The CEO took over. Sandra held up a hand. "Grab some paper towels. We'll do a 20-second clean-up at the sink."
We were all doing it at once, some of us wincing as we brushed much-stimulated flesh. Again, the banging on the door. Sandra collected all our towels, opened the cabinet beneath the sink, and thrust them deep into the waste basket there. As she did, she was saying, severely, "You let me talk and take all your cues from me. Okay?"
I nodded. Perfect. What would I tell my wife, anyway? Stephanie said, uncertainly, "Okay, Mom...but..."
"I'm going to find out what this dizzy bitch..." She cast a glance at me. "Sorry, but that applies just to today. My daughter is a very level-headed woman."
"Sure," said Stephanie drily.
The knocking became violent and we now heard yelling. Sandra called back with remarkable volume, "Coming! Sorry! Just a minute!"
As she hurried out of the kitchen, she turned back, once, and said: "Just do it. Use your brains!" She added, from the living room, "The only seriously under-used organ, today." Then, she yelled, "Come, both of you. We are presenting a united nude front."
We came up behind her as she fiddled with our two front-door locks. (We hadn't been taking any chances that Butch and Sundance would come back for a re-match.) I saw my wife's decidedly pretty face peering through the small windows in the door. Was that a grin?
"Hi, Susan," said Sandra, swinging open the screen door. Sandra's smile was welcoming to perfection. Good breeding.
Susan stepped in, stopped, and stood looking at us. By now, I appeared quite cool, if I do say so. Two beautiful bare-ass women and I was flaccid. I thought that Susan frowned, slightly, when she saw that. But all this in an instant before she said, "Well! How's the party!"
She added, "Jeez, the Lorraine women look sensational, don't they, Tommy?"
I nodded with a noncommittal smile. "Quite a birthday treat! Great surprise, Susan! You were right! Something new!"
Susan nodded. "So, what happened?" she asked brightly.
Sandra jumped in. "Well, Steph came, as invited, and found Tommy trussed up for his big 30. She untied him."
A distinct frown from Susan, her lips pursed. She asked, "Can I come in?"
"Oh, sure!" said Sandra. "Glass of wine? I think there's some left." We three walked toward the kitchen, Susan following, with a nice view of our three swinging bare asses. Stephanie quickly poured wine, all round, and we stood sipping. Susan's glance kept going from one to the other of us, including three full bushes, two sandy brown, mine dark brown.
"So, Susan and Tommy were having a glass of wine when I arrived. At that point, we all tried to figure out what we were supposed to do..."
"I told them we played penalty and I lost," I added helpfully. "We had a few drinks before I confessed that I had been led to expect some sort of..." I hesitated. "What, exactly..."
Sandra's cue. "Well, you finally did say you had been hanging there having fantasies about losing your clothes in some exciting scenario, not yet revealed..."
Susan nodded slowly. I looked down, as though abashed. "I did say that," I said. "Before Susan left, she led me to believe this was about my manhood and issues of control. She even punctuated her remarks with..."
"Right, right," said Susan quickly. "How did you all get naked?"
Sandra frowned a little. "We figured out maybe that's why you invited us, took off and left Tommy at the mercy of the kindness of strangers? I mean here you are, not all that surprised to find mom, sis, and hubby all partying naked..."
"And I encouraged that line of thinking," I said. "Sorry, I did tell them that you swatted me in the balls twice, just to let me know I wasn't boss of the barnyard, today."
Susan sighed. "And?" she asked, her tone one of infinite patience?
Stephanie piped up with "I ordered him to strip, Susan." She quickly added, "Really, it was a joke!"
"I won't say we were exactly 'set up,'" said Sandra thoughtfully. "But I, too, thought somehow this was about sex... I couldn't imagine whyβI mean, why me!"
I shrugged. "So, I stripped. Totally. We had a laugh, made a few off-color comments, and kept drinking."
"So then Tommy says, "Jeez, it's my big 30 and I'm the only one at my party who's bare ass.'" This from Stephanie. She hesitated. "You know me, Sis. I'm up for anything."
"So?" Susan encouraged.
"I stripped, too, right in front of both of them," said Stephanie. She waved at us. Then, she raised her hands and cupped them over her conveniently compact breasts. "I was a little self-conscious."
"You're totally ravishing," said Susan, as though making an official ruling.
"That's what we both told her," said Sandra. I nodded enthusiastically.
At that point, I said, "Let's go sit down. This could be a long conversation." In the living room, Sandra and Stephanie took the sofa, Susan and I sat opposite in easy chairs.
"Well," said Sandra, "so Tommy began to comment on how different you two sisters are." She smiled at Susan. "You know, you with the fuller body..."
"And Tommy began to joke about Mom's body and asking about it." Stephanie added quickly: "I mean, you can't blame the guy! He's naked, I'm naked, by this time."
"I must have had way too much to drink or something," said Sandra. "Somewhere along the line, they teased me into taking off my top stuff to do a breast comparison. And, oh, well, my pants for a leg comparison." She added, "I know we were totally nuts. What must you think? Is this the end of the family?"
Susan shook her head, conceded a smile. We weren't getting anywhere, so far, in getting to her story. How did Sandra expect this bull shit to accomplish that?
"We were getting pretty turned on," said Stephanie.
"Oh, Stephanie!" Sandra remonstrated.
"Well, I was, anyway," said Stephanie. "At some point, when Mom was turned away talking to Tommy, I slipped up behind her and dragged her panties down to her knees!"
"I shrieked!" said Sandra, laughing pleasantly, now. "But, I mean, Tommy saw it, so there was no point taking it back, at that point, so I just kicked them off and joined the family."
"I see," said Susan. "Okay. Makes a sort of sense. You're right, of course, I did set up a situation..." She turned to Stephanie. "The question is: Where are your friends? You said you all were coming. You've have always hinted about them, you know. I thought you would all be together when you found Tommy. And with me not on the scene..."
Stephanie nodded. "Crazy Stephanie, sex maniac, and her friends, the traveling orgy, wouldn't be able to resist Tommy's predicament? And that would be Tommy's big 30 surprise?"
Susan hesitated, glancing at me, then Sandra. She shrugged. "Something like that..."
We said nothing. Her turn. No letting her off the hook. She waited, looking at us. We looked back, mouths shut, expectant.
"I know," said Susan defensively. "I know, Steph. I did make some assumptionsβabout you, your friends. I was desperate to let Tommy play out some of his wild sex fantasies... Yes, they are wild, Tommy. And I know how important they are to you. No, please, let me finish.
"And I trusted you the most, Stephanie." Susan looked down. "I haven't been totally in la-la land about how you feel, you know."
Stephanie nodded. "I know."
"Feel about Tommy..."
Again, the nod. A long pause. "And even about me, at least when we were younger. We never, ever talked about this, Mom," she said, turning to Sandra.
"Well, we are now."