Don and Paul, moped Cheryl, were idiots. Totally and completely. Not enough brains between them to outsmart a pea-brained goose. True, they had muscle, but so did a gorilla. Did she want to date a gorilla? No, she did not. Did she want to date Don or Paul? Same answer. But they wouldn't leave her alone and now look what's happened.
School was over for the day and Cheryl was on her way to the coach's office. So she could explain herself, according to the coach. As if it was her fault that Don and Paul got into a fight.
She knocked at the coach's door and reluctantly entered when commanded.
"Cheryl," said the coach, sounding really unhappy. "I take it you heard about the little contretemps between Don and Paul?"
"If by contretemps you mean their beating the bejesus out of each other, yes, I heard. I blame you, you know."
"Me?" exclaimed the coach, rather startled.
"Yes, you. You teach them to be competitive, to be belligerent, totally ignoring the fact that they haven't got the sense to restrain their competitiveness and belligerence to the field where it belongs. A woeful shortfall in the training of the team in my opinion."
"Really? So you're saying their fight had nothing to do with you? Nothing to do with the fact that you're dating both of them?"
"Hey, don't blame me. I don't want to date either of them. They insist. More of that belligerence you're training them in coming out in an inappropriate situation."
"And their insistence has nothing to do with the fact that you're fucking them both and playing them off against each other."
"I am not, repeat, NOT fucking both of them. I'm not fucking either of them. I'd as soon fuck a mongoose on steroids as to go to bed with one of them. Sooner. The mongoose would be smarter."
"Really? That's not what they claim."
"I don't give a shit about what they claim. I said I'm not fucking them and that's that. Whatever they may claim to the contrary is all in their empty heads. They make things up and tell each other, trying to score points. They're currently running at about minus fifty, points wise. Both of them."
"So they're fighting about you when neither of them has you? That's what you're suggesting?"
"No. They're fighting because they're idiots who like to fight. I'm just their current excuse."
"Really?" The coach's voice oozed disbelief.
"Yes, really. They're both trying to talk me into bed and paranoid that the other might succeed where they've failed. Thus the fight, a stupid effort to warn the other off. Did they hurt each other badly?" This last question was asked in a hopeful voice.
"Well, if they're both trying to get you into bed why don't you just fuck one of them and get the rivalry over with. You're disrupting the team."
"Oh. So I should give my all and fuck the team to keep them happy? Who made me your happy hooker? Why don't you hire a pro if you're that desperate to get them laid?"
"So why haven't you gone to bed with either of them if you're constantly dating them?"
"I date them because they don't give me any choice. I don't fuck them because I do have a choice. I'll admit that they're trying their damnedest to get me into bed but I find their suggestions eminently resistible."
"So you would have no objections if I ordered you not to date either of them?"
"Yes and no."
"Which is it? Yes or no?"
"Both. Yes, I would object strenuously to your trying to tell me who I can or can't date. No, I wouldn't object if I never had to date either of them again. Why don't you just tell them that I'm off limits? Them you have some authority over. Theoretically, anyway."
"If you don't want to date them then why do you?"
"I told you. They insist."
"How can they insist? All you have to do is say no when they ask."
"They don't ask. They just tell me I'm going out with them and haul me off."
"Colour me confused," muttered the coach. "So how come you haven't finished up in bed with you. Don't they just haul you off to bed as well?"
"No. They try to persuade me. I just keep saying no."
The coach considered this new information, slowly nodding his head.
"I get it. When they order you, you obey. When they try to persuade, you can say no. As a matter of curiosity, what would you do if one of them ordered you to take off your panties?"
"They wouldn't dare."
"But supposing they did. What would you do?"