Nathan:
"Come on in," Matt says holding the door to his dorm room open.
It had been a short silent walk over to his room. Neither of us had anything to say. Matt didn't touch me the whole way there but he walked very close to me, next to and just slightly behind me. I step inside nervously. Matt didn't have to drag me to his room. i entered of my own accord. Matt had caught me cheating on today's Economics exam and I needed to keep him quiet. Matt is currently blackmailing me for sex, I have to see if I can convince him otherwise.
I stand in Matt's spacious dorm room. Was is another hall than I was, due to him being a part of our schools basketball team, this also left Matt without a roommate and so got his allotted room all to himself. I drop my back-pack next to the door and stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do with myself. Matt's cousin who was supposed to be tutoring him was not due here for almost a half hour.
I hadn't noticed that Matt had already entered his room and was currently sitting on his futon. "What are you doing Nathan, come and sit down," Matt says patting the seat next to him. Matt has an actual bed in the room also, but the futon is facing the large television Matt has set up in his room.
I look down at my shoes, they are cheap black knock off converse, and on the toe of my right shoe I can see what is unmistakably cum. Whether it is mine or Matt's doesn't really matter, I feel my shame return full force. Matt took my virginity, just this afternoon. I let a man fuck me and make me cum.
With my eyes still directed towards the floor I shuffle over to where Matt is sitting. I hurts to walk. Every step I take causes a sharp flash of pain to shoot up my spine, and my legs are very weak. I never knew that having sex was such a work out. I gingerly take a seat on the futon, as far from Matt as I can get.
Chuckling Matt seizes my wrist yanking me close to him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Now that we are alone again, Matt has reverted to his cheery happy self.
I wince at the sudden movement. I can't help it. "Nathan are you alright?" Matt asks, concerned about my well being for the very first time. I didn't know he could be considerate of other people.
Shaking my head I murmur "I'm sore," and under my breath, "Not like you care."
"Oh... yeah sorry about that. It was my first time with a guy, sorry if I was too rough. Next time let me know how to do it correctly okay," Matt says giving me a squeeze.
"What do you mean, next time let you know?" I ask aghast. I had thought that Matt was straight based on the rumors I had heard about him fucking tons of girls. So what was he doing with me. "I had never done anything like that before. I told you I'm not gay," I say trying to shrug the arm on my shoulders off.
"No, I know, I heard you. I was just wondering how the girls you've been with have got you off. I mean they were probably a lot more gentle than I was," Matt says pulling me even closer to him, so that my body is pressed right up against his. My head barely reaching his shoulder.
I turn my face away from him. I can't say it. Try as I might I can't stop my face from flushing bright red.
"Nathan, you have been with a girl right? Do you have a girlfriend now?" Matt asks. He sounds nervous, maybe excited, I don't care, I just want to dig myself into a hole and die. "Was I your first Nathan?" Matt asks quietly.
Shame, and humiliation has my eyes burning with tears. Yet another thing to emasculate me. Not only did I lose my virginity to a guy but I'm also crying about it.
"Yeah, so what?" I spit at him, finally succeeding in jerk myself out of his grasp. I walk over to his bed, I can't make myself sit on it so instead I drop to the carpeted floor in front of it, resting my back against it. Scrubbing my eyes. I look up at him.
"Matt, what exactly do you want from me? I know you're not gay, you can get any girl at this school if you wanted, so why do you want to fuck me?" I look him in the eyes, and for once it's Matt that's having a hard time meeting my eyes. His face is a little pink. He doesn't say anything for a long time. I wait, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my cheek on them. I relax, it's warm in Matt's room. All the exhaustion I had been feeling comes back to me in a rush. I feel my eyes get heavy, and the tension in my muscles loosen. I glance blearily up at Matt he is still refusing to look at me, so I lean over curling up on the floor, and before I can consider exactly where I am, or what I'm doing I drift into blissful unconsciousness.
Matt:
Nathan caught my eye the very first day of Economics. Nathan had arrived a little late, rushing in just before the professor had entered the lecture hall. My eyes were immediately drawn to him. He was like no one I had ever seen before. He looked almost elfen, with wildly curly dark hair, slim heart shaped face, with huge dark eyes. His skin has this lustre, that gives his a supernature air. I couldn't help noticing how vulnerable he looked. He was short for a guy, and slim, very skinny, with spindly, twiggy arms and legs. But it wasn't just that. Nathan carried himself as if he expected to be kicked at any moment. But there was an almost alluring innocence in his large eyes. I was captivated, and wanted him.