Doctor Dallas

I've always loved going to my doctor and being thoroughly examined. Cold steel and stirrups! It's at once humiliating and exciting. Anyway, a favorite fantasy of mine has always been, "Suppose he isn't really a doctor at all, just someone pretending to be a doctor ..." Eliza

(P.S. At some point I'd like to write this story from Amanda's point of view as well.)

Dallas had just finished mopping the company doctor's office and put away his cleaning implements. He was getting ready to check the doctor's cabinets for interesting drugs when he heard the tip tap of high heels in the corridor outside. A woman in a dark blue business suit hurried in, getting the floor dirty again. Dallas was going to say something to her but she spoke first. "Oh, Doctor Greenwell, I am SO glad you're still here ... "

Dumb bitch, she thinks I'm Greenwell, Dallas thought. What an idiot!

Breathlessly, she said, "I just came in for an interview today, to maybe work in accounts receivable?" Data entry? And, you know what they said? In the personnel office? They said I could start MONDAY if I got a physical from the company doctor today ... otherwise I can't start for a whole week, I don't understand why, but I REALLY need this job so I am SO glad you're still in your office, Doctor Greenwell, because they said you sometimes leave at four on Fridays...".

Oh yeah, like that asshole Greenwell ever stays past three ... he's teeing off at his country club by now. However, the woman's confusion seemed to present him with an opportunity. Yeah, this could work out real nice. Instead of hiding in the broom closet and looking out at the doctor examining women from the peephole he had made, he might actually get to examine a real live woman himself. This is, if he could make her believe that he was a doctor. And this broad seemed dumb enough for that maybe to work.

Don't want to seem too anxious though. "I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait until Monday for your physical," Dallas told her. "I'm just about to leave for the weekend." Nice looking but dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice little titties. She's maybe a little bit chubby but what the hell, seen lots worse.

"Oh, don't say that doctor. I have got to get a job and right away, so I need your help."

"What your big hurry?" asked Dallas.

"I ... I guess I can tell you ... since you're a doctor and you can't ... I mean, you have to maintain confidentiality, right?"

Maintain confidentiality? What shitty TV show did she get that phrase from?

"Yeah, sure, your secrets are safe with me ..." Yeah, right! Nothin's safe with me ...

"Well, my husband works night, and my sister and I ... we started going out to that casino, the one the Indians run and ... I kinda got into playing blackjack, and I had this incredible run of luck and was up like thousands of dollars .... but then I started losing and ... I have a lot of debts I have to pay off before my husband finds out or he'll kill me and the people at the casino are getting really, really nasty about me not paying them back..."

Dallas hastily slipped on one of Doctor Greenwell's white lab coats, though it was too small for him. This silly bitch hadn't even noticed that he was in overalls. What kind of a friggin' doctor wears overalls?

"Well, "Dallas said with a sigh, "sounds like you got problems all right. Guess maybe I could help you out and give you a quick check out." He said with pretended reluctance, "You got the form?" He remembered when he was hired to be a janitor, they made him come to Doctor Asshole and he had to pee in a jar. The doctor took his blood pressure and his temperature and the doctor filled out a form that the people in the personnel department had handed him.

"Yes, I have it right here in my purse. You know, I can't understand why I need a physical to work in accounts receivable. I just don't get it. I've never had to have a physical to work anywhere else..."

"Company policy," Dallas said, as if that explained everything. "Partly, it's about drugs. Company don't want none of them drug-users working here. Partly, it's about insurance. They don't want to give insurance to people with uh, pre-exiting conditions." Somehow pre-exiting didn't sound right but she didn't seem to notice. "All right, give me the form, let's get this started."

She handed him the form. It asked for some very basic medical data and pointedly asked if the prospective employee had tested positive for drugs of any sort.

"All right," sounding as if he were granting her the sweetest favor in the world. "I guess I can do this for you now, although it takes some time. Name?

"Amanda. Amanda Woodridge."

"Age? Height? Weight?"

"Thirty three. Five foot five. A hundred and thirty-five pounds ...."

He looked at her. "We'll have to check that, of course ..."

"All right, a hundred and forty pounds."

"Bra size?"

"What?"

"Bra size."

"Why do they want to know that?"

"I don't know why you are wasting my time," Dallas threw the form down. "Ms. Woodridge ... Amanda ... you can take that matter up with the personnel office, I'm just filling out the form. Or if you prefer, you can come back on Monday and ..."

"I was just wondering why they wanted that particular information. But if you must know, 34B. Well, sometimes, depending on the bra, 34 A, but usually B."

"All right, well next you gotta go pee in a cup ..." He looked around for a urine sample cup and couldn't find one. He handed her the doctor's coffee mug.

"I have to ... urinate in this?"

Doctor Greenwell's cup said, "World's greatest dad." It should say, "World's biggest asshole." "Yeah, that's the idea. Go pee-pee in the cup"

She looked flustered. "Uh ... where's the ladies' room?"

"Oh I'm sure you'd like the chance to use someone's drug-free pee. You want me to certify that you're not using, then it has to be what we call a doctor-observed pee. A DOP, they call it. I uh, have to be able to certify it's really your piss."

"Oh my God," she said, "I don't even think I can do that. I mean, while someone is watching ... God I'd be so embarrassed."

Dallas shrugged. "I can have the nurse observe you next week, when she gets back from Cancun ..."

"Well...I guess, since you're a doctor ..." She was dressed nicely for her interview, wearing a dark blue suit with a skirt and a frilly white blouse. She reached under her skirt and pulled down her panty hose and her underpants to her knees. Dallas loved the humiliated look on her face. She was clearly embarrassed to have someone watch her perform this private ritual. She squatted down over Doctor Greenwell's coffee cup. From the front, her skirt hid her privates but Dallas walked behind her and got a glimpse of her pale ass. Nice sweet, plump little ass, Dallas thought.

She must have had to pee pretty bad. She overflowed the cup. She quickly hiked her clothing up and picked up the cup by the handle. This is kind of messy," she said. "What do you want me to do with it?"

"Here, just give it to me," he said. She handed him the brimming cup of her pee. The cup was wet and warm. "I'll test it in a just a minute...." He said.

She looked a little nervous." How long do you have to go without doing drugs for something to show up ...?"

Uh oh, though Dallas. Hasn't been long since she's been smoking some shit, I bet. "We've got these new test now. If you've been doin' any drugs in the last week or so, it will show up bigger'n shit," said Dallas, who actually had no idea.

Amanda bit her lip and looked even more worried. I knew it, he thought.

After looking in a lot of wrong places Dallas found a hospital gown. "All right, Amanda, put this on."

She looked surprised. "What, I have to get undressed?" Jeez, I thought this was just going to be answering a few questions ..."

"Hell, I gotta give you a full physical. That's what the company says. Can't very well do that if you're wearing a business suit, now can I?"

Amanda appeared even more uncomfortable. She fiddled with her string of pearls. "I just ... I ... well, my regular doctor is a woman because ... I don't know, I just have issues about being ... about disrobing ...."

"Because you think you have a fat problem, right? Hey, you're not so fat"

"Well, yes, there's my weight problem, there's that but ... I just feel so ... so vulnerable. I mean, I don't think anyone ... any male has seen me naked except for my husband in ... well, since I've been married."

"I'm a doctor," he said "there's no reason to feel valuable because of me, and if you can't trust me, who can you trust?"

"I guess I'm being silly," she said. She went behind the screen. Her blue jacket appeared, draped over the top of the screen. Then her lacy white blouse and blue skirt. Her panty hose followed.

Dallas was meanwhile going through the woman's purse. He found a small baggie of marijuana,. Ah hah! He put it in his pocket. There wasn't much money in her wallet but he took the few dollars he found there.

. "May I leave my underwear on?"

"Not a snowball's chance. That would make it damn hard to completely examine you," There was a chilled silence from behind the screen. Dumb cow is trying to figure out what "completely examine" means. Then a bra with small cups and a pair of panties appeared.

"All right, get on out here. Remember, I'm working overtime."

Amanda came out from behind the screen in the paper gown. "I'm sorry to put you out ... I know you'd like to be on your way home ... but I appreciate your help, believe me."

"Oh, by the way, you made a mess on the floor there when you were pissing in the cup. Someone just mopped that floor. Besides, I could've slipped in it and broken a leg."

"Oh!" She blushed. She was humiliated to have peed on the floor. "I can clean it up."

"Oh yeah, I bet you can." said Dallas. He went to his broom closet and got out a rag.

He could hardly keep from laughing as she got down on hands and knees to clean up the yellow puddle on the examination floor. The gown was extremely short, and open in the back. She was trying to get her mess off the floor but still maintain some modesty. She didn't have enough hands to do that. She kept trying to position herself so that Dallas wouldn't have a clear view up her gown, but Dallas kept walking around her as if inspecting her work while actually checking out her goodies. Doing a better job cleaning the floor than I did.

"Them hospital nighties, they don't leave much to the imagination, do they," Dallas said, making her blush furiously.

"OK, that good enough, now hop up on the inspection table." She sat down on the examination table. Short legs. Chunky calves and thighs. Seen women with lots fatter legs, though. Most women I know, actually.

Dallas tried to remember things that Greenwell did during the physicals he'd peeped at. Let's see. He'd seen the doctor look in peoples' ears. Where's that little pointy doohickey? It wasn't anywhere obvious. Instead he just looked in her ears. She didn't seem to notice. He did find a jar full of tongue depressors and told her to open her mouth. He must have pressed down on her tongue too hard because she gagged and made a puking noise. I'd like to gag her with something else, he thought.

Now what?

"Are you going to take my blood pressure?"

"Of course I am, right now." He found the blood-pressure device attached to the wall, but had no idea how to use it. He got the cuff on her and squeezed the bulb until she cried out in pain, but had no idea of how to read the gauge. "What is it? What's my bp?" she asked him.

He tried to think of what a plausible blood pressure reading would be. It was always something over something. "Thirty over sixteen."

She giggled. "Wouldn't that make me just about dead?"

"I'm just kiddin' around, trying to get you to relax. I can tell you're nervous an' shit. Anyway, if your blood pressure was unnormal, I woulda told you so."

That answer seemed to satisfy her. Now he figured he had done enough screwing around and could start doing some fun things to this dumb slut. "Just take the top of that nightie down now. I'll need to check out your heart race and then do the boob exam."

"The ... breast exam?"

"That's what I said. It's part of the ... reg'lar exam. Gotta examine them breasts, says so right here" Dallas said, picking up the form. "So let's get on with it. Drop that paper nightie." She did. Nice. Could be a little bigger, but still, yum. The nipples were pink and pert and a little wrinkled from the cool air-conditioned air of Doctor Greenwell's office. He stared at her breasts until she started to look uncomfortable. Then he started feeling them. Dallas massaged her breasts and rubbed one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He watched it stiffen and gave it a little pinch. God, I wonder how long it takes to go to doctor school? I could get used to this. Sure beats the hell out of mopping floors and cleaning toilets.

"Do my breasts seem ... normal, Doctor?"

"Oh yeah, they're great. I mean, they're kinda on the small side but ..."

"No, I mean ... you were taking so long. You didn't find anything, did you? I do breast self-examination in the shower at home. I take breast health seriously."

"Well, lemme tell you, you got real healthy boobs. I didn't find no bumps at all" he said. She looked at him sharply. Uh oh, should have said something that sounded more medical. Should have said, "You got a pair of real healthy teats," I guess ..."

"Let me just find my stereoscope and I'll check out that heart race." He finally found it in a drawer. He lifted up her left breast, thought that wasn't really necessary, and put the metal end of the stethoscope against her ribs at the base of her breast.

"You forgot to put the uh, ends of the stethoscope in your ears ..." she said. Damn it, why do I keep fucking this up?"

"Just kidding around again." Now he could hear the magnified beat of her heart. Sounds a little fast. Wonder if she's nervous, or could she be getting a little bit turned on? Nobody's looked at this broad for years but her husband—gotta be a turn on to be looked at by a hunky doctor like me.

And the best was yet to come. "All right, lay back and put your feet up in them foot holders."

"You know, I have my own gynecologist. Can't you just check with her and ..."

"Company policy. Gotta check out everything myself."

"But shouldn't there be a nurse or someone like that here when you examine me?"

"OK, fine, like I said, late next week my nurse will be back, so we'll schedule ...."

"All right, all right." She put her feet in the stirrups and laid back and closed her eyes

Dallas put on a pair of Doctor Greenwell's plastic gloves and put an ample amount of KY jelly on the fingertips .She could hear the crackle of lubricant against latex and he saw her cringe. He had watched a couple of clips of fake gynecological exams on Internet porn sites, so he had a vague idea of how to use a speculum, but couldn't find one anywhere. It looked bad if he had to search for every doctor tool so he settled on using a tongue depressor, the same one he'd used in her mouth.

With her feet up in the stirrups, she looked amazingly exposed. Dallas thought even her husband probably never had such a good view of Amanda's pussy. This woman, this married woman who hated to be looked at, was completely exposed to Dallas, Dallas the lowly fuckin' janitor.

She had a nice, kind of pudgy pussy. She didn't shave, but that was OK, because Dallas liked bush. Full pussy lips, a little darker than the rest of her pussy. Dallas admired her genitals for a few minutes more, then reached down and began to stroke the exterior of her hairy pussy. "First I just need to check out your volvo, make sure there's no problems on the outside," Dallas told her, "then take a look inside, make sure all that girl plumbing is in tip top shape. He got the doctor's little stool and sat between her magnificently spread legs. First, he spread her lips open with his fingers. He looked carefully inside: pink tissue, the dark, irregular hole of her vagina, her pee hole, and poised there above the opening, the cute little button of her clitoris.

"Uh oh," he said.

"What's the matter?" she said, alarmed.

Well, we got some kinda ... some kinda juice down here. If I had to make a diagnostic, I'd guess it was jizz. Looks like someone creamed you good."

"Well, I didn't know I was going to have a ... a pelvic exam, or I wouldn't have, my husband and I ... I mean, when I go se my regular gynecologist, we never ..."

"So how often does he do you?"

"What?"

"You know, how often do you and him have sexual relationships? Sexual interviews? "

"Sexual intercourse? don't know. Once every week or two?"

"Man, he should be doing you more than that, fine looking woman like you. And do you get off most of the time."

"Do I ... do you mean, do I reach a climax? Not all the time ... sometimes."

"Something wrong there then. Healthy lady like you ought to be having more fun than that."

"Sometimes he just ... makes love to me and then goes right to sleep.

"He must be an asshole then," Dallas put the tongue depressor back where he'd found it, in the jar of unused tongue depressors.

He slowly eased a finger inside her genitals. She gasped as the finger entered her and explored her private places. He twisted it and turned it and fingered her inside. He slipped in a second finger. Her eyes were closed as if she just wanted to get this over with, but she didn't protest. With his other hand he touched her clitoris, trapping it between fingers, massaging it, circling it. Then, to his surprise, she seemed to press her clitty up against his finger. He thought she was raising her butt an inch or so from the table, and rotating her hips. He heard her sigh and then heard a soft "ummmmmm ... " escape her lips. Even in plastic gloves, he could tell she was getting juiced up. Suddenly her eyes opened wide. She said, " My regular gynecologist doesn't touch me that way. I mean, it feels a little inappropriate to me ..."

"Different doctors, different styles. This is uh, this is like a super up-to-date method of virginial examination. It's called the uh, the Guccione Technique. It, well, it's a way we docs can figure out your uh, overall healthiness by uh, checking out the uh, responsivity of your neither region. So, does your husband ever touch you like this?"

"Sometimes," she said, "but not as much as he used to. Not as much as he should." She squirmed, clearly enjoying the sensation. "I ...I think you need to stop." She gave him a look that Dallas decided to interpret as, "Please don't stop." He added a little KY jelly, fingered her clitty more, circling it with his finger, and then, she moved her hips and bit her lips .She grimaced and moaned and then seemed to regret moaning and tried to turn the moan into a cough. He kept playing with her pussy. He thought she might even have an orgasm but then she removed his hand. "Please," she said, "you have to stop. This uh, Guccioni Technique, it's really making me ... uncomfortable."

"OK, no problem, all done with your gentiles anyway." Dallas said, "Now I want you to turn over and get in doggy position. "

"What?" Her suspension of disbelief seemed about to fray and completely give way.

"You know, your uh, basic canine position. What I mean is, turn over and get up on your hands and knees like the family dog."

"Why?"

"Well I need to check your uh, lower temperature, of course."

"My temperature? That's the way you take kids temperature. Adults, you take their temperatures orally ...."

"There are these studies that show your basic mouth thermostats, they're only about ... they're not so accurate, it turns out. Butt thermostats are 40% more accurate than your basic mouth thermostats," said Dallas