Do I really have to tell anyone not to try this at home? Yea, don't do that, don't buy the ACME rocket skates, and don't eat the Tide pods.
Welcome to Our New Guests
History
Sometime in the 1950s, the U.S. government acquired an abandoned mine in hard rock which became the basis of a large bunker complex during the cold war era. Even prior to the so called "end of history", the increasingly obsolete technology and its remote location were casting doubts as to its continued utility. The bunker was retired in the mid-nineties and was eventually sold.
We immediately recognized the value of a fortified remote location, not just as a refuge from war or civil disorder, but as a place where we could establish a discreet luxurious resort featuring services that would attract embarrassing attention if offered elsewhere and a staff who all live onsite and are subject to restrictive NDAs and other measures that ensure that what happens at this facility is never mentioned to the public.
Facilities
There is a complete list of facilities and map of their location available at any terminal and as a booklet in your welcome kit. Our many facilities include a large, fully equipped gym, a pool, a spa, gaming rooms, a small, intimate theater where we present plays, a larger projection room with food and drink service for viewing movies and special presentations, rooms of various sizes that may be reserved for private functions, two bars with different themes, a restaurant, room service with extras not usually available at even the most luxurious hotels and clubs, a cigar bar, pony girl races and other contests, unique presentations for your edification and enjoyment, and much more, all with the most enthusiastic service of our understaff.
If you have a special fantasy in mind, please contact our staff and we will try to make a plan, subject to the safety and wellbeing of our staff and understaff, to make your fantasy reality. In particular, if you wonder what it would be like to be part of our understaff or want to experience life as a pony girl/boy, we can safety accommodate you. If there's a few pounds you just can't shake, a two-week commitment to life as a pony girl, subject to the same strict discipline as our regular understaff, may be just what you need.
Important Reminders
The rules mentioned below included in the book of rules you already agreed to follow as a condition of becoming a guest of this facility. However, we feel it is worth repeating the following:
No guest may photograph or make an audio recording of any kind. Attempting to do so is not just a major violation of our rules, it will make you the kind of enemies who can and will make you watch as they destroy everything you love. Cell phones, cameras, computers of any kind, and voice recorders should have been left with our attendants for safekeeping when we picked you up for transport to the facility. If you failed to do so and were not detected in transport, contact a staff member immediately so we may remove your phone, camera, computer, or recorder for your own safety and the safety of those you love.
Any disobedience or problems with understaff should be immediately reported to staff for appropriate action. Our understaff have, for the most part, embraced their enforced submission and will thank you for any correction they receive.
You may see some of our guests disciplining our understaff. They are experienced guests who have earned the privilege of doing so and know the rules and correct measures to apply to each case, and when to refer the matter to regular staff. As a new guest, you must refer all such matters to regular staff who will apply the appropriate correction while you watch. This applies to all understaff, except for those wearing the black neck, wrist, and ankle bands, who you may discipline under the supervision of a staff member who will direct the severity and duration of such discipline and, if you are interested, may provide coaching on the use of the implements.
We believe in fresh starts and assign all staff and understaff working names that differ from their original names. We suggest, but do not require, guests to use pseudonyms which must be registered with or assigned by staff to prevent duplication. It is a serious violation of our rules to inquire about the past of a staff member or understaff servant, or ask to for his or her "real name". Violation of the "Rule of Names" by any staff or understaff would result in disciplinary action, potentially extreme, against them.
It is both extremely rude and a violation of our rules to inquire about the "real name" of a fellow guest or to use their real name if they have adopted a pseudonym. Unless you are certain they have not adopted a pseudonym, do not address any guest by their real name or any nickname. Some guests value their anonymity so much, they only appear in the shared facilities wearing a mask and whole body covering. Do
NOT
stare at or question these guests.
Notwithstanding the need for privacy, there are numerous cameras around the facility. These are monitored in real time for your safety and the safety of our staff and understaff. Most camera footage of the private areas of the facility is wiped when you leave or after a few weeks during your occupancy. Most camera footage of the public areas is wiped after a few weeks.
Privacy is our brand
and any release of such footage to the public would destroy us both as an organization and as individuals. This is one reason that internet access is available only through the restricted hardware we provide. Interfering with the operation of a camera is a violation of our rules. Persons requiring audio visual conferencing must reserve a room in the restricted area and be searched and escorted in and out of said area. On no account are understaff permitted in this area. Even janitorial services are provided by regular staff in this area.
As a small, close-knit, sexually active community, we take the control of sexually transmitted diseases seriously. Our staff, and especially our understaff, are frequently screened for sexually transmitted disease. In particular, the understaff wearing the dayglow orange neck, wrist, and ankle bands are being treated for a sexually transmitted illness. Any sexual contact with them is a violation of rules unless you have a special dispensation that we only grant to a few guests with special needs.
You were medically screened prior to your arrival here and will be screened periodically during your stay and as dictated by contract tracing. If you are assigned a protocol to prevent the exchange of body fluid, failure to follow this protocol will be considered an assault on both understaff and your fellow guests and be treated accordingly.
As you know, understaff wearing the blue neck, wrist, and ankle bands are role playing as animals and have been forbidden human speech, except with special permission of regular staff. You may talk to them as you would any pet animal, and should treat them as the animal they are role playing as.
Understaff wearing the black neck, wrist, and ankle bands are considered feral and have been forbidden human speech. These understaff are dangerous and have likely attacked staff or a guest. You will find it advantageous have staff moderate any interaction with feral understaff.
If understaff are wearing a chastity device, do not attempt to remove it or to attempt to stimulate their penis, vulva or clitoris.
Attempting anal intercourse with trainee, who you will know by their green collar and bands, is forbidden. It is also forbidden to attempt anal intercourse with any understaff who have been exempted from it, who you will know by the white or the gray band on their collar. However, only those who's collar is either blue, pink or black or who's collar bears a brown band received daily enemas. Staff, however, can prepare understaff for anal upon your request and lubricant is widely available throughout this facility. Failure to use adequate lubrication when attempting anal intercourse with any understaff is a violation of our rules. When in doubt, ask staff for assistance.
Lastly, any understaff wearing a white collar that includes an orange band is not available for guest usage.
If You Break the Rules
We offer a unique experience at this facility. Because of this, we also have a unique system for treating rule violations. As you will remember from the agreement you signed to become a guest, if you violate a rule, you are subject to the same disciplinary measures that might be applied to understaff. Follow the rules and you'll enjoy an experience that cannot be duplicated anywhere in the world at any price. Break the rules and you will also have an experience, but not one that you're likely to enjoy.
Hound Dog, 2026-05-28: