I meet you outside your building. I am inspecting the surroundings. I have a hard hat on and a bright yellow vest. We collide. You are in a rush, but I stop you. I ask, "Are you the guy from apartment 99? I need to see the inside."
You huff. "I don't have time," you reply. "Well, I must insist," I say. "You are required to let me in..."
You groan. "FINE." "After you," I say.
You turn around and walk quickly to your apartment. I almost need to run to keep up. Thank God, I have stamina. Otherwise, I would have been out of breath when we get to your apartment.
You open the door and let me in.
I inform you that I need to look in every room.
I start with the kitchen, looking at the walls and windows to see if there are any cracks. You tap your foot because you want me to hurry up, but that has the opposite effect. I go slower. I am a bit of a brat.
I open another door, and it's your bedroom. Your sheets are bundled. You didn't make your bed. But that's not what makes my breath catch. I see handcuffs.
I take them in my hand and get a wicked idea. I call you into your bedroom. "I need you to look at something." You come in, looking expectantly at me. I point to the side of your bed at the lower part of the wall. You can't see it from where you are standing. You go around the bed, and I step aside. "What do I need to see?" you ask. I am so fast that you need a moment to register what happened. I cuffed your wrist to the bed.
"What the fuck?" you scream. I smile a wicked smile. "I think you should slow your life down a bit. You will be so much nicer to people," I say.
"You get these cuffs off right now," you say angrily.
"I don't have the keys," I say.