My oldest brother spent 15 years in the army and really enjoyed it. He says that all that camaraderie with the other men was great. They were really supportive of one another in and out of fighting. He says it is something that only a man can appreciate. Recently he had one of his reunion dinners in town and, as always, they remembered all the things that happened to them and they joked and laughed about them. The first part of the reunion is strictly for the soldiers only but at the evening get-together friends and family are allowed to attend.
At this particular reunion we were almost helpless with laughter as the soldiers remembered what happened to two of the female soldiers, Nancy and Jenny. My brother told the story but was frequently interrupred by some of the others with additions to the story. I made a lot of notes as it sounded like a gift of a story for me. Here I tell it in story form after consulting my notes. I tell it from my brother’s angle.
* * * * * * * *
Nancy and Jenny were the only two women on our training camp section. It was clear to us that they were a couple of typical feminists, always cracking on about women’s rights but never mentioning their responsibilities. They seemed to think the world should revolve around them. In short they were a right pain in the arse. On the first day when we were all new recruits, they started telling us how good they were and that anything men could do they could do just as well if not better. In fact they were so sure of themselves that they had made a large bet with Jenny’s brother that they would definitely pass out as qualified soldiers within three months.
We soon discovered that their main interest was not in becoming good soldiers but in proving that they could do what men do. Consequently none of the lads liked them much and tended to avoid their sterile conversation whenever possible.
They were in reasonable physical shape, but with over large boobs. They said they worked out three times a week. Perhaps they did. They wouldn’t have had much else to do as I don’t think they’d have had many dates with guys. They seemed to have difficulty relating to men.
When we went on the firing range they got a bit panicky and didn’t seem to know one end of a rifle from the other. They missed the target completely much to the great amusement of all the men. I remember the sergeant shouting at them, “OK gals. Put the rifles down. Fortunately you don’t have to be a marksman to pass out on this course, so you might still make it.”
Things got worse when they tried to throw a grenade. They were unable to throw it far enough to avoid injuring themselves more than any prospective enemy.
Strangely enough all this didn’t seem to affect them and they still acted as though they were absolutely great at everything they attempted. They were as thick as custard.
During the last week of the course, we all met in a large hut and the sergeant in charge told us that the following day we would be going on the main assault course. It was to test everything we had learned, our initiative and our general fitness. If we did not pass on this course then we would not be allowed to continue our careers as soldiers.
Nancy and Jenny went around assuring everybody that they would get through the assault course with flying colours. They even told the sergeant in charge that there was not the slightest doubt. Afterwards I heard him tell one of the corporals, “If that pair pass out I’d rather be on the enemy side. If they were on ours we’d spend too much time looking after them.”
It was then that all the lads decided to teach these two overbearing and conceited girls a lesson they would not forget. We had a meeting in the men’s barrack room to formulate our plan.
* * * * * * *
The next day was bright and sunny and, after breakfast we all assembled on the parade ground in full battledress, packs and with rifles. After the officer in charge of the camp gave us a short talk, he asked the sergeant responsible for the course to outline what was expected of us. He went through the usual routine of how to recognise the path of the course and said we were not allowed to miss any part out. If we failed on any section of the assault course we were out. There would be jeeps used during the day to take our rifles and kit to another part further along as parts of the course were too demanding to carry full kit and rifles.
There were 22 men and the two girls all lined up when the whistle was blown to start. Nancy and Jenny tried to show off by running ahead of some of the men which was not a wise move.
The land was undulating and wooded and in places very rough. We did all the usual things that we’d been trained to do before, like running across planks, under barbed wire, swinging across ditches and so on. We soon noticed that Nancy and Jenny were running out of steam and were dropping behind the others. Soon there was a gap of several hundred yards between them and the nearest man. Sergeants and corporals were stationed every half mile or so to see that we all kept to the course and they frequently shouted at the girls urging them on to catch up with the rest of us, but it was of little use. Soon we had left them so far behind they were out of sight.
As we ran along the course, we stopped from time to time to take a short breather and we laughed at the thought that soon our plan to deal with the “terrible two”, as they were called, would be put into action.
Soon we came to the toughest part of the course. We arrived at the bank of a river about a hundred yards wide. A jeep stood nearby manned by two soldiers, Mark and Jim, and, as we had to swim across we were allowed to put our packs and rifles in the jeep which would take it around to the other bank for us to pick it up again.
We dived into the river and swam across. It was heavy going in wet uniforms but we eventually emerged the other side. Most of the guys went on to the rest point but four stayed behind the bushes as planned.
Eventually the two girls arrived at the river bank. They were almost done in. “Oh, no,” groaned Jenny. “We don’t have to get across that do we?”
“Yes, Hurry up you two!” bawled the sergeant. “You have to get right across the river to the other bank. You can see there’s a small island in the middle. You are allowed a rest on that if you want it before carrying on to the other bank.” The corporal directed the girls towards the jeep.
“OK,” he said. “Put your stuff on the back seat. Mark and Jim will take it over to the far bank for you to pick up again.”
The two girls thankfully threw their heavy packs and rifles onto the back seat of the jeep, then turned towards the river.
“What do you two think you’re doing?” barked the sergeant.
“Putting our stuff in the jeep like the corporal said, sarge,” panted Jenny.
“Well, get on with it then,” he shouted. “Put the rest in!”
The two girls looked stupidly at each other not knowing what he was getting at.
“We don’t have anything else, sarge,” spluttered Nancy.
“Your uniforms, girl! Your uniforms! Get ‘em off quick. You don’t want to get ‘em wet in the river do you?”
The terrible two looked at one another in panic.
“Of course,” said the sergeant in a kindly voice, “you don’t HAVE to do it. You can stop here if you want to but you’ll fail the course.”
Jenny looked at Nancy. “If that happens we’ll lose our bet with my brother,” she said.
“Make up your minds you two,” yelled the sergeant.
“Do we have to go COMPLETELY naked?” pleaded Nancy.
“Absolutely naked,” replied the sergeant. “You are not allowed to wear a stitch.”
The terrible two went bright red as they started to strip. Soon they were down to their pants and bras. They were hoping they would be let off the final humiliation of taking them off in front of the four men.
“Jump to it then,” yelled the sergeant again. “Don’t leave your clothes on the ground. Put ‘em in the jeep.”
The girls walked over to the jeep and handed their clothes to the widely grinning soldiers who carelessly threw them on the back seat.
The four men were now standing in a circle around the two girls openly laughing.
“Come on girls,” said Jim, “We’ve all seen women’s naughty bits before.”
