I went through my duties the next morning as usual, but all the while I was tormented by the thought that I would have to return to his lordship in a few short hours. As I dusted her ladyship’s empty room, the last duty I had before “attending” to his lordship, I wondered if the other servants knew of my fate. This questions was answered when I heard the housekeeper’s voice at the door.
“You’d best be going to his lordship now, Mary.”
I didn’t turn. I didn’t need to. I already knew she knew. I continued dusting the vanity and said in what I hoped was a nonchalant voice, “Am I the first he’s asked for again?”
“Yes, Mary, you are, and I don’t like it one bit. There’s nothing I can do about it, though. So you’d best just do as you’re told and not make too much of a fuss. Now, you get on your way, and I’ll finish up here,” the housekeeper said matter-of-factly.
I reluctantly headed for the door, and I could sense there was something more she wished to say. I paused before leaving to give her a chance to have her say.
“Mary, I know you’re a proud girl. I think that’s why he chose you. But don’t be too proud to ask for help if you need it. I’ve seen what he can do to a girl, and you may need bandages or salves before too long. Please, come to me, and I’ll help you as discreetly as I can.”
She returned to the dusting, and I closed the door. The hallway to his lordship’s bedroom was much too short. I felt as though I were walking to my own hanging. I tried to tell myself that yesterday hadn’t been so bad. He hadn’t done anything so awful. I could handle the humiliation and even the pain. But even as I tried to reason with myself, I knew it was a losing battle. It wasn’t just the humiliation, or just the pain, it was the combination. And I knew that yesterday had just been an introduction.
In my constrictive corset, my breath was labored as I knocked politely on his door. Again, there was no answer, so I entered after an appropriate interval.
This time I knew to check the shadows. He was not in the room. But I began to notice that there were some new pieces of furniture in the room. A long, low table sat in one corner of the room, while the opposite wall was taken up by two large slabs of wood in the shape of an X. Each point of the cross had a restraint on it. The cross was far from the window, but I could just make out something below the cross in the shadow of the room. I was just moving closer to examine it when I heard the door open behind me. I turned guiltily to face my tormentor.
“Do you see anything you like, Mary? I had some things added just for you.”
I stared at him in mute silence. Even though I hated him with a passion, some part of me still acknowledged his appeal. His long brown hair was down today, and it gave him an even more wild look. His piercing blue eyes were staring at me as if I were the main course.
“You can only guess at the purpose of my new additions, can’t you, Mary?” He seemed to like to address me by name.
“That’s true, my lord,” I muttered quietly.
He quickly advanced on me, and grabbed me by the back of my hair, pulling my head back so that I had no choice but to look at him.
“I have taught you to speak clearly, slut. Don’t make me regret the money I’ve spent on you. You will speak clearly and say what I tell you to say. Tell me that you understand,” he commanded.
