When Eleanor walked into her dorm after her day of classes, all that was on her mind was a warm bath. She kicked off her shoes without untying them, set down her bag on the chair and started making her way to her bathroom. Most college students would only have a questionably-clean, communal shower to look forward to, but Eleanor had not only her own room, but her own attached single bathroom. Eleanor's room was just the kind of luxury one could expect at Kellogg University. She smiled to herself as she took a moment to look out the window as the russet leaves beneath her window shook gently in the breeze, the sunlight illuminating them like tiles in a mosaic.
Seven more months
, she thought to herself,
seven more months and I'm home free
.
After the hard day she'd had-Tuesday was her busiest day for classes and work-she found herself lost in a weary reverie now that her time at this college was coming to an end, and she could be reasonably sure that she was going to make it through her experience without any punishments. After all, her family had been concerned about her choice in university; that is, if one could aptly use the word "concern" to describe what was essentially an adult temper tantrum. It didn't matter. It was a full ride, and she was going. Eventually they relented anyway; perhaps they figured the stringent university would "keep her out of trouble", as the saying goes.
Even so, they couldn't have known what Eleanor would be forced to endure at all stages of the process: entry, matriculation, graduation. Perhaps if they had known they wouldn't have let her go at all. She'd had many choices her junior year of high school; even a couple of choices where her ride was fully paid--she didn't have to choose Kellogg. But the extravagant living conditions were the least of the perks offered by the university; five star dining at all the halls, state of the art libraries utilizing new and old techniques of library science with rare and highly sought-after pieces in their collection only accessible to students and staff, professors who were leaders in their chosen fields, an incredibly dedicated student body, beautiful campus, dedicated administration. It was too good to pass up, and Eleanor highly appreciated the best of whatever was on offer.
Back then, Eleanor was dazzled only by this specific university; she disregarded all others. She knew it would be worth the relentless and grueling interview process; the invasive questions, the gynecological, rectal, and oral examinations, the stress tests. Truthfully, Eleanor hadn't been willing to admit to herself during, or since, that those tests had taken their toll on her. Before they had occurred, she figured she'd grin and bear it and be done with it.
After all, she had nothing to fear; the rigor and intensity with which she had met her studies could not be divided and given to her social life. She had never had the opportunity to even date another person, much less have sex. Other students in the school may have been interested in her, and she may have entertained the fantasy of a crush every now and again, but never for long and never to the extent it could ever be reality. But those tests lived in her mind as an example of what could best be described as questionable--and at worst downright dangerous--decisions she was willing to make and allow to happen to her body to meet her goals. It made her fear that it had permanently opened some threshold in her that, while closed, had kept her "pure" all of these years. Still, it was exhausting work, the maintenance of her pure persona.
Tuesdays were particularly hard, she mused, because she had two classes in a row with Dr. Hendricks. Eleanor knew she was bisexual and she sometimes did have to avoid the other girls at the school to keep up her good behavior; but "bi" meant she definitely, more than she'd likely admit to herself, let her mind wander while she watched Dr. Hendricks walk with his long graceful legs and lecture in his soft but assured tenor, the cadence of his voice lyrical as he discussed British literature. He had a passion for the subject matter that was infectious and it helped Eleanor maintain one of the highest grades in the class-though it certainly helped she could rarely take her eyes off him. The confluence of these characteristics also made it so that he ended up her thesis advisor, and she knew this meant that they would be spending a lot more time together. This was not an unappealing prospect to Eleanor, and she knew that this was a precarious position, but she found she had trouble caring. She had made it this long, after all.
At the same time Eleanor remembered that she was still staring out her window, she realized she had started to get aroused by her thoughts. Her blush heating her cheeks, she ran her fingers through her golden hair to try to dispel the budding pleasure. There was nothing she could do about it anyway. She got up and walked over to her bathroom, taking off her sweatpants on the way. As she walked past a mirror on her closet door, she caught the glint of the chastity belt in her reflection. She didn't like to look at it, didn't like to remember it was there. Not like some of the girls. Some of the girls seemed to ironically feel aroused at the thought of the belts. Eleanor didn't understand this philosophy; didn't this just make it more difficult to wear them? Why come to Kellogg if you knew you'd have such a difficult time controlling yourself? Of course, Eleanor had long since grown beyond the concept of simply not masturbating, orgasming, or having sex as "controlling" yourself, and certainly let go of the idea that sexual denial equated to any moral purity. By now, she fully admitted that the philosophy of the university could not be merely explained by quaint old-fashioned values but rather violent misogyny.
When she was still in high school--really, just a kid--she had simply considered this a reasonable quirk from a university which just so happened to hold fast to outdated gender norms of "purity" for women. Ironically, now that she had received an excellent undergraduate education with about a year left to finish, she now saw the university's philosophy as, frankly, repugnant. As she removed her shirt in front of the bathroom vanity, she realized this wasn't exactly ironic because she knew that they frequently tested the girls to see if they'd "fall" or "stumble". Everyone knew this, it was all but said outright; pornographic images and data shown in world history classes to compare to the Kama Sutra,
Fanny Hill
as required text in British literature classes, commenting on phallic symbolism in ancient Roman architecture, the list goes on. She had even overheard people talking about how in their STEM classes some professors brought in a litany of sex toys and paraphernalia for their industrial design classes. Subtle, Kellogg University was not.
She took a look at her breasts in the mirror; they had never been perky but they had also maintained a pleasing buxomness, at least, to her own eyes. She again started to drift in her thoughts as she stared at her own reflection in the mirror. She thought it a little sad, as she held herself in front of the mirror, that no one had ever had the opportunity to hold the heaviness of her soft breasts in their hands, hadn't gotten to pinch her receptive nipples as she was now, rolling it between her (their...his? It thrilled her to think of it) fingers.
And she'd be lying to herself if she told herself that she wouldn't think of Dr. Hendricks' soft and sure hands stimulating her. Because, invariably, she would. Touching her anywhere he pleased. She had seen how he looked at her sometimes; there was reasonable doubt, but doubt was only doubt. This was fantasy. After all, they had had so much time alone together, discussing class and now her thesis, she felt he would be particularly responsive to her body and movements. She had studied him enough to have contemplated how his body might respond to her touch, what he might feel like. But all she could see was her own gaze in the mirror. Hungry, deliberate, almost methodical as her dark eyes clouded with pleasure. Her mouth parted slightly and a raspy breath flowed out, as she got lost in pleasuring herself. Oh, how incredible if he could see her like
this