He was to meet me at the airport. It was difficult to believe that the fated day had finally arrived. The wait had seemed endless at times, when in fact, it had only been seven years, seven excruciatingly lonely years that is. I had left to find myself, or so I thought. Instead, I had found much pain and disappointment, fear and rejection. The city was really no place for a naïve, young woman such as myself. I missed the warmth and compassion I had felt in his arms. I craved the love and security he had offered so long ago. He had said once that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I had said he was my destiny.
The sound of my name being called jolted me out of my protective world of fantasy. I looked up to find him briskly making his way towards me through the crowd. Curly, blond locks bobbed in and out of focus. Reality suddenly smacked me soberly in the face. Icy tendrils of fear gripped my lower spine and I found myself bolting, running the other way. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, and the pounding of my heart sounded like thunder to my ears. I was enveloped in a cloud of terror.
“What am I doing?” I asked myself. This was absolutely insane! I would book the next flight back and push all memories of him out of my mind forever. He could never really be mine. We would only succeed in torturing ourselves with this impossible charade.
Breathlessly I found my way to the information counter. Just as I opened my mouth to ask the time of the next flight, I felt his steely arms grip my shoulders and spin me around. “There you are dear,” he exclaimed through clenched teeth. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” “We’ve never been here before,” he announced to the surprised woman behind the counter. “It sure is easy to get lost, isn’t it?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she responded smiling, somewhat amused, “yes, it certainly is.”
“No,” I wanted to scream. “No! Please let me go,” but I could find no voice with which to speak. Relieving me of my suitcase, he held my hand firmly in his, and led me out of the safety of the airport and into the parking lot. Effortlessly hailing a cab, he pulled the back door open and gently guided me inside. Tears clouded my vision as I gazed out of the window with blinded eyes. I had no idea where he was taking me. I felt his eyes examining my trembling form. He said nothing.
Almost as if in a dream, I found myself being led out of the cab and into a hotel. I merely stood by drunkenly taking in the surroundings as he booked a room and retrieved the key. I wouldn’t look into his eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to peer into those magnetic pools of blue, as I knew there would be no turning back…not now…not ever. Endless minutes passed and finally we arrived at the room door. He guided me inside. Hurling my purse at the dresser I collapsed onto the bed. My body was racked with uncontrollable sobs. Lying down beside me he gently caressed my back.
“Don’t worry,” he crooned as he smoothed back my hair, “I’m not going to hurt you little one. Everything will be ok. Trust me. I only want to make you feel good. Please let me love you.”
Tenderly turning my body to face him, he cupped my face in his muscular hands and kissed away my tears. His burning lips found their way to mine, and I felt my body responding like a traitor as I surrendered to his kisses. How could I have even imagined fleeing from this beautiful man? I wanted him with every fiber of my being. I would enjoy my time with him, however limited that may be. Tearing his lips away from mine he searched my tear stained eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered. “Do you love me?”
“Yes,” I moaned. “I always have.”
“ I want you,” he groaned. “Do you want me?”
“Yes,” I groaned. “I always have.”
“Undress for me,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire. “You are so beautiful. I need to see you…all of you.”