Hannah's eyes slowly opened, the pale morning light shining in through the window pulling her out of a series of nightmares filled with public shame and degradation. She lay there for a moment, slowly waking, and staring up at the blank white ceiling. Her body ached from the night before, and the room bore the stale scent of sex. Hannah could feel dried cum coating her thighs and ass and reaching down between her legs found her pussy soaking wet, her body's reaction to those degrading dreams.
She thought about the two drunk guys, her waking in the middle of the night to them using her, fucking her as if she had no say in it at all. Just a toy for them to use to get themselves off. Followed by Allison, everything she'd said and threatened, and being made to masturbate in front of her.
Shaking off the memories, Hannah pulled herself out of bed and made her way up the hall. Before anything else, she wanted to scrub herself clean under the hottest shower she could tolerate. She knew she couldn't wash away how she felt inside, but she could at least get herself cleaned up and get rid of the remnants of her most recent debasement. Walking by Allison's room, she heard a taunting voice shout out to her.
"Morning, slut. Have any dreams about getting spit-roasted again?"
Hannah paused briefly, not daring to look in Allison's direction. Taking a breath, she continued up to the bathroom.
After her shower and once back in her room, Hannah grabbed some clothes, methodically slipping into a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt. Her thoughts swam with images of the night before but also of everything else that had come before that. And she dreaded what fresh nightmares were still to come. She knew she shouldn't dwell on it now, though. What was the point? She just wanted to face the day, to blend into the normalcy that surrounded her. Glancing at her phone and seeing no new messages, Hannah grabbed her things and headed out of her room.
The dining hall buzzed with the chatter of students, the clatter of dishes punctuating conversations as Hannah wove through tables with her tray looking for a quiet place to sit. Staci, a girl Hannah had befriended earlier in the semester, saw her and waved from a spot by the window, her smile bright and oblivious to the storm brewing within Hannah. The two had hit it off during freshman orientation and hung out a little bit at the start of the year, a time that seemed like a lifetime ago to Hannah. Torn between wanting solitude and wanting some sort of normal interaction, Hannah hesitated before finally heading over and dropping into a seat next to Staci.
"Morning, gorgeous!" Staci greeted, "How've you been? I feel like I haven't seen you around in forever!"
"Hey," Hannah managed, her voice quiet and tired as she took a sip of her coffee. "Doing ok. Yeah it's been a crazy semester I guess. How're things with you?"
Staci grinned and shared some updates from her life, her energy and cheerfulness contagious even to Hannah. As they talked, Hannah found herself listening with half her attention, her mind drifting back to the previous night and all that had happened. Her heart still raced a little as she thought about the humiliation she'd experienced, but at least it was more manageable now. She'd become numb to the shame, to the idea that she'd let herself be used like that.
As their conversation went on, the two girls laughed and shared stories and after everything Hannah had gone through, the normalcy of it all felt comforting. And while she knew her life was far from normal, for a moment she could pretend that it might somehow be possible to find balance between her dark desires and her need for normalcy.
"So, I'm glad I ran into you...and um, I'm not really sure how to ask this...but is it true what I've been hearing?" Staci said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
Hannah's heart skipped a beat. She knew it was probably too much to hope she could get through one normal conversation without it turning to sex. "Hearing about what?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.
Staci leaned in, her eyes wide. "Well...it's been a lot of stories actually and they just didn't seem like the girl I met before. Like...you're a cam girl, you've been having sex with like every guy on campus, you run around naked cause you don't care who sees you. There's probably more. I've heard a lot! But...yeah. Is all that really true? I figured there's no way! Someone's just spreading hateful rumors or something..."
Hannah's cheeks flushed crimson as she listened, unable to meet Staci's eyes. No point in hiding it, she figured. The cam site was out there for anyone to find and with that verification any of the other stories would be believable. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the inevitable rejection and judgment. "Y-yes," she whispered, staring down at her coffee cup. "It's true. I... I did those things."
Silence hung heavy in the air between them, and Hannah braced herself for the rejection she knew was coming. But when Staci finally spoke, her voice was surprisingly understanding.
"Well, you know what they say, don't you?" she said with a wink. "The quiet, normal ones are always the kinkiest."
Hannah's head snapped up, her eyes filled with disbelief. "Y-you... you don't think less of me?"
Staci shook her head, her expression sympathetic. "Hey, I get it. Everyone has their kinks, right? Plus, you should have seen some of the stuff my ex-boyfriend used to get up to," she said with a laugh, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "I don't judge. What you choose to do is up to you, doesn't affect me any."
Hannah let out a shaky sigh of relief. She hadn't been expecting such understanding, but it felt good to finally unburden herself with somebody who wasn't an active participant in any of what had been going on. "Thank you for being so... accepting," she said, her voice shaky but grateful.
"Hey, no problem," Staci said, patting her on the back. "Just remember, you can always talk to me if you need to, okay? I won't judge."
Hannah smiled weakly, touched by her friend's support. Maybe, just maybe, she thought to herself, she could find a way to navigate this new role in her without losing herself entirely.
As they continued their breakfast, Hannah couldn't help but notice the looks she was getting from the other students in the dining hall. She knew that a lot of people were talking about her, spreading stories and gossip, but there wasn't anything she could do about that.
Staci finished eating and started to gather her things, getting ready to head off to wherever she needed to be. As she picked up her tray she paused, smiling brightly at Hannah.
"One other thing?" she added, reaching down to put a friendly hand on Hannah's shoulder. "I wanted to tell you you looked so hot on your last cam show. And the sounds you made riding those toys...fuck. No wonder you have such a big audience. My boyfriend and I have been really loving your performances."
Hannah blushed, the normalcy of her morning crumbling around her as she realized that while Staci may have been a friend, she was also someone who was very familiar with Hannah's new life.
"Um...th.thank you," Hannah managed to say finally, her voice barely above a whisper.