It was a hot summer afternoon and Cheryl had invited some of us around for a bit of a pool party. It was just a bunch of friends, most of us in our late teens, me being the oldest at nearly twenty. Undoubtedly some of the people there were paired up but not in an overly conspicuous way. I knew Cheryl was currently between boyfriends and I was considering chancing my arm there.
The afternoon was proceeding as expected, the girls in their bikinis flirting with the boys who were generally wearing board shorts. The boys were also flirting righting back at the girls and a good time was being had by all.
In the middle of the afternoon I wandered into the house to get a drink. Following that I decided to wander down to the room we used as a change room to check my phone and seeing if I was missing any messages. Unlike some I don't take my phone everywhere I go. Also, unlike some, my phone has never fallen in a swimming pool.
I just sailed right up to our changing room and walked straight in. Why wouldn't I? All the others were outside. Walking through the door I stopped for a moment to consider what I knew of Cheryl's parents. Her father as far as I knew was dead, divorced, or disappeared. I'd probably have to get more details if I did start dating Cheryl or I might put my foot in it at just the wrong moment.
Susan, her mother, was very much in evidence. Susan must have been in her middle to late thirties but could easily pass for someone in her twenties. She was pretty, averagely intelligent, had a very nice figure which she kept in shape, blue eyes, and blonde hair. A natural blonde, too. I knew this for a fact as she was standing in front of me, stark, staring, naked, holding a bikini top in one hand. I also noticed that she neatly trimmed her blonde bush down to a cute little V shape.
It appeared that I stopped and stared for a moment too long as Susan had a few words to say.
"Close the fucking door, dipshit," she snarled at me.
"Oh, right," I said, continuing to look appreciatively at the lovely specimen of female pulchritude in front of me. I hastily closed the door, but remembered to press the little button on the handle that would prevent someone else opening it by accident. Really, Susan should have thought of that in the first place.
"I meant with you on the other fucking side, you little turd," Susan informed me.
I found myself taking exception to this. First, she hadn't said which side of the door she wanted me and, second, if I was a turd I was a big one. I mean, I was over six foot tall, big boned, and solid with muscle. I was at least a head taller than Susan so where did she get off calling me little?
"Then you should have said that," I replied politely, "and please don't swear. It's unbecoming for a lady."
"What the fuck?" she said, looking at me as if I was nuts.
I sighed. "I disapprove of ladies swearing. You may have noticed that I don't do it myself. I find myself able to communicate quite clearly without any scatological references. Please try to do the same or daddy smack."
The look on her face was a joy to behold. I was amazed that I could get her goat so easily. She glowered at me, and I could practically see the smoke rising from her ears.
"You can take your fucking likes and dislikes and get your fucking ass out of the fucking room," she said, enunciating fucking slowly and clearly each time she said it.
