I barely knew anything about her. She had never even told me her name. Actually, she never said more than one sentence to me.
We both lived in a dump of an apartment building. It was a relatively small, two-story building, and only half the apartments were occupied.
The rent was surprisingly low. Probably the only reason the landlord was able to keep the place paid for was because he never actually fixed anything. It was sort of an unspoken agreement, which is to say that we verbally agreed to it, and then agreed to never speak of it, but it somehow seemed to work out for everyone involved.
The place was shit, and if you wanted something fixed, you took care of it yourself, including the blown lightbulbs in the hallways. The result was that people took better care of their apartments, to the extent to which one can take care of shit, so they would be less likely to have to pay to have something fixed. In return, the landlord stayed the hell out of everyone's business.
"Just don't bring the cops in," he'd said, undoubtedly more for the fact that his management practices where quite illegal.
One unexpected positive side-effected was that the only people who lived there were people who pretty much wanted to be left alone, which is not to say they were unfriendly. You just usually didn't see them.
The building was so shit that even the poorest junkies wanted better, and could afford it. It was a quiet, unexpectedly safe place to live, in spite of appearances.
I lived on the second floor, one door from the end. The girl lived in the end apartment that opened up to the length of the hallway, which seemed a bit ironic, given her nature. For anyone in the hallway, her door was the most easily seen, yet she was easily the shyest person in the building.
She topped off at about 5'. Her hair was a mix of dirty blonde and light blonde, and it hung almost completely straight down to her waist. She was thin. She didn't look malnourished, exactly. She just looked... frail, I suppose. She always wore a gray sweater... jacket thing with no buttons.
I don't know what the names for most women's clothes are. The sleeves were long enough that only her fingers showed. As best I could tell, she usually wore some kind of dress that went just past her knees. I think they were usually a small flower print. I was always too far away to tell for sure, but the mix gave most of her dresses a sort of yellow brown appearance. She was always barefoot, which I kinda liked.
She certainly wasn't my type, but she was unusually attractive for that type.
I don't know how old she was, but she seemed to live alone, so I figured she was an adult. She looked about 20 or so. I'd never seen her outside of her apartment, not entirely, anyway, and I've never seen anyone go into her apartment. She's either earning money online, or is wealthy and still chooses to live in this dump, for some reason. That's my best guess, anyway.
Many times, when I get back from work, I'll be unlocking my door, and I'll glance over to see that she'd poked her head out, but she'd always quickly withdraw and close the door at first eye contact.
Once, I caught her off guard. She didn't know I was there. She was exiting her apartment, but before she got all the way out, she looked up and saw me. She averted her eyes, nervously turned back and shut the door. It was kinda cute, but part of me worried about her just a little bit.
There was one occasion, however, where things went quite differently.
I had gotten back from the grocery store, with arms full of plastic bags. I clumsily unlocked the door and rushed in trying to avoid dropping everything. I hurried to the kitchen to set everything down, and I heard the door shut.
The floor was not level, but the door would swing open if you let go of it. It did not swing closed. I cautiously peeked around the corner, and that girl was standing in my apartment, about three feet from the door.
She was staring at me, visibly nervous. I froze a moment, confused. I didn't know if something was wrong and she's come in for help, or what. She didn't move or speak. She didn't look afraid, exactly. She didn't seem to be in danger.
"Um... Hello," I said in a quiet, careful tone. She did nothing.
Just as I started walking slowly toward her, she averted her eyes, turning her head slightly to her right. Her eyes darted randomly across my living room, clearly of no genuine interest to her.
About three feet from her, I paused when she suddenly drew in a breath and grew even more visibly nervous. She even momentarily closed her eyes, in some failing attempt to collect herself.
Her arms were stiff straight at her sides, and her fingers fidgeted. Her feet remained in place, however. She was rooted to that spot.
"Can I help you," I asked.
Her lips parted slightly, wanting to speak, but she had not yet found the courage.
I decided to move closer and maybe offer a comforting hand on her shoulder. As I moved, she sucked in another breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds. When she opened them, her eyes darted less franticly, but still looked just a little off to the side.
At about a foot away, her face dropped a bit. I lifted my hand to put it on her shoulder, but I froze it mid air when she inhaled more sharply, turned her head sideways, and shut her eyes.
I lowered my hand and waited. When she realized I was not going to do anything, she turned her head toward me, and stared, circumstantially, at my shirt.
Her eyes opened and closed almost randomly, in several small attempts to find the courage to speak.
Both her body and lips shook, so much that if I didn't know better, I might think she was freezing cold.
"I- I-," she attempted to speak. She took a breath and briefly closed her eyes.
"I wa- wan-," she managed in a quiet voice. Quite honestly, I couldn't tell if it was because of her nervousness or if she was simply a stutterer. I'd never heard her speak before.
She closed her eyes and lifted her head level, slightly off to the right.
"I wa- want you t- ... to do th- thi- ings to me."
That was pretty much the last thing I expected to come out of her mouth. I even replayed it in my head to make sure I didn't misunderstand it. I definitely had to verify that.
"You want me to do things to you?"
Her mouth moved, in an attempt to speak, but there was only erratic breathing, so she just barely nodded her head once instead.
Exactly what did she mean by that? Did she want me to hurt her in some way? I had no interest in hurting anyone, even if it was for their own idea of pleasure. Did she have some plan to frame me for abuse, or something? That seemed unlikely.
What things did she have in mind? I mean, she said that she wanted me to do things TO her; not WITH her. I'm guessing she didn't come here to play board games.
Did she mean sexual things? Admittedly, the idea did appeal to me, on some level, but it was still weird and... a little suspicious.
I decided to give a small test to the situation. I went to gently brush her hair over her left ear, and when my finger touched her temple, she gasped and practically spasmed for half a second, but did not move away.
Her head twitched left at my touch as I ran the tip of my middle finger down her cheek.
Her mouth opened as I touched the back of her jawbone. As I traced it forward, she lifted her head a little and tilted it left in a welcoming manner.
My finger reached her chin, and then went away from her, causing a small inhale in reaction to the unexpected, somewhat disappointing end.
Was she just desperate for human contact? Was she so alone and locked away, that she just stopped caring about... what? Acceptable behavior?
I started to feel a little pity for her. Why did she choose me, if that's what it was? Convenience? My door was closest to hers. Of all the tenants on that floor, I was probably in the hallway more often than anyone else.
All the times she peeked out to see me, was it that she was attracted to me, or simply that she was scoping me out?
She slowly lifted her shaking hands and held the front edges of her gray sweater for few seconds, before slowly peeling it off her shoulders. She moved with a surprising grace for someone trembling so much. Halfway down her arms, she released it and let it fall to the floor behind her.
She was baring her neck to me. It was narrow and pale and her jugular was distinct. For a moment, I was reminded of countless vampire movies, but I had no fangs for her. I lightly touched the vein, but could still very clearly feel how much her heart was pounding.
I ran my finger down her neck, and momentarily, her breathing increased through her mouth. Her chest heaved up and down, as if it could not decide if it wanted to offer me her modest bosom or keep it from me. I reached the exposed end of her collar bone, pausing just a moment before continuing over the material that covered the rest.
I was conflicted. I had no desire to take advantage of this girl, or anyone, for that matter, but she came here willingly. Taken at face value, her request was quite clear, and rather disturbingly short on restrictions.
It would be a lie to say that I haven't had at least a few fantasies about a woman letting me completely have my way with her, but I've never even entertained the thought of trying to make it happen. Dating and relationships were too much of a hassle, and I definitely wasn't paying money for it.
But here is this girl. This delicate, unglamorous, beautiful creature, both so afraid and courageous. I started to become aroused. My finger continued to her shoulder.
I wanted to simultaneously comfort her lovingly and bend her over the back of my sofa.
I leaned to look into her eyes, but she jerked her head slightly and closed them. Did she not want me to look into them... or did she not want to look into mine? I suppose it didn't matter too much. I was going to respect her wishes, either way.
I walked around her left side and stood behind her. I held her arms and placed an experimental kiss on her neck. A sudden intake of breath. Another kiss a bit lower. No reaction beyond what her body had been doing the entire time.
I kissed that exposed end of her collar bone, and I heard her swallow.
I released her arms and placed my hands on her sides. I could have just moved them around from there, but I did not want to pin her arms down. I wanted them free. I wanted to find out what she would do.