I'm in bed waiting for you while you brush your teeth, wash your face, all those little personal tasks at the very end of the day. I'm wearing a not-too-interesting light woven cotton shortie top and panties, lying on my back, drifting off to sleep. I know you're naked, it's a hot summer night and you never wear pajamas, anyway. I feel the bed shift when you sit down.
"Don't do anything," you say. "Just turn your head away and pretend like I'm not here."
I look at the wall, then feel your hand steal up under my pajama top and feel your fingers curl around my nipple, tapping it gently. You push your other hand up under my top to caress my other breast.
"Don't look at me," you whisper. "I'm not even here." You drag your palms across my breasts, and they catch a little on my nipples. I begin to moan, but you tell me to be quiet, no sound tonight, to pretend that assassins outside will come in and kill us both if I make any noise.
You push up my pajama top to expose my breasts.
"Oh, they're so pretty," you whisper as you lean in to lick and suck on one pink nipple, while rolling the other between your thumb and forefinger. I love when you touch me like this. I rise up a bit to meet you, but you push me back, saying "No moving tonight. And keep your head turned away, too."
You shift your position to straddle me, keeping your hands on my breasts. You lean down and kiss me softly and sweetly on my upturned cheek, while moving your naked groin against my panties. I forget that you've just told me to stay motionless, so I turn my head to meet your lips, arch slightly against you, move with your body the way we have so many luscious times before. I love your supple nakedness and try to open my legs to you, but you say, a little harsher, "Don't move, dammit, I'll move you when I want."
So I keep my head turned away on the pillow as you begin to knead my breasts with more vigor.
"I love your tits," you say, pulling and squeezing so hard you're pinching my nipples, causing painful but exciting, lip-biting and delicious twinges that start from deep within, making me squirm almost imperceptibly. You're quick to push me down with your hips.
"Stop it, stop moving, I told you, don't move. I mean it." And you swat me gently.
You take my hands, intertwine fingers, an intimate gesture I love, but tonight you are moving my hands up and away from us, showing me that you don't want me touching your back, no stroking, no embracing. Then you disentangle your fingers from mine, and get something I can't see from beneath your pillow. I feel fabric, maybe a handkerchief, being looped over my wrist, tightened, then tied to the spokes on the headboard.
This is something new that we've never done before, something we've never discussed. The first rule of our games is that we talk over any new ideas. I'm torn between standing up for our rules and a watchful, titillating curiosity.
"Nothing to say?" you say in a surprisingly mean voice. "You're always telling me what to do, nothing to say about our rules?"
I want to say something, but when I start, you are ready to put a bandana between my teeth and tie it too tightly behind my head. I'm pissed and try to untie it with my free hand, but you are quick, grabbing it and securing it to the headboard just as firmly as the other. I am truly bound, unable to move either hand more than an inch.
I protest, trying to talk through the bandana. You press the side of my face into the pillow and tell me to stop making noise, right now, and you give my head a little shake, just as you do when you are trying to get the dog's attention. I don't want to be quiet, and when I continue with my muffled complaints, you slap my face, hard. That really makes me mad. When I make louder protesting sounds, you slap me again in the same place.
"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" you say and you don't seem to be kidding. You're suddenly pinching my nipples hard, and it's all I can do to stay quiet.
"Oh, that's a good little slut," you say. "You better stay quiet."
I turn my hands slowly, trying to find the knots while keeping my gaze averted from yours.
"Lift up so I can take your panties off," you say. I raise my hips and can feel the fabric slide slowly down and off my legs. You are holding one of my ankles, then you tether and tie it down. This is way beyond any games we've ever talked about. I'm feeling a little apprehensive. I start to move my free leg, to keep it from getting tied down, too, but you are there with one last restraint.
I am now spread-eagled on the bed, naked except for the gag.
"Are you having fun?" you ask. I glare at you from the side of just one eye, keeping my head turned. I don't want to get slapped again. It really hurt.
"You are getting the hang of this," you say. "I like it when you're so damned obedient. It's about time, you know, it's about fucking time you shut up. Now listen to this great idea I have. I want to watch another man fuck you really, really hard."
We have not talked about anything close to this. I'm so enraged that I ignore your instructions, and turn to glare directly at you. I want to speak, to remind you that I told you back then that I married you to love only you. I used to like having lots of boyfriends. But when I married you, it was truly, truly forsaking all others.
"Stop looking at me," you say. "Stop it right now." I drop my eyes quickly, but you decide I am too slow in looking away, and slap me hard again. This is so confusing, what you are doing. What did I do that would get you so mad to make you hit me repeatedly?
"Jesus! How hard is it to follow directions?" you ask. "You looked at me, after I told you not to. You just proved that you can't follow simple directions. I'm going to have to mark you." You lean in to bite and suck the front of my neck, my face and my chest until there are many, many hickies. You know I think it's really cool to be marked, but never where it shows. But tonight when you bite really hard on my cheekbone where it will show tomorrow, it really hurts and I can't help but squeal in ever-increasing rage and indignation.
You reach down between my legs and begin stroking my clit the way I like it, with a finger on each side. I am mad at you and try not to respond. But you know me too well, and I can feel myself getting wet from your touch.
This is usually the point when we start to excite each other more and more, and back and forth, with little increments of kisses and nudges and licks and nibbles and pushes and running our hands up the outsides of each others' thighs and our fingers up the insides of thighs and this is when I start whisper-scratching the backs of your legs, which always makes you shiver and throw your head back in goofy ecstasy.
And then you will just close your eyes and take a long slow sniff, smiling to yourself. Early on, when we were giddy in love and lust, I wanted to know everything about you, and you told me you were smiling because you were smelling the best smell in the world. And it was the best smell because pure sweet magic always happened after a room filled with my special scent.
"Ooooh, he's going to like that," you say, sliding just the tips of your fingers across my labia. I bite the bandana, keep my head turned away, feel more dread. The fear seems to increase my arousal. I start to breathe faster in spite of myself. I want you to stroke my clit harder, I want to feel your tongue flicking against it, I will you to enter me with your fingers, I just want some release, some sweet escape from this tension.
But you simply test the bonds at my ankles and wrists, by pulling first my hands and then my feet up off the bed just a little. When I let them drop down limply, you say "Good, no resistance. Keep it like that."
I'm hoping that it's all an act, a game. Maybe you've just read something somewhere and slapping and biting me is something you've dreamed about, but never dared ask for. It hurts, but at the same time, I am desiring you so -- my skin is begging for your touch, my lips for your sweetness. What you say next makes me angry all over again. Followed by an unexpected blush of intense arousal.
"There's this man I might invite over," you say. "He thinks you have a really sexy looking cunt. I showed him some of our pictures. He really wants to fuck you, and I think I want to watch him enter you and then hammer you. It just seems kind of sexy. I don't know if I'm going to blindfold you or not... you can worry about that."
You slowly drag your fingertips up the inside of my leg.