Diary Of A Wife Ch 02

Sonja and Selina heard whispers that, when a girl is considered ready for marriage, a man will seize her, and have sex with her, and then she must serve him for the rest of her life.

"That wasn't the culture," she says.

It wasn't her culture. Young women who refuse to give into an abduction face situations that include:

- no one from either family speaks about the attempt so that neither family is shamed

- the woman returns to her family and lives as though nothing happened

- the woman is rejected by her shamed family and moves, often to one of the two large cities

- the woman is convinced by her family to return to the abductor's family and accept marriage.

The cook helper told of how she was taken back to her kidnapper's home (now her husband), held down in front of his family, raped, and taken to be married the next morning. Stunned, afraid and hurting, she signed the papers, and waited for a moment when she could escape.

"But my father told me that now I had sex with him, nobody else would want me because I was ruined goods, and I had to go back to him and be a good wife," she said. "My mother was very sad but she said it was true. I thought then, I have to do this. I have no choice. I just prayed to God, 'Please help me, please...' I went back. Soon after that I was pregnant, and what could I do? Now so many years have passed and I have six children. Life is hard for a woman."

She is crumpled now, her walk halting, her face creased. She stares past me, to where white wisps of cloud are swirling past the blue sky.

Sonja, companion and friend, and Selina often support each other's projects and activities. Since both girls avoid facing negative situations, difficulties can reach crisis proportions before they are faced. Sonja should have warned Selina it was dangerous flirting with Popi. At 24 years of age, Popi was a man and worldly. He was also angry at the rejection of his proposal by Selina's father. Selina knew all of that, yet she still left her bodyguards behind, thinking herself invisible. Sonja accused Selina of escapism and Selina accused Sonja of taking the fun out of life. Now look at the predicament they find themselves.

Dear Diary,

I have not seen Sonja seen we arrived at this place -- wherever this place is. I always heard rumors Popi's family was wealthy, and owned vast amounts of land and homes all over the world. My father never trusted Popi for some reason. I may never know why, because I may see never see my father or family again. I could be enthusiastic, responsive and adventurous at times. Now I'm just sad, depress and cry all the time. Under pressure, I could be very charming, able to talk my way out of just about any situation -- not this time. All I can look forward to is "descalço e grávidas (barefoot and pregnant)".

My First Day

Dear Diary,

It's been several days since I've been here. I'm not exactly sure how long it's been. I am grateful to Popi for letting me have my diary. I don't know how he got it or any of my other stuff. I don't want to think about what happened before I woke. I'm so anxious and having difficulty sleeping, irritability, can't concentration. I'm always on vigilance for Popi. Since he started what he calls "my sex education" I get so startled when he enters a room. I have trouble falling or staying asleep and I'm so fatigued. Now when Popi touches me I tremble, have headaches, and sweat.

I am Selina Tupou, 18, a student from New Zealand's North Island. I'm unmarried with no children and have a Catholic convent school education. I was bright and happy, looking forward to the future. I was tired of my hair. It's long and wavy, very wavy. I want to cut it, but my father says absolutely NO! That use to be my biggest problem. It's so stupid now.

I trust my own decisions, not relying on others to make the decisions for me. Now I loss all hope of being self-reliant, clinging desperately to Popi and all his decisions. I feel desperate to remain associated with him and willing to do anything it takes to keep protecting myself, no matter how wrong it is. I'm sometimes hysterical when I feel my lack of obedience to Popi ruins my security.

I don't remember much of how I got to this place. One minute I was on the beach talking with Sonja, and then I woke nude in a bed and bed I know not. Popi was there in the room. He said I was asleep for at least a day -- but what day? I have this sense of numbing, detachment, a reduction in awareness and my inability to recall what happened. I'm driven by the fear that I won't be able to handle all the dangers present here. I have this lack of faith in myself and the others here. Whatever situation I'm involved with can be OK if I act correctly. I have to be obsesses with avoiding making mistakes or losing self-control. I feel angry, feeling misunderstood and alone.

Popi soon entered the bathroom wearing only underwear. He knelt down beside the tub, and whispered in my ear.

"You are here because I want you here. Your father didn't think I was good enough to marry you. Now I have slept next to your naked body, and there's nothing he can do to help you. You belong to me now, and will give me many children. No one will come to help you -- ever!"

Wanted to scream, but no sound came. I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. Popi covered my mouth with his, pushing his tongue into my mouth. He said that I better soon learn to respond. The "hook up" (kissing) was prolonged, intense and yes passionate. I'd never been kissed like this. I never even had a boyfriend! I cried as quietly as possible, tears mixing with the sweat running down my face. Popi was known to become easily irritated or have violent outbursts. I didn't want him to hurt me or kill me. Who would know?

Before I realized, Popi had spread my legs open. Very gently, with just the slightest amount of pressure, he stimulates the clitoris. He used his thumb just within the vagina but not moving deep within it. He kept the light pressure until I had this feeling I never experienced before. I tried to move his hand, but he told me stop before he drowned me. He stopped and started again until I had the same reaction. He just whispered "close but not quite." He just kept doing it until I kept my legs open, and stop touching him.

"You're my wife."

I heard the words but I didn't know if they were in my head. "What?"

"You're my wife," Popi repeated. "Don't you remember? The priest on the island married us."

All of a sudden all these of images, sounds, smells and feelings came rushing back. I was kidnapped and drugged. That's the only way all of this could be happening! My head hurt so badly.

Popi was talking, "It's time to consummate the relationship."

Who is he talking to? I can't write anymore. This is very distressing -- remembering being taken.

When I woke naked, Popi would not answer my questions. "Where were my clothes? I remember having on a bikini." Popi had the maid run a bath. When it was done, he told me to go to the bathroom and get in the tub.

"Leave the door open," he said.

I was so upset having to walk pass him. The maid left just him and me. I kept thinking, "This is not me. This is a dream and I'll wake from this nightmare."

I placed a chair right in front of her, so that the edge almost touched her knees. I sat down keeping my legs apart, so that she stood between them. Her head was now above mine, so that I could look directly into her downcast face. I closed my legs closer to each other to hold her between them, she had uncontrollable shudder. I extended my arms, embrace her gently round the waist, and drew her against my penis, at the same time tightening the clutch of my legs, till soon she was somewhat in my hold, my face pressing against her naked breast. I began to stroke and press her hips and butt. I kissed her breasts, stomach, pubic area and inner thighs. I proceeded with both hands to rub her backside and hips and thighs, handling her buttocks.

'Oh! ... oh! ...' Selina moaned in her distress, flushing painfully at this merciless attack. 'Oh! my God!' she moaned as I licked her nipples. Her virgin breasts seemed like two small grapefruit, hard and firm.

I picked up the chair and placed it just behind Selina, sat down on it, and worked myself forward on it until Selina stood between my legs, but this time with her nude back to me. I surrounded her waist again with my arms, drew her to me till her butt pressed against my naked chest. While my left arm held her tightly, my right hand began to roam over the junction of her stomach and legs, pressing curiously over her groin and thighs. Selina's breath was erratically; she quivered and trembled on her legs as she pressed her thighs closely together. She was terribly agitated. I don't think she anticipated what then happened. I forcefully attacked her thighs, forcing a way between them and finally working up so close to her mount of pubic hair that Selina nearly buckled in an misery of anxiety. Eyes dilated with terror, and convulsively heaving bosom, Selina uttered inarticulate cries, half choked by her emotions and panting realizing her cunt was defenseless.

I walked around in front of Selina, as she caught sight of my prick in magnificent erection! I watched her closely. The sight seemed to captivate her in spite of her startled humility; she flashed rapid glances at me through half-closed eyes. She seemed compelled, in spite of herself, to stare at the implement of her approaching violation, as if to calculate its size and her capacity!

"Are you curious to guess whether my prick will fit your cunt?"

Selina cried, "No, no ... my God, no!"

She trembled with embarrassment and panic when her eyes fell on my prick, now stiff and erect!

I stepped up to her, passed my arm round her waist and drew her trembling figure to me, excited at the superb turmoil caused by the touch of our naked bodies against each other. Tears ran down her face like a flood.

"Are you still a virgin?"

Selina blushing painfully then whispered again: "Yes!"

"Complete virgin?" I asked, "a uncontaminated virgin? No boy has entered that convent school and you let his hands explored those lovely body or eyes but mine seen it? Did you girls play any naughty games?"

The flood gate of tear opened as Selina shook her head no. I drew her close to me and lifted her head. I began to kiss her salty tears away.

"My little virgin, I only wanted to know how much you already knew so that I might know what to teach you! Well, your lessons begin!"