I had told Marnie about my long-ago girlfriend Janie's comment that she thought she would like to be raped. I had been somewhat taken aback, but assumed what she was really saying was that she wanted to have sex, but no responsibility in that sex. Being raped would make that possible, able to simply have sex, without having her 'good girl' image (both inward and outward) stripped from her.
Marnie saw things differently. She saw the suggestion of rape as a way of a woman saying that she wanted, not to be raped, but to be taken, not brutally, but no holds barred, no holding back. And to this, she would give herself totally.
That was a different way of seeing the use of the term 'rape'. It was not rape that was desirable, nor the lack of responsibility, but what was it exactly? Even with Marnie's explanation, I wasn't sure. I wanted to find out. But how?
I considered attempting to enact a rape scene, with myself as the rapist, and Marnie as the one being raped, having every part of her body touched, explored, plundered, totally and completely fucked, without every knowing with certainty who was doing the plundering and fucking. Would she choose to participate? Or would she find it all too traumatic? If the latter, I would certainly stop, if I recognized it on time. But would I recognize it? Could I trust myself? Or would I, too, become so involved in the event that I became truly a rapist, taking her, yes, but truly against her will? It was frightening to think of. And yet, if the 'rape' could be successfully enacted without the trauma normally associated with such an act... there was something enticing about it. I determined to try.
Version 1:
I prepared carefully, mapping out my strategy. I had managed to find and purchase, among other things, a device that changed my voice when I spoke, hopefully making it unrecognizable. I had clothing Marnie had not seen, including a hood for over my head, only the eyes visible, and a slit for my mouth. I now knew Marnie's movements for the evening, knew she would be walking through the dark alley on her way from CH to her home. I had picked the spot in the darkness where I would wait for her. Now the time had come.
I waited in the darkness, trembling. This was so far from anything I had ever done, ever imagined myself doing. And yet, if it was as Marnie had indicated, and if I could act it well, it would be an exciting time, for both of us.
I watched Marnie walk up, walk by me. Soundlessly, I stepped out from the darkness, stepped in behind her.
In one quick movement, I stretched out my right hand from behind, closed it around her mouth, while with my left hand, I reached around, closed it on her left boob, squeezed, held.
"Not a sound", I hissed. "If you try to escape, or try to scream, I'll give your tit something for you to scream about." I paused, then "If you accept to remain silent, squeeze my left hand."
Marnie hesitated. I waited a moment, then said "Agree. Or there will be consequences." Slowly she raised her right hand, closed it over my left, and squeezed.
"Good", I said. "We understand each other."
I continued. "I'm going to take my hand from your mouth. If you promise to remain silent, take my left hand, put it on your right tit, and squeeze it again." She did. I removed my right hand from her mouth.
For a moment, she relaxed a bit. But then, I slid my right hand down. I felt her tense up again. I didn't stop.
My hand brushed her stomach, continued down, until I reached her pussy. Her breathing caught, held. She was tense. I waited until her breathing began again. I could feel her heart beating hard in her chest.
I fondled her pussy gently, then stopped, pressed in, hard. She gasped, but her hips involuntarily thrust forward against my hand.
I held her pussy tightly, but released my hand from her right boob. I moved my hand upward, partly unbuttoned her blouse. Then, I pulled the fabric down, first on one side, then on the other, until both sides hugged her body tightly, pinning her upper arms while leaving her lower arms free.
With my left hand, I reached into her bra, fondled her boob, squeezed her nipple, then lifted her bra over her boobs, letting them hang free. They were beautiful. I fondled first one, then the other, holding and squeezing, enjoying them as much as I always had.
"You've got great tits, lady", I said. "I'm going to enjoy them."
Then, holding one boob in my left hand, I released her pussy, slid my right hand around to the side, over her right hip, and down, down, to the hem of her skirt. Pausing there momentarily, I began the journey back up, but this time carrying with it the fabric of her skirt. I moved my hand so it travelled up the inside of her leg, enjoying the feel of her thigh as I moved along.
Again I felt her tense up, her breathing stop, her heart beating so hard it felt as though it would jump out of her chest.
I continued the journey, until my hand again cupped her pussy, this time with only the thin fabric of her panties between my hand and it. I slid my finger under the edge of her panties, pushed them aside, felt her pussy soaking wet. Her mind may have been scared, but her body was screaming something else entirely! Just as in yoga stretches, I had to get her mind out of the way, let her body do what came naturally.
I began stroking her cunt, up and down, softly at first, then more firmly. I ran my finger around her clit, several times, then curled my fingers and pushed into her cunt. She gave a soft moan, her hips thrusting her cunt forward as though to invite my fingers deeper. But it wasn't my fingers that were going to have their way with her.