*BOOM*
Thunder rumbled heavily across the sky with and ominous crash.
"Fuck." I muttered to myself under my breath. "How do I always end up in these situations?"
I was stranded on the side of a desolate New Brunswick highway, over 80 km in either direction from the nearest town or gas station. The series of unfortunate events that led to my predicament were a sickening combination of bad luck and stupidity. I decided in my mind that I would take fifty percent of the blame myself, and lump the other fifty squarely on my car.
Less than two hundred kilometers into my trip to Toronto, my car had suddenly died. Despite my care to top off the oil, fill the washer fluid, and ensure I had an extra can of gas in my trunk for emergencies, I was stuck. The inexplicable and sudden demise of my car was presaged only by a thick billow of black smoke billowing from under the hood as I drove, and as I pulled over to the side of the road, a sputtering cough as the engine seized. That part was the bad luck.
I'm not much of a handy-woman, and yet I leaped out of the car with visions of somehow fixing my car in mere moments, and heading on my way. As I closed the driver's side door, I felt a sudden surge of fear. Turning slowly, I quickly realized that fear was justified, as I stared at the dangling palm tree key chain, still hanging from the ignition. As my hand shot towards my pocket, I realized I was doubly screwed. My cell phone was locked in along with my keys. That was the stupidity.
With an ever-increasing sense of helplessness, I banged on my driver's side window in frustration until my hands were bruised. Overcome with a overwhelming feeling of defeat, I turned my back to the car and sagged down towards the ground to a sitting position.
"What now?" I murmured aloud.
My mind raced back to all the lessons and lectures I had received from my parents over the years about this very sort of situation. The world is a dangerous place for a young lady, they would ramble, you have to be careful! Plan A would have been to call a friend and wait in my car, doors locked until they arrived, and then call for a tow. Plan B would be to just wait in the car with the blinkers on until someone stopped, and through a crack in the window ask them to make a call or go for help. Unfortunately both plans were out, and I was quickly running out of options.
Standing up, I steeled my resolve and decided on my newly formulated Plan C, which also violated a set-in-stone rule laid out by my parents: Never Hitchhike.
"Not like I have a choice." I said to myself.
Not knowing when the next car would come by, I decided to start walking in the direction of the nearest gas station to find a phone. I sincerely hoped I wouldn't have to walk all the way, for several reasons. I had dressed for the unseasonably warm spring day, and was decked out in fashionable shorts, a white tube top, and flip flops. Although fine for a nice sunny drive, the way I was dressed was not suitable for a long hike, especially with the sun fast dropping towards the horizon. Surrounded by dark looming pine trees on either side of the road, I shivered slightly, foreshadowing the cool night air. My jacket was of course locked in my car with everything else of use.
Making matters worse was the violent spring storm that had suddenly sprung up, and which I had been trying to outrun. Having forgotten to check the weather before I left, I was surprised by the black clouds that began to follow me on my drive, and was now realizing how unpleasant they were about to become. I quickened my pace as much as my flip flops and the gravel shoulder of the highway would allow, and cursed my bad luck. I glanced over my shoulder every minute or so, scanning for traffic and noting the speed with which the dark clouds gained on me.
Within 15 minutes, my feet were already sore and beginning to blister as the tongs of my flip flops cut in between my toes, and the small rocks of the road's shoulder dug into my heels. As the black clouds and ominous thunder closed in, I grew desperate, hoping I wouldn't need to take shelter in the woods beside the highway, further limiting my chances of catching a car. Further adding to my stress level, the sun was sinking lower in the sky, and the temperature dropping.
I glanced over my shoulder and cried out loud with relief as headlights came into view over a distance hill. Oh please stop! I thought to myself. I looked down at my clothes, and realized in a small turn of good luck, the way I was dressed might actually help me find a ride. I noticed my tube top was sagging significantly from my walk, but chose not to pull it up, as the six inches of cleavage might actually help me flag down a vehicle. Lets just hope it's a guy. I thought. And not a serial killer.
As the headlights drew closer I realized it was a big rig 18-wheeler, and not a car. I bit my lip and extended my arm with my thumb pointing skywards. Thunder rumbled in the distance as the truck bore down on me. As I could not detect any change in his speed, I panicked, and began to wave both arms in an effort to flag him down. The situation was much closer to an emergency than a simple ride-share. I breathed a sigh of relief as he began to slow down, pulling past me and onto the shoulder of the divided highway. I hobbled along to reach the cab of his truck on the driver's side.
The window rolled down as I approached, revealing a heavyset and bearded driver who more or less epitomized a stereotypical long haul trucker. He seemed content to look me over before he spoke, his voice a gruff rasp. "I take it that was your car I passed back there on the side of the road?"
"It was." I replied nervously. "I don't suppose I could hitch a ride to the next gas station?"
He looked down the highway ahead of him and seemed to ponder my request deeply. "I wasn't planning to stop till I hit Quebec..." he muttered.
"I promise it will only be a few minutes out of your way!" I blurted, knowing it could be an hour before the next car came past.
He stared off down the road again, then turned his head to look me up and down once more. His gaze made me uncomfortable, and I tugged at my tube top, pulling it higher on my chest. Looking down, I realized that the cool breeze had my nipples standing obviously on end. I flushed with embarrassment.
"Tell you what," he finally said "spend 15 minutes in that sleeper cab with me, and I'll give you a ride as far as you like."
"What..." I stammered, as understanding of his meaning dawned on me. My flush of embarrassment was replaced by outrage. "Absolutely not!" I shouted.
"Fair enough." he replied, seeming not to care either way. "Enjoy your evening stroll."
With that, his window began to roll up. I stood, despondent, unwilling to debase myself by begging him to call me a tow truck. His engine roared and his truck slowly pulled away as I stood stationary on the side of the highway.
*CRACK*
Thunder shook the air around me just ahead of a the start of a torrential downpour. The rain was ice cold, and falling in buckets, drenching me to the bone instantly. I looked behind me in feeble hope for another set of lights, with the dawning realization that the elements might be my greatest enemy now. I eyed the dark and ominous woods across the ditch on the side of the road, then glanced ahead once more. I saw the same truck pulling off the side of the road again, and coming to a stop 300 meters down the road. There it sat, engine running, while I stood at a proverbial crossroads.
I looked at the woods, which promised little in the way of warmth or shelter, and even less chance of rescue. I glanced at the truck, and shuddered at the thought of the driver's unwashed manhood pressed against me. I grimaced as I began to trudge forward towards the truck, the squelching of my flip flops just barely audible over the sound of the rain.
This time, when I reached the driver's side of the cab, the trucker didn't roll down his window, but through the haze of rain I saw him gesture to the passenger side door. Cautiously, watching for movement, I circled around the front of his truck to the passenger side. He leaned across, and popped the door open for me, and I gingerly clambered up into the seat. I shivered with cold and fear, my arms crossed tightly around my ample chest and my thick thighs clamped tightly together.
"I thought you might change your mind." he chuckled. "A fine young lady like you has no business being out in this weather."