The Harley Davidson Lawyer
Chapter 6: Get Me to the Chapel on Time
When my boyfriend finally returned from his long trip to the bathroom, he asked me to dance. I'd had too much to drink thanks to a couple of gentlemen at the bar, and I begged off, saying I was desperate to use the restroom. Matt informed me that the lines to the women's room were very long. He told me a waitress he knew had suggested using the employees' bathroom. He directed me to a door around the corner and told me to ignore the sign that read 'Employees Only.'
I stood up carefully to hide the damage to my shorts. I needn't have worried. Matt was more interested in watching my bare sweaty breasts jiggle. I was trying hard to look sober as I walked away, swaying my hips for his entertainment. I was soon around the corner and out of Matt's sight. Of course, I got numerous catcalls along the way from the drunken patrons eagerly awaiting my performance in the finale of the Daisy Dukes dance contest.
Ordinarily, I would have been annoyed by the off-color yells, but tonight I was celebrating. I had my first boyfriend, and he had made me a fantastic job offer over dinner. My usual shy demeanor had been replaced with a warm feeling of friendship and love for everyone. I attributed my happy feelings to my new boyfriend and too much tequila.
I knew that I was giving the crowd celebrating the end of the workweek every reason to make indecent comments. I had lost my muscle shirt during the dance contest and my breasts, which were too large for my tiny frame, were on full display. My ragged Daisy Dukes were stretched tight across my firm ass. When Brenda had volunteered to cut off the bottoms of my jeans, I had asked her to make them shorter than my competitors' outfits. As a result, the bottoms of my ass cheeks were exposed. Rips in the thin fabric suggested that I was going commando. The lack of underwear wasn't intentional. My boyfriend had ripped off the only panties I had brought with me when I invited him to my room.
I had a problem with my only remaining item of clothing. The zipper on my Daisy Dukes was stuck halfway up and barely covered the top of my slit. Luckily I had shaved, or I would have been exposing a forest of curly black pubic hair. I realized how serious the problem was as I walked away from my boyfriend. Without a button to fasten the waistband, my frayed shorts started slipping off my hips as if they were alive. I grabbed them just in time to prevent them from falling to my feet and tripping me.
I found walking difficult in my five-inch high wedge shoes since the floor was moving like the deck of a pirate ship riding the swells on the Caribbean. There were several giant squids in the water with the heads of leering men. Their long tentacles reached for my body. Many of the man squid beasts along my way succeeded in clutching my bare breasts or grabbing my exposed ass cheeks. I couldn't believe how wasted I was after a handful of tequila shots. My drunken state made it difficult to avoid the ravenous fiends.
I was almost to the shore, but I had to first slip between a pair of gigantic man squid. Fat mermaids rested on nearby rocks drinking beer and shouting insults. I was halfway between the beasts when I felt thick tentacles wrap around my thighs high on each leg. My shriek was swallowed up by the sounds of crashing waves that reminded me of a song I liked. The band's discordant attempts at country music drowned out my protests. Powerful tentacles seized my arms and pulled them straight out from my sweaty torso. Without my hand to hold them up, my shorts fell to the floor, leaving me naked.
One of the beasts' giant sucker-covered tentacles wrapped around my waist and probed my shaved mound. The fat tip plowed the length of my wet slit and crashed hard against my engorged clit. I screamed as the rough appendage rasped across my sensitive nub. Another pair of massive tentacles spread my bare ass cheeks. I shrieked as something hard probed my anus.
I screamed as the pressure increased. "Oh God, not my ass."
A man squid's beak pressed against my mouth and cut off my scream. I was terrified. I'd been paranoid about anyone touching my ass since my brother's best friend had whipped my butt with a cane for annoying him. Afterward, he'd teased me incessantly about my initials which unfortunately were 'ASS.' I felt relief when the fat tentacle that had been exploring my nether hole slipped further between my widespread thighs. The man squid laughed when he found the opening of my vagina.
I staggered under the beasts' vigorous assault and found myself consumed by overpowering lust. Maybe these fierce creatures would give me the orgasm I'd been denied all night. The disapproving curses of the mermaids terrified me, and I closed my eyes to avoid their threatening gaze. I squirmed helplessly in the firm grasp of the man squids as their fat tentacles probed my sensitive flesh. I shrieked as a fat rough tip pressed harder against the entrance to my wet vagina and drove inside. I twisted my hips and ground my hungry pussy on the invading digit. One of the beast's suckers found my clit and began rasping across my shaved mound. Oh God, I was desperate for release after the sheriff had left me on the edge.
The tentacle in my pussy was soon joined by a second. I screamed again as my passion mounted toward a powerful climax, but the pressure of the probing tentacles on my full bladder was becoming unbearable.
"Oh God, oh God, please..."
I don't know what I was praying for. Maybe I was begging for my elusive orgasm. Brenda had reduced me to a mass of quivering, overheated flesh after she trimmed my skinny jeans, but she had left me unsatisfied. The sheriff had also left me on the edge when he chased after the newspaper photographer. Perhaps I hoped the strange beasts would take turns fucking me on the rocks. What monster had my new boyfriend awakened in me?
I knew I was in trouble when a horrible creature rose out of the raging sea. The bloated monster looked like the sea witch Ursula from Disney's 'The Little Mermaid.'
The witch grabbed me by my black braid and screamed curses at the beasts holding me. "Let the filthy whore go. You have no idea what horrible diseases this nasty cunt is carrying."
Ursula cuffed the monsters, and their tentacles pulled away from my tormented body. The bitch spun me around by my hair and threw me into the boiling surf. I couldn't swim with my shorts around my ankles. I gasped for air as I sank beneath the waves, still struggling with my ruined Daisy Dukes. A porpoise nudged me back to the surface as I pulled up my shorts. I had to jump a couple of sharks to reach the shore.
Back on the rocks, the fat sea witch was still cursing at one of the man squids. "Asshole, don't even think about touching me until you've washed off every trace of that disgusting, filthy, disease-ridden whore. Damn, I can't believe what sluts come out for our Daisy Duke contest."
I lay panting in front of a rough wooden door bearing a crude sign that read 'Employees Only.' I took a deep breath and shook my head to clear it. Damn, I was fucked up. In the future, I promised myself I would never touch tequila again.
I staggered to my feet and stumbled through the swinging door. I was safe in a shabby part of the building that hadn't been painted or cleaned in ages. At the end of the wide hallway were a pair of large metal doors marked 'Loading Dock.' I passed the employee's locker room on the right and entered the unisex restroom. The room was poorly lit, and every surface was dark with grime. The sliding bolt on the door was hanging from one screw, so there was no way that I could lock the entrance to the restroom. The noise from the band was still loud with the door closed.
I was shocked by the condition of the room. It looked like a disgruntled employee had smashed their fist into the mirrors above the stained sinks. I knew it was the employees' restroom, but someone should have serviced it. There were spills and bits of toilet paper on the floor, but the worst thing was the lack of doors on the two stalls. One was clogged and didn't even have a toilet seat. Guess the guys used it as a urinal since the place where a urinal would have gone was a gaping hole exposing twisted pipes.
Well, I was desperate. I took the stall furthest from the door and wiped the wet seat with the last bit of toilet paper on the roll. I barely got my ass over the toilet before I unleashed a torrent of piss.
I sat staring at my Daisy Dukes gathered around my ankles. The tiny rag was all that was left of my skinny jeans. Besides my five-inch high platform wedge shoes, the scrap of torn cotton was the only clothing I had left. I turned my legs to look at my shoes. I loved my Michael Kors. I had bought them to give me added height when I defended that sick fuck Deek Grenhouser. Even with the extra inches, the patronizing judge had referred to me as Sweetheart and Little Lady. Well, I had shown him and the misogynist District Attorney when I got the murdering rapist off with a slap on the wrist. I considered my Michael Kors to be my lucky charm. God, how I loved my shoes. They had helped me win the case that rewarded me with my prized Harley-Davidson Road King Classic.
My body shivered as I remembered how Matt had gently shown me the joys of sex. I thought about how much I loved the big, beautiful, kind man. I felt so happy. I had never felt so joyful in my life sitting alone on a broken toilet seat in a filthy bathroom.
