This story is the third and final chapter of
Free Bible Study
. If you haven't read the first two chapters yet, I would recommend reading them first. This is a story about a religious woman in a failing marriage who is seduced in her ministry by a lonely widower. If you find this sort of story offensive I only ask that you move on to something you prefer and not just give this story a one star rating because it offends you. Ratings should really only be based on the quality of the writing and the presentation of the story.
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It was Wednesday. Kathleen's second sexual encounter with Mr. Pickering had only concluded a few minutes ago on their "Bible study". She started her car and pulled away from Burt's house. She couldn't believe how fast her heart was beating. Her hands were trembling on the steering wheel of the car.
On the ride back, she replayed scenes in her head over and over. She could see clearly, the images she knew she would never forget. The sight of their bodies intermingling, shiny and slippery with sweat. She could hear the sounds. Her breathing, at times in short gasps, riding her wave. His breaths slower and much, much deeper. His penis basking in the warmth and creaminess of her vagina. Finally Burt loudly grunting, and then her squeals. She could still conjure up the smell of their sex. The combined elixir of their arousals, now mixed on the bedsheets.
Like watching a video, she kept seeing in her mind these close-up scenes, occasionally remembering another one. All this in full technicolor complete with sound and scent. She began to feel her breathing quicken again. She thought, "There's the driveway." Kathleen pulled up to her garage door, threw it into Park and turned off the ignition.
Suddenly there was only silence. Some breezes rushing through the leaves of nearby trees and a few birds in the distance occasionally singing away.
It was like someone had just hit STOP on the video. Everything stopped. No more erotic scenes playing in her head. It was reality time.
It was about 1:00 in the afternoon. Kathleen unlocked the door and slowly walked inside her home. She pushed it closed. The dull "thud" of the heavy door seemed to cast a note of finality. Something had been done that could not be undone. She had conveniently put off contemplating all the ramifications of her actions, both today and last week. She couldn't remember ever feeling this alone. As she stood in the living room staring into her kitchen, the afternoon sun shone brightly into the room. Its light was divided into beams by the setting of the vertical blinds. The room appeared striped in light as sunlight fell across everything before it. Each beam of light alternating with a dark stripe. To Kathleen the dark areas represented her sins, hiding from the light.
A tear slowly formed in the corner of her right eye, gradually growing larger, but still contained by her lower eyelid. Now, another tear was forming in her left eye, a few moments behind. The larger drop eased itself out from her eyelid as she began to blink. The tear was forced out. It rolled downward, slowly making its way alongside her nose. Now across her upper lip. She extended her tongue in time to catch the drip. She could taste the salt. Still standing, she drew a long breath and held it.
Then she wailed out-loud, in a banshee cry, equaling the most primal sound one could imagine, seeming to rattle the very walls, and then...
"OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!! KATHLEEN!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!! WHAT HAPPENS NOW???? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS NOW??????"
Kathleen fell to her knees, bawling her eyes out. After several minutes she began to regain a relative calm. Her thought stream continued, as if in a conversation with herself.
"I don't feel guilty at all. At all!"
"But I just did a terrible thing! I was unfaithful to my husband. I betrayed all of my friends (all of whom were, not coincidentally, fellow Jehovah's Witnesses), and they may end up completely shunning me! Maybe forever! So, I will have no friends! Steve might hurt me, divorce me and kick me out of the house. These are serious fucking problems!"
"And I don't see any solution to this. Steve is never around and never interested in any intimacy with me. He seems to not like me very much. It doesn't even feel like we're married anymore. It hasn't for a long time. I know the oral sex thing was a really big deal to him." (Her religion forbade oral sex, even within the marriage.)
"Steve's always coming home late from work. And now this weekend he's goin' down to the lake with his friends to drink lotsa beer and stick poor little wormies on sharp hooks. He's takin' a long holiday weekend, leaving tomorrow afternoon right after work and comin' back sometime on Monday. So, he never seems to want to be around me. I'll admit it. I've been very, very lonely for a long time. So, it's not an excuse for violating my vow of faithfulness to my husband, and my vow of obedience to God. No, it's not an excuse. But it is an explanation. I have to look at the whole picture."
Kathleen was at a critical crossroads. As it was, neither her husband, nor anyone she knew, had any knowledge of her dalliances. Burt had agreed to absolute confidentiality. So, at this point, she had control over the situation. She faced zero repercussions if she did nothing.
On the other hand, if she confessed this sin to the elders, her relationship with every single person in her congregation would be put at risk. She wanted to reject that option outright. But for 20 years it had been ingrained into her psyche hundreds of times, that it was Jehovah's arrangement for congregation members to confess any serious sin to the elders. Any who might keep their sin secret, would thereby endanger the congregation, as the ferment of their evil could spread. She would also very likely be forsaken by her God when Judgment Day came.
What to do? At first blush, it seemed confessing would be the "right" thing to do. It's what a "respectable" person would do, acknowledging that their partner and perhaps others, have a right to know. She was trying to convince herself. But she remained skeptical of that reasoning. She wondered, "Starting from ground zero, who really does have a right to know?"
She knew there was a defensive aspect to questioning her religious indoctrination, but she also began to see that her questioning it, was not unreasonable, and certainly what an intelligent person would be expected to do. For the first time in 20 years, she began to question the legitimacy of having to confess something this personal to the elders.
So, neither choice was a good one. By confessing, she will probably alienate every friend she has had for the past 20 years, resulting in a complete shunning. Her husband may become violent. He may divorce her and throw her out of the house. But, on the other hand, by keeping her indiscretions secret, was she only fooling herself and really just trashing her integrity to avoid accountability? How could she look her spiritual brothers and sisters in the eye, knowing she had committed a serious sin, refusing to subject herself to the judgment of the elders by keeping it secret? It felt hypocritical. Somehow it seemed dishonest.
She decided this wasn't something she had to make up her mind about right away. No harm would be done by just putting off the decision for a few days. In the meantime she needed to tend to her routines and calm down.
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Thursday arrived and sure enough that afternoon Steve ran in to grab his fishing gear and a few six-packs of beer "for starters". Kathleen had prepared a hot meal for him, but he said he didn't have time, and rushed off, shouting, "Woo-hoo! Here I come, fish!" He didn't kiss her good-bye. He didn't even say good-bye. He was just gone. And that's the way it was with Kathleen and Steven Miller.
