There was almost no way I was going to tell her what he said. To come out directly and tell me he actually wanted to fuck my wife was something I knew she would get really pissed about. I'm not sure why he thought he could tell me something like that and not have me punch him in the mouth for it, but he just told me without a moments hesitation he'd like to fuck that fine pussy of Claire's.
When she asked me what Jake and I talked about last night in the backyard I blew her off and said it was sports stuff. "Bull shit," she said.
"You looked like he just told your your sister was fucking a dog. I've never seen you in such a mood. What was it he said?"
"I don't want to talk about it," was all I could come up with without totally lying my ass off. She persisted and I finally just blurted out, "He wants to fuck you, okay?"
"That's all?" she said. "That's what you were so pissed off about. "That's nothing. Most guys wouldn't be that honest. So what did you tell him?"
"I said to go fuck himself," I said. "I told him to get the fuck out of here. I said my wife was not some whore he could fuck if he wanted to."
"Really? That was your comeback? That was your stand-up-for-your-wife rejoinder? Go fuck yourself? And what did he say?"
"He said he just told me the truth," I said, sounding stupider every minute even to myself.
"So he wants to fuck me and you feel insulted? How should I feel? Should I feel men shouldn't want to fuck me? Is that it? I should feel insulted and not complimented? I should feel men shouldn't want to fuck your wife, that they should feel I am too homely to fuck?" she said with a hurt expression on her face.
"Of course not," I said. "It's just that.... I don't know, I just thought it was too disrespectful to say."
"So thinking I am fuck-worthy is disrespecting me? Is that it?" I didn't know what to say. I had gotten myself in a ton of shit and there seemed no way to get out of it. I stammered. "Well, are you happy a friend of mine says he wants to fuck you?" I figured putting things on her was the best strategy, but that was far from right.
"I'm happier than if he told you he wouldn't fuck your wife on a dare," she said with a sneer. "Women don't like to be told they're not sexy, not desirable. You think we only want our smelly husbands to want to fuck us? Well, you're wrong. We'd like the whole world to want to fuck us. Why do you think we put on all that sweet smelling shit and dress up in sexy clothes?
"You're not the only stallions on the ranch."
I was totally snookered, totally fucked, and I simply didn't have a clue what else to say. "I love you," I said feebly. "You are all I desire."
"Yeah, we'll maybe so, but your friend thinks I'm worth fucking, and that makes me feel good, that makes me feel desired. Any idea when he wants to do it?"