Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and all potential resemblances to real people and events is purely coincidental. This story and the characters in it are owned by me and can not be reposted or re-used without my consent under copyright law. All characters in this story are over 18 years old.
Ch. 3
Julian was feeling at a loss when it came to his older brother. After the ordeal on Thanksgiving night, Julian had decided to confront his brother in broad daylight about what had been going on. Unfortunately, this seemed a harder task than Julian had imagined.
Friday morning Brayden had already gone out to meet some friends from high school before Julian woke up, and he didn't return before dinner that night. Julian obviously couldn't confront his brother in front of their parents, so dinner was spent glaring in his brother's direction and avoiding conversation by only muttering one-word responses. If Brayden was aware of his little brother staring daggers at him from across the table, he made no move to show it.
That
was what annoyed Julian the most.
Julian felt as his entire world had flipped, not only did he have a turmoil of feelings and thoughts about his own sexuality and what his body's reaction to the things his brother had done to him, and the things he had been made to do to his brother, meant for him, he also couldn't discern the new dynamic in his relationship with his brother. Before, Brayden had been no more to Julian than his older brother, though they were never particularly close; they had grown up together and spent countless hours in each other's proximity, so it was always comfortable spending time together. Now, whenever Julian was in the same room as his brother, he was on edge, unsure of how to behave and what to do with himself, constantly aware of his brother's presence and unable to keep his mind from remembering the illicit acts they had engaged in.
Brayden on the other side, showed no signs of anything having changed. He laughed and joked at the dinner table, no change at all in how he interacted with Julian. When they both went for the potatoes at the same time, and their hands met over the serving spoon, Brayden paid it no mind. He just made a joke about great minds and continued serving himself. Julian on the other hand felt as though an electric current had shocked him at the point where their hands had met.
"Are you okay there, buddy?" Their father laughed when Julian's arm stayed in the same outstretched position, frozen on impact, reaching over the table towards the potatoes.
"Yeah, sure, sorry." Julian muttered, his father's word tearing him free. He quickly retracted his hand, folding it in his lap to avoid further contact.
"Didn't you want any more potatoes?" His mother asked with a gentle smile, reminding Julian why he had stretched over the table initially.
"Oh, eh, no, thank you." Julian responded, avoiding eye contact. "Changed my mind." He quickly added as he realized that his family was all looking at him with varying facial expressions, his mother concerned, his father amused. Brayden was just staring at him, a slight smile curling in the corner of his mouth.
After dinner Julian found Brayden lounging in the living room, watching TV with their father, a war movie playing.
"Brayden, can I talk to you for a minute?" Julian asked his brother, acutely aware of their father sitting just inches away on the other side of the couch.
"'bout what?" Brayden asked nonchalantly, eyes glued to the movie.
"Just some school stuff" Julian lied, irritated that his brother would even ask, as if it wasn't obvious what was troubling Julian.
"Yeah, okay, after the movie." Brayden brushed him off, eyes never leaving the screen.
"Why don't you sit down." Their father urged. "It's the holidays, you can think about school on Monday, you need a break."
"Yeah, sit down and relax little brother" Brayden chimed in, finally meeting Julian's eyes, a challenge on his face.
Julian knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with this tonight, so he declined the invitation and quickly retreated to his own room. The thought of being trapped between his father and brother's big frames on the couch for three-hour war movie was too much to bear.
That night Julian lay awake the entire night, waiting for his brother to sneak into his room like he had done the night before. Brayden never showed.
___
As Saturday morning rolled around Julian knew that today was his last chance to confront his brother. Brayden would be leaving to go back to college Sunday morning and then he wouldn't be returning until Christmas break.
Brayden on the other hand obviously didn't feel the need to communicate, a point he made clear by leaving the house with their father at the crack of dawn to go fishing, leaving Julian once again at home fuming with anger at his brother.
Julian had spent the afternoon watching reality shows with his mom, a nice break from his own thoughts, but she had left to go meet a friend for a glass of wine, so he was now left alone in the house, watching tv alone.
At 7:30pm Julian received a text from his friend Daniel, who was also home from college, and he was surprisingly inviting Julian to a party at his house. Daniel and Julian had been best friends and neighbors as kids, but during the year Julian lived abroad Daniel moved across town, this combined with the fact that Julian had been held back a year making them no longer in the same grade, had made them grow apart. They still ran in some of the same circles and would hang out from time to time when Daniel was home, so that wasn't the reason for Julian's surprise. The reason was that Daniel's parents were highly religious and did not condone alcohol or any other of "the devil's virtues" in their house.
Julian considered his options for a minute. He could stay here, alone, and perhaps he could force his brother into a conversation whenever he came home, or he could go to Daniel's party, get drunk and hopefully forget about the whole thing. Before Julian could talk himself out of it, he sent a text in the family group chat informing that he was going to Daniel's house to play videogames, before he grabbed his house key and cellphone and jumped on his bike, figuring the ride could sober him on the way home.
___
When Julian arrived at Daniel's house it became clear that the party would be no small affair. There were kids from school hanging around the yards in circles talking and drinking, even some college kids on the porch smoking and loud music was coming from the house. Julian left his bike by the front yard fence and made his way to the house.
As Julian stepped inside, he was hit with the volume of the music and the smell of alcohol, weed and BO. Julian had been at Daniel's house many times before, so it was no hard task finding the kitchen, where the drinks would inevitably be. In the kitchen Daniel was shot-gunning a beer, so he didn't spot Julian right away as he walked in.
Daniel had been a small kid like Julian when they were in school together, but in the last years he had hit a growth spurt, and now stood almost a head taller than Julian. This, combined with his brown curls, a spot on the college basketball team and a face with bone structure to die from, had made Daniel very popular in town, especially with the girls, who were always fawning over him. Despite this Daniel had never had a serious girlfriend, always joking that the basketball team was the only relationship he had time for. Julian suspected that his highly religious parents also played a role in the decision not to date.
"Julian!" Daniel yelled out as he finally spotted Julian in the doorway. "You made it!" he laughed, making it obvious that this beer wasn't his first. his eyes were red, and his cheeks flushed, and when he moved, he was slightly unsteady.
Daniel pulled Julian into a hug, slapping him on the back and proclaiming that 'it had been way too long since last'. Julian suddenly became acutely aware of Daniel's body pressed against his, and quickly pulled away making an excuse of wanting a beer. He stayed in the kitchen, chatting with Daniel and a few of the guys on the basketball team and drinking for a while, emptying three beers in no time. Then a big group of girls came into the kitchen, pulling all the guys, Julian included, into the Livingroom to dance.
After a few hours of drinking and dancing, Julian was drunk. His vision was swimming, and the room had grown hot and clammy from all the bodies filling it. Julian needed to pee, and upon seeing the long queue to the first-floor bathroom he decided to make his way upstairs where he knew of another bathroom. The queue of the upstairs bathroom was much shorter, and after only a few minutes it was his turn.
In the bathroom someone had left the window open, so the room was nice and cool compared to the rest of the house. After peeing and washing his hands Julian wasn't quite ready to go back out there yet. The alcohol in his bloodstream was making the room spin so he steadied himself on the sink and his eyes turned to the large mirror above it. The face in the mirror was his own, but it didn't look like it. Julian's blonde curls were a mess, his cheeks flushed from the drinking and dancing, but it was his eyes that gave the most away, red and unfocused from the alcohol, and deep dark circles from the lack of sleep. He looked like a mess, and worse, he felt like it. His thoughts once again drifted over to his brother, where he was and what he was doing. Was he thinking about him too, or had the development of their relationship only affected Julian this way? Why couldn't he get his brother out of his mind?
It didn't take long before the people outside the door grew impatient and started banging on the door for Julian to hurry up. Julian splashed some water on his face and ran his hands through his hair to tame it a bit before slipping out the door, smiling apologetically to the next people in line. Julian didn't feel like joining the party downstairs just yet, he wanted a moment of quiet, but he didn't want to go home just yet. Instead, he found the door to Daniel's bedroom. Half expecting it to be locked, Julian stumbled a bit when the door swung open as he tried the handle, but he quickly snuck inside not wanting anyone else to realize that the room was available.
As he closed the door quietly behind him, he leaned against it letting out a sigh, grateful to have found a respite from the loud music downstairs. It took Julian a moment to realize that he wasn't alone in the room, and when he saw Daniel sitting in a bean bag chair, joint in hand blowing smoke out the window, he almost jumped from surprise.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were in here. I'll just leave." Julian said and turned to leave.
"No, it's okay" Daniel said, taking a long hit from the joint. "Stay" he said and motions for Julian to come closer.
Julian made his way over to where Daniel was sitting by the window. Julian didn't want to sit on Daniel's bed, it felt like an invasion of privacy, so instead he slid down to the floor, leaning against the foot end of the bed. Daniel gave Julian a puzzled look, but he didn't say anything, he just leaned over and offered Julian the joint.
"No thanks" Julian said, the effects of the alcohol were enough. "I don't really smoke."
