Have you ever had that yen to do something just because you've been told not to? I'm not talking about anything illegal, just a part of normal everyday life that you're suddenly told you can't do that. It always gives me the irrits when that happens. Why can't I whistle as I walk down the street? Because it annoys someone? Big fat hairy deal. It annoys me to be told not to and I'm someone. Apparently only other someones count.
I'd recently moved into a new unit. Shortly after that I started to get a distinct sense of hostility from some of the residents in some of the other units. Was it because of my bike? Listen, that bike probably costs more than the typical car I've seen parked in the garage. Was it because some people think I look intimidating? When you're six foot plus and around one seventy five, tanned and with a crewcut I guess I probably do look like a bit of a rough-neck. The leathers probably didn't help but what else would the sensible rider wear on a bike? Some people are just nervous nellies, I guess.
After I'd been at my nice new unit for about a week I met one of the residents while I was downstairs checking for mail. Barbara was a cute little blonde. Not much over five foot tall and very nicely shaped. She looked fit, if a bit pale, and was friendly and personable. We chatted for a bit and then we went our separate ways, me with the firm intention of getting better acquainted.
Come to think of it, that was when the hostility started to appear. We'd barely parted ways when I was warned off talking to her. She was a sweet gentle girl, too good for the likes of me. I just naturally assumed that was jealously speaking from a would-be lothario and intended to ignore the advice.
Somewhat harder to ignore was similar advice given by another male tenant, three female tenants, and the postman. The postman really irritated me. What the hell business was it of his, anyway? The others I could understand, to a certain extent, as they were neighbours.
The warnings all seemed to be variations on a theme. Barbara was a sweet, gentle, girl. Sensitive, and not very strong. Someone who'd had a bad time of it recently and needed time to recover. What she didn't need was some uncouth thug (me, I assume) hanging around and scaring her.
In my typical considerate manner I ignored the various warnings, having no intention of snubbing Barbara just because some people were over protective. This natural brought more warnings, with comments about how people were watching me.
I finally put the question directly to Barbara.
"I know that your complexion is a little pale but apart from that you seem quite healthy to me. Why are people trying to tell me that you're a weak, sickly, little girl? Little, I will grant, you obviously weren't watered enough while you were growing, but you don't seem particularly weak or sickly to me."
"I'm not a little girl. I'm twenty."
"I wasn't referring to your age," I pointed out. "I was referring to your height, or I would have been if you had any."
"We can't all be giraffes like some I can name," she grumbled. "A little while back I caught a nasty case of the flu. If that wasn't bad enough it morphed into pneumonia and I finished up in hospital for two weeks. I'm fully recovered and have been for weeks. When summer rolls around I'll get a bit more colour. It's hard to gain any decent colour when there's no sun available."
I nodded understandingly.
"True enough, so I guess I can ignore those requests not to upset you."
"Which you would have anyway," she put in and I nodded.
"Which I would have anyway," I agreed.
As an aside, I'm a computer trouble shooter and do emergency work for several corporations. Despite what you hear computers are generally quite stable pieces of equipment and it doesn't really pay a corporation to have an expensive trouble shooter on full time, sitting around and eating his head off. Far cheaper to pay someone like me a retainer and send for me when a genuine emergency occurs.
Such an emergency had just arisen at a new office and I was requested to look into it. I called the location, went through the obvious steps, and a couple of not so obvious ones, and agreed to run out there and see what was what. That's one reason for the bike. I could get around fast and my tools could fit quite neatly into the bike's storage compartment.
It took me thirty minutes to reach the site and I was escorted into the computer room. The first thing I did, the very first thing, was to check that the machine was plugged in and turned on. I had already been assured twice that it had been. They lied. They'd plugged it into the power socket and turned on the machine and nothing had happened. Why? Because they hadn't turned on the power at the damned wall. I turned on the power and everything was fine, except for my opinion of the operators.
I returned home and I have to admit that I wasn't in the best of moods. I mean, a one hour round trip because some idiot didn't know how to flick a switch? Ridiculous. I was in no mood for neighbours to make some nasty remarks about my relationship with Barbara and how I'd better not try to develop one. I stalked past not deigning to notice them and got into the lift.
As chance would have it Barbara was in the lift. She must have been coming up from the basement carpark. The two of us were the only ones in the lift which would probably have given the old hens heart palpitations if they knew.
"Barbara," I said. "How nice to see you. I feel I should warn you about my intentions."
"Ah, your intentions? I take it the mouthy brigade has been sounding off again?"
"They have. Accordingly I am going to yield to their worst imaginings where you're concerned."
"Do tell," she said, smirking.
"I intend to. What I'm going to do at some stage, not today but at some stage, is to drag you into my unit, strip your clothes off leaving you completely naked and lay you on the rug in my front room. It's a very soft rug, by the way. Once I have you on the rug I'm going to place your ankles next to your ears so you're completely doubled over, exposed and defenceless. Then, while you watch, I'm going to slowly penetrate you, ignoring any pleas to the contrary, and have my wicked way with you."
"All of that, uh?"
