You know, to this day I still don't know why I did what I did.
Okay, I know exactly why I did it. I was overcome with passion. I felt it so strongly that it couldn't be resisted. And when it's right there in front of you tied in a little bow, you won't walk away. You just won't. And introduce heavy amounts of alcohol into your system. Yeah. No way you'd refuse it then. Especially then.
Right now I'm sitting in my cell writing to pass the time. Hell, I've been writing. About a number of things. About historical events. About scientific concepts. Many things I've learned about in the year I've been here. Anything but her.
But tonight I think I'll go ahead and write about what I've been avoiding. That night that changed everything.
Well I can't really fault that one night. It was a while before. A long build up to that point. Let me explain.
I had a friend, Daniel. He was awesome. He would've done anything for me, and I for him. but in the end I fucked it all up for his sister. His sister Sara. My friendship gone for an eighteen year old girl, a girl seven years my junior. But goddamn, she was something.
I still remember nights we'd hang out at his house drinking. Watching movies. Playing games with friends. And Sara would come out, only in a long t-shirt and shorts, and no other guy batted an eye but me. Why I've no clue.
God she was so sexy. She had such a great body. But more of what she had was her face; she was beautiful. Deep brown eyes, I mean intense. You couldn't look her in the eye for very long even when you wanted to. Nice kissable lips, and soft, gorgeous hair. Just perfect.
Anyway, it was one particular night of hanging out. Drinking. Playing games. She came out in that outfit she slept in. I decided right then and there that I was going to have her. I had to. I couldn't take masturbating thinking about her one more time. I had to fuck her.
Of course, it didn't happen that night. But I started being closer to her. Talking to her more. I recall a night when Daniel was passed out on his bed and she and I talked all night on hers. This was when I realized that she wouldn't let me in those tight little shorts. Too conservative. But that doesn't mean that we can't try certain things...
The next night that I stayed there I had a plan. I'd drink just enough to keep up with Daniel until he'd pass out. He couldn't really handle his alcohol though he'd brag that he could, which was perfect for what I had in mind. With him out, I'd wait for Sara to fall asleep herself. And this is where my brilliant plan starts. I wait for her to fall into a deep sleep during which i sneak into her room and touch her, pleasure her, at least something to her until she hints that she's about to wake up, and I split.
It's not as stupid as it sounds, really. So long as you're careful and know that your target sleeps deeply, you're set. Or so I thought.
So we're drinking away, and I can tell that he's about gone. He's babbling on about conspiracy theories and rattling off terrible jokes. The only problem is that Sara isn't home. Sure, It's not too late but it still disorients me.
10:00. No Sara. Daniel is lying in bed, not quite asleep yet but very close.
10:30. Daniel is out. Unfortunately, so is Sara.
11:30. I hear the door open. Two female voices whisper and the door shuts, then footsteps. I see a figure sneak down the hall into Sara's bedroom and I grin an enormous smile knowing that it's finally here. Finally I can do something about this terrible desire.