanted to do was to punish her. I couldn't listen to the cries, they irritated me.
"Don't you fucking make noise!" I said as I slapped her thrice. "Do you fucking understand! Or else I swear to God I'll chop your nipples off!"
She controlled her crying. Now she wept without making much noise, and I liked that.
"Good girl."
I didn't want to blatantly tell her, but I had started to think that perhaps it is necessary to tell her, to make her understand why I had become this monster.
"You want to know why! I'll tell you, you bitch." I had to, so I slapped her once again at this point. "Your petty games, your dramas, they bore me. They have also ruined me and my college life. Is this how you treat your very first friend in this college! IS IT!" A sudden surge in rage made me tightly hold her jaw. "Consider this mercy that you're still alive. And if you want to walk away alive, you better do whatever I say, or else I will put this knife in your goddamn pussy and slice it" To show her how that might just feel, I moved the side of the knife over her inner thighs and touched her genitalia.
"PLEASE! Oh please!" She cried, and it made me laugh. "Please don't do this. I'm sorry, I really am" Her weeping, to me, was an act and nothing more. And this wasn't the time for acts. I took the flogger and began to strike on her breasts and inner thighs. I didn't care for her cures anymore, all I cared about now was the suffering.
Suddenly, I stopped and dropped the flogger on the floor. I moved quickly and pinched her nipples. A few seconds later, I pulled them. What started as a cry had morphed into a moan, and she seemed to somehow enjoy this.
"You like this?" I asked, honestly perplexed.
I did not receive an answer so I held her jaw tightly before repeating my question. "So you fucking like this, bitch?"
"No, no. I'm scared. Please, just let me go. I won't tell anyone. I'll apologize to you in front of everyone. I swear. I swear. Please, just let me go."
Her false promises had no effect on me. "Oh you wouldn't tell anyone. So sweet of you. But you probably wouldn't be able to anyways. I'll either kill you or cut your tongue."
She started crying loudly once again. "No. NO. Please, no."
"Shut up! Did I not tell you to shut the fuck up, you cunt!" I slapped her a couple of times while shouting. She stopped sobbing loudly after a while. "You will speak only when I allow you to. You make a move any different from what I tell you, and I will kill you. Am I clear?" Not getting an immediate response, I shouted the question once again. I got a response when I raised my hand to strike.
"Ye-yes. Yes."
In retrospect, this was probably the point where my intentions as well as the course of the future changed.
She was right there, vulnerable and free to be used and abused by me. I could have done anything to her, anything that my mind could concoct. I knew at this point that I was getting hard on this. Nonetheless, it surprised me at what I demanded her to do first.
"You will address me as Master. Am I clear? "
She looked at me in a manner as if she knew exactly what the course of the night was going to be now.
"Yes... Yes, Master."
"Good girl. Now, I am going to cane you how many ever times I wish to and wherever I wish to, until I am satisfied. You will count after every strike, and you will apologize as well. This is your first step towards salvation."
"Yes, Master."
