I don't really know how long I was at the police station. It seemed like all the questioning took hours. Then there were the usual "procedures" a woman is submitted to after this type of assault. I asked and they told me the man who picked me up was on his way to work and dropped me off around 6:15 a.m. After everything was finished, and they took me home, I walked into my apartment and looked at the clock. It read 5:23 p.m. I looked at my familiar surroundings. It was good to be home.
I heard the bubbling of the aquarium. I had forgotten completely about my fish. I knew they must be hungry so I went to feed them. I didn't realize until then that I was so sore. Every bone, muscle, and hair follicle screamed at me. I fed the fish and headed to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me. One more small amount of protection between him and me. I turned on the water that soon began to steam up the room.
I stood up and watched myself in the mirror as the steam filled it with mist around the edges. Soon there was no more of me except that foggy reflection. I wiped the fog and saw the water bead up on the silvered glass. Like the droplets on the mirror, I started to cry.
The heaves were small at first. I was able to turn off the water and slip the hospital gown and coat off they had given me to replace the coat I had stolen that was now evidence. "The coat," his coat. I was glad to be rid of it.
The tears flowed from my eyes. I couldn't stop them. I was sobbing, my naked body bending forward and downward, my arms around my stomach. I kneeled to the floor and managed to grab the edge of the tub. I was crying uncontrollably at this point. My episode only lasted a few minutes. I knew it would be the first of many. Tomorrow I would need to find a rape counselor and start the long slow task of rebuilding what little self-esteem I had left. I would be praying to be able to overcome these feelings of hopelessness and fear.
I stood back up and slowly, lightly stepped into the too hot water. My skin started to turn pink up my legs to the water's edge. My legs were hot and stinging. I remember how my buttocks stung as he slapped them. The memories remained vivid in my mind. I pushed them out. I was free again and he couldn't hurt me anymore. I lowered myself into the water almost inch by inch. I wanted the hot cleansing feeling to completely encompass me. I needed to feel the dirt and grime from his lust leave me. Leave me and never come back. I slid further into the tub until only my nose and mouth were sticking out of the clear water. I shut my eyes and half floated hearing only the sounds of the water lapping at the sides of the tub.
I opened my eyes and saw that the door was cracked open. Panic filled my every sense. I slowly sat up, trying not to make any noise in the water. I saw a tail. My cat, Stoney, had nudged the door open. The faulty latch. I totally forgot about him and that faulty latch. He crouched there and saw me. He stood up and with his all too familiar curiosity popped his head up to the edge of the tub. He saw the water and off he went. I called after him, "Stoney, it's okay, mommies home." But he bolted that quirky cat bolt nonetheless. Whatever, I will tend to him after my bath.
I reached to the side of the tub to the basket I kept the washcloths in and grabbed the first one available. The opaque glycerin soap I knew so well was waiting for me. I scrubbed myself clean. I washed my lifeless hair and put conditioner on it. I was beginning to feel a little like me again. I got out of the tub and dried off with the usual towel from the towel rack. I grabbed the robe that always hung on the back of the bathroom door. I wrapped its terrycloth thickness around my body. My body was warm and pink. I don't know if it was pink from the hot water, or the scrubbing it had just received to remove any trace of him, but I didn't care. I felt comfortable and safe in my apartment. I was home.
I grabbed my hairbrush and started on my quest to find Stoney. He needed attention and I needed his comforting, even if he was a cat. I fed him and watched him eat. When he finished, he came to me on the couch so I could pet him. He curled up beside me and started to purr as I stroked his fluffy stomach and soft head. We sat there a while and I remembered the Detectives tell me they would be in touch to check on me tomorrow. I got up and checked the locks on the door. Stoney followed me around the room through my apartment and to my bedroom. I wondered if I would be able to sleep that night. I put on my nightgown and laid down. I pulled the covers up around my neck and held them tightly. To my surprise, I did go to sleep. My body was more exhausted than my mind so it won. Wonderful sleep. Wonderful dreamless sleep.
I awoke to the pounding on the door to my apartment. It startled me, but I quickly recognized my surroundings and realized I was safe again so I got up, grabbed my robe, and went to answer the door. It was the Detectives, my detectives, my new saviors and protectors. I asked them in and they entered my apartment. They went to the couch and sat down. I offered them coffee, and when they accepted; I went to start a pot.
Their names were Detectives Sampson and Bailey. They started to tell me, of course, that there really wasn't much to go on. I really didn't get a good look at the man and couldn't even tell them his height. I was blindfolded the majority of the time and there were many "cabins" near the place that I was picked up. Since I didn't see the inside really, just the bathroom, and even that not very well, it would probably be difficult for me to identify the right cabin. Many of them were built in the same fashion so they resembled each other. Plus, I really didn't know which direction I had run in or how long it took me to get to the road. Things didn't look good in any direction. I admitted to them that I already realized this. They were completely correct. I was so scared the entire time that most of it was a blur anyway.
They were polite, sipping their steaming coffee without complaint. They told me if there was any more news, they would get in touch with me. They asked if there was anything they could do before they left. I told them no. They stood and headed for the door. I followed and let them out, locking it securely behind them. I knew I had little hope of them every catching this horrible man.
I realized I needed to call work. The man had abducted me on a Saturday. That meant today was Monday, I think. I needed to call in and make sure they understood my situation. I wasn't coming in the rest of the week. The phone call was short and sweet. I could tell they wanted to know all about the ordeal, but didn't pressure for the specifics. I cut them off and hung up the phone.
I turned on the TV to watch some shows. I knew if I didn't have something to occupy my mind I would start to dwell on the situation. I didn't feel like doing any work, not even to wash the two coffee cups that now sat on the counter. The television would be my closest friend over the next couple of days. I sat down and thought about looking in the phone book for a counselor, but decided it could wait. I didn't have the mental strength to go through talking about it just yet. I flipped through channels until I found something that caught my attention. A fresh cup of coffee for me, and I let the movie take me away.
I awoke again to a knock on the door. I went over and asked who it was. The voice said it was a delivery from a florist. He had a special delivery for me from a school.
"How sweet," I thought to myself. "They sent me flowers." The bouquet was big. Big enough to hide the person holding it. I told the man to step in while I grabbed my purse for a tip.
"Just set them on the table there," I said as I turned away. I heard him set the flowers down on the table next to the couch. I didn't hear him shut the door behind him and lock it, or follow me as I was getting my purse. His arms were around my throat so fast that I was almost knocked down as he pulled me towards his body. He grabbed my arms and twisted them behind me, holding them with one of his huge hands. I briefly saw the clock and it read 4:27. I realized it would be dark soon and he had found me. He put the blindfold back on my eyes with his free hand. He pushed me to the bedroom. He had found me.
He said, "I wasn't finished with you bitch."
"Keep your fucking mouth shut. You know what I can, AND WILL, do to you."