Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and all potential resemblances to real people and events is purely coincidental. This story and the characters in it are owned by me and can not be reposted or re-used without my consent under copyright law. All characters in this story are over 18 years old.
Ch. 3
Julian was feeling at a loss when it came to his older brother. After the ordeal on Thanksgiving night, Julian had decided to confront his brother in broad daylight about what had been going on. Unfortunately, this seemed a harder task than Julian had imagined.
Friday morning Brayden had already gone out to meet some friends from high school before Julian woke up, and he didn't return before dinner that night. Julian obviously couldn't confront his brother in front of their parents, so dinner was spent glaring in his brother's direction and avoiding conversation by only muttering one-word responses. If Brayden was aware of his little brother staring daggers at him from across the table, he made no move to show it.
That
was what annoyed Julian the most.
Julian felt as his entire world had flipped, not only did he have a turmoil of feelings and thoughts about his own sexuality and what his body's reaction to the things his brother had done to him, and the things he had been made to do to his brother, meant for him, he also couldn't discern the new dynamic in his relationship with his brother. Before, Brayden had been no more to Julian than his older brother, though they were never particularly close; they had grown up together and spent countless hours in each other's proximity, so it was always comfortable spending time together. Now, whenever Julian was in the same room as his brother, he was on edge, unsure of how to behave and what to do with himself, constantly aware of his brother's presence and unable to keep his mind from remembering the illicit acts they had engaged in.
Brayden on the other side, showed no signs of anything having changed. He laughed and joked at the dinner table, no change at all in how he interacted with Julian. When they both went for the potatoes at the same time, and their hands met over the serving spoon, Brayden paid it no mind. He just made a joke about great minds and continued serving himself. Julian on the other hand felt as though an electric current had shocked him at the point where their hands had met.
"Are you okay there, buddy?" Their father laughed when Julian's arm stayed in the same outstretched position, frozen on impact, reaching over the table towards the potatoes.
"Yeah, sure, sorry." Julian muttered, his father's word tearing him free. He quickly retracted his hand, folding it in his lap to avoid further contact.
"Didn't you want any more potatoes?" His mother asked with a gentle smile, reminding Julian why he had stretched over the table initially.
"Oh, eh, no, thank you." Julian responded, avoiding eye contact. "Changed my mind." He quickly added as he realized that his family was all looking at him with varying facial expressions, his mother concerned, his father amused. Brayden was just staring at him, a slight smile curling in the corner of his mouth.
After dinner Julian found Brayden lounging in the living room, watching TV with their father, a war movie playing.
"Brayden, can I talk to you for a minute?" Julian asked his brother, acutely aware of their father sitting just inches away on the other side of the couch.
"'bout what?" Brayden asked nonchalantly, eyes glued to the movie.
"Just some school stuff" Julian lied, irritated that his brother would even ask, as if it wasn't obvious what was troubling Julian.
"Yeah, okay, after the movie." Brayden brushed him off, eyes never leaving the screen.
"Why don't you sit down." Their father urged. "It's the holidays, you can think about school on Monday, you need a break."
"Yeah, sit down and relax little brother" Brayden chimed in, finally meeting Julian's eyes, a challenge on his face.
Julian knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with this tonight, so he declined the invitation and quickly retreated to his own room. The thought of being trapped between his father and brother's big frames on the couch for three-hour war movie was too much to bear.
That night Julian lay awake the entire night, waiting for his brother to sneak into his room like he had done the night before. Brayden never showed.
___
As Saturday morning rolled around Julian knew that today was his last chance to confront his brother. Brayden would be leaving to go back to college Sunday morning and then he wouldn't be returning until Christmas break.
Brayden on the other hand obviously didn't feel the need to communicate, a point he made clear by leaving the house with their father at the crack of dawn to go fishing, leaving Julian once again at home fuming with anger at his brother.
Julian had spent the afternoon watching reality shows with his mom, a nice break from his own thoughts, but she had left to go meet a friend for a glass of wine, so he was now left alone in the house, watching tv alone.
At 7:30pm Julian received a text from his friend Daniel, who was also home from college, and he was surprisingly inviting Julian to a party at his house. Daniel and Julian had been best friends and neighbors as kids, but during the year Julian lived abroad Daniel moved across town, this combined with the fact that Julian had been held back a year making them no longer in the same grade, had made them grow apart. They still ran in some of the same circles and would hang out from time to time when Daniel was home, so that wasn't the reason for Julian's surprise. The reason was that Daniel's parents were highly religious and did not condone alcohol or any other of "the devil's virtues" in their house.
Julian considered his options for a minute. He could stay here, alone, and perhaps he could force his brother into a conversation whenever he came home, or he could go to Daniel's party, get drunk and hopefully forget about the whole thing. Before Julian could talk himself out of it, he sent a text in the family group chat informing that he was going to Daniel's house to play videogames, before he grabbed his house key and cellphone and jumped on his bike, figuring the ride could sober him on the way home.