Harley Davidson Lawyer
Chapter 6: Don't Be Rude
The waitress came over with a pitcher of beer for our table and another bottle of water for Bertha. The waitress put a shot glass of tequila in front of me with a salt shaker and a small bowl of lemon slices.
I said, "I didn't ask for the shot."
The waitress pointed to a couple of scraggly guys seated at the bar next to the waitress station. They were the ugly men who earlier had been drinking with the sheriff and hitting on Mindy. The first thought I had was that they couldn't have been more different. One of them was tall and skinny, with long silvery hair curling down from the edges of a bald crown. His pointy face and beady eyes reminded me of a ferret. His smile revealed sharp crooked teeth and did nothing to soften his predatory eyes.
The second man was squat, dark-skinned, and burly with a mass of unkempt curly black hair and a bushy beard that only left his dull eyes visible. His shirt with cut-off sleeves was open at the top, exposing more dark hair on a barrel chest. The bottom buttons of his shirt strained to contain a massive beer belly. He looked like the old man of the mountains, and he was waving at me with a rough hand the size of a dinner plate.
The waitress snickered at her joke as she said, "The tequila shot is a present from the gentlemen at the bar."
I stared at the rough-looking men. The fat, dark-skinned man kept waving. "Gentlemen? Seriously? I don't know them. Why would they buy me a drink?"
Bertha laughed. "Lyss, she means Dumb and Dumber are smitten by your tight little body and huge, bare breasts."
The waitress elaborated. "Well, John and Luke just got out of prison for cattle rustling, and the sight of a new, pretty woman sitting in the bar topless has the horny bastards as excited as a couple of jackrabbits in heat. God knows I have to keep slapping their hands off my butt and tits."
"Cattle rustling?"
The waitress laughed heartily, causing her bare pert breasts to jiggle. "Their defense was that they had only borrowed the heifer for sex and intended to return it."
I giggled as I thought about presenting that defense in court with a straight face. When I was a public defender, my clients often had unbelievable alibis. It was just one of the reasons I wanted to go into private practice.
"Did the judge believe them?"
The waitress grinned. "He believed everything except the part about returning the animal. He gave the brothers six months since they were apprehended before they could do the dirty deed."
"Brothers, seriously?"
" Mindy, John, and Luke have the same mother. Rotznase was the town whore before she disappeared. However, no one will admit to being the father of any of Rotznase's bastards. The only one with any smarts is that lying bitch, Mindy. Luke is as dumb as a box of rocks and somehow, John, the darker brother, thinks he's the brains of the outfit. Let's just say the only one who gets any dates is Mindy. However, she's angry that no one will put a ring on her finger and take her out of the piece-of-shit trailer she shares with her ugly brothers."
"So, basically, Mindy's brothers bought me a drink because I'm as pretty as a heifer. Oh, and thanks for letting me know how desperate my competitor is for the prize."
I was about to send the drink back when Josh said, "Don't be rude. I wouldn't want people to think the Raptors are a bunch of snobs. Besides, we need the drink for a toast."
Josh held up his whiskey, and we all clicked glasses as he said, "To our tough and rather tiny candidate for membership in the Raptors. May she always crush her opponents, both in and out of court."
I held up my glass to the strangers at the bar and downed my shot while trying to look inconspicuous with my oversized breasts bared to everyone in the club. I shuddered as the strangely bitter drink burned my throat. Josh had refilled my beer glass, and I took a healthy gulp to get the taste of cheap booze out of my mouth. I kept sipping my beer as the guys related old war stories.
Bertha got bored and dragged her old man off to the dance floor. Matt asked if I wanted to dance, and I begged off. I needed to plan my Daisy Duke routine for the showdown with that bitch, Mindy. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, my boyfriend downed his beer and stood up.
"I need to take a piss. Will you be alright by yourself for a couple of minutes?"
I smiled at my gorgeous boyfriend. "I'll be fine. What could happen to me sitting topless in a public bar? I've got at least fifty guys watching out for me."
Matt laughed and gave me a quick peck on the lips. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his sweet mouth back for a deeper kiss. Before he could escape, I remembered I had given him my wallet and cellphone to hold while I danced.
I said, "Oh hey, could you give me my wallet. I want to give the pole dancer a tip."
Matt pulled my wallet out of his black leather jacket and handed it to me. I watched his beautiful firm ass as he walked away. He passed under a chandelier, and the light danced around his blond head like a halo. I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me. Everything in my life was beautiful.