Dark Fantasies And Submission To Psychologist Ch 01

With some reluctance I approached the office of Dr. Ana Ferguson. A noted PHD sex specialist, her small but very active practice has been built upon helping men and women deal with personal sexual issues. In her early 40's she is attractive and very energetic. As a mother with two boys and a husband who is a hockey enthusiast, she seldom has little time for herself. Only recently did an unexpected meeting with a neighbor provide her with some relief.

My visit began with the usual completion of numerous questionnaires and completing insurance forms. Then I finally met with Dr. Ferguson. Her pleasant greeting and warm smile soon put me at ease. She invited me to sit in a comfortable chair while she sat at her desk with a pad of paper ready to take notes.

"Mr. Kendall how may I help you? By the way do you mind if I call you Jim?"

I replied, "No, please call me Jim. This will seem more friendly for me."

She replied, "Please call me Ana. I agree this will help us communicate more easily. Where would you like to start?"

After a pause I responded, "I am having problems determining just who I am as a person."

"Can you give a bit more detail about your problem? Perhaps we should start at the beginning. When did you first experience this problem?"

After another minute of silence I replied, "It is very personal and embarrassing."

Ana replied, "I understand these things and besides whatever you share with me can not be shared by me with anyone else. Client doctor privilege protects you. For me to help you I need to understand what creates this problem for you."

I slowly start to tell my story. "About 15 years ago I was in my final year at the university. I had a girlfriend, good grades, and a great job offer. All was going great until I had to take a pre-employment physical. "

Ana replied, "Great work with those accomplishments, what started the problem?"

"It started with that physical. It was going pretty much as expected. I was wearing only my boxers when the doctor asked his nurse to leave the room. He then told me to pull my boxers down so he could check for hernias. He grabbed my balls and told me to cough. I hesitated by followed his instructions. That was the first time a man had touched me there. It caused a tingling and my cock began to become erect. I tried to hide it but my cock refused to obey."

Ana said, "Don't be embarrassed, that it's natural reaction."

"It is what happened next that really created confusion for me. My underwear was around my knees. The doctor ordered me to take them off, turn around and face the examining table, bend over and spread my legs. I was going to receive a prostate exam. I heard the rubber glove snap on his hand. Withn a minute I felt a some gel on my rectum, then he said, 'this will not hurt so relax'. With that his figure went into my ass. I became aroused and could barely control my fully erect cock. It was then that his hand started rubbing my cock. It was the most erotic and exciting feeling I had ever experienced. Within a minute or so as I moaned, I released what seemed like an ocean of white sperm."

"That must have been a big surprise."

I replied, "It was. I was exhausted and just laid on the exam table for a few minutes. The doctor told me once I felt like getting dressed I could. What just happened would remain a secret between us. It was just an opportunity for me to release some excess tension."

After getting dressed I headed to my apartment. Unfortunately, my girlfriend was on a research project for her masters degree and was out of town. I say that because the doctor not only awakened a sexual urge but changed me. I got home and had to masturbate several times just to control my sexual fantasies and desires.

Ana replied, "That doesn't surprise me. Men especially if they have their prostate stimulated in any manner will often experience heighted arousals for a short period of time. Perhaps a day or two What did you experience?"

"Doctor, all I could think about was that moment when the doctor stuck his figure up my ass and stroked me off. It was the most erotic experience I have ever had. I just wouldn't get out of my head. I started to do things I had never done before. Masturbating two or three times a day became routine. Sexual fantasies filled my mind to the point I almost did not complete my final work for graduation."

Ana said, "Tell me about those fantasies."

I didn't want to share them but after she insisted that it would help I continued, "They all involved me being ordered to take off my clothes and submit to a person. At first it was the doctor image but later in the week it became older women who forced me to masturbate for then. Each time I would do as I was ordered. Each time my masturbation became stronger. I was losing control of myself."

Ana replied, "Part of this is explainable. When the doctor ordered you to remove your underwear you became in effect his submissive. He then took control of you from a sexual perspective and provided unexpected pleasure which you really liked. When he told you that what had happened in his office was between both of you, he cemented in your mind a sense of submissiveness that became embedded in your sexual fantasies."

I replied, "I wish it were that simple."

Ana smiled, "Tell me more."

"With my girlfriend out of town, I decided to go to a movie. Not a regular movie but one at an adult theater featuring X rated shows. I had never done that before. The theater was an old, musty place. That seemed to add to the excitement. The movie was about women in prison. It contained a lot of nude women. I sat in the very last row hoping no one would see me. Then out of the dark a voice asked me how I was enjoying the movie. I tried to ignore the person but the male voice seemed almost hypnotic. After a while he sat next to me. Then he reached over and unbuckled my belt. Then he simply said, 'Pull your pants and underwear down.'. I obeyed and sat there with an erect cock. At that point in the movie one of the women was being raped by a guard on the warden's order. That heighten my sexual arousal. That is when the man started stroking my cock. It was like being back in the doctor's office. At that point he told me to masturbate for him. I obeyed and within a few seconds another explosion poured from my cock. I was shocked and embarrassed that a stranger could have such control by simply ordering me to pull down my pants."

"After a minute or so recovering, the stranger gave me a handkerchief and told me to clean myself. Then I should join him for a trip to his home where he could demonstrate 'new sexual' activities. He gave me 10 minutes to come out or he was gone."

Ana asked, "What did you do Jim?"

I replied, "I was afraid of what might happen. After cleaning myself I moved to a different row wondering if the stranger would return. He didn't. I waited until the movie was over and the lights were turned on before leaving through a rear exit. When I got home, I swore that I would never do anything like that again."

Ana said, "Out time is up for today but I want to hear more can you come back tomorrow at the same time. I think you have given me much to think about.?"

I said, "Yes, I can. This is haunting me. I look forward to your comments."

Ana said, "I will see you tomorrow. I will want to hear more about your situation but you have shared a some very important information."

After I left Dr. Ferguson's office other thoughts and fantasies started to flood my mind. They kept urging me to submit to my desires.

Once home I had my wife and children to focus upon. As in the past the fantasies faded to the background but never fully left me. The memory of recent encounters further added to my uneasiness but also sexual excitement. I wanted that appointment with Dr. Ferguson to start now. The thoughts of what had transpired only a few days ago created a sense of shame and guilt but also an uncontrollable desire for more. I even questioned my sexuality. Was I straight, gay, bisexual or what? These feelings could not be natural---or could they?

The next afternoon I almost running into Dr. Ferguson's office, I was 10 minutes early for our appointment. Time seemed to pass extremely slow while I sat in the waiting room. Finally, her door opened.

"Welcome Jim. Please come in and get comfortable. Let's start where you left off yesterday. What happened after the night at the adult theater?"

After a sip of water I started, "After that night life changed again. My girlfriend broke up with me. She wanted to find a more intellectual partner. That was a blow to both my ego and sex life. I started my new job which provided a new focus. My fantasies continued but the challenges of learning my new job and the extra travel it provided, kept me focused. On a flight to Atlanta, I met a flight attendant named Kim. We developed a friendship which led to us getting married about 2 years later. She kept my attention focused on her."

Ana asked, "What about your fantasies? Did they go away?"

"No, unfortunately. They were always present but I controlled them for the most part."

She asked, "All the time?"

I replied, "No, sometimes while on a business trip I would go to an adult bookstore and pick up some pornography to read in my hotel room."

Ana looked suspicious, "Given the nature of your fantasies, did anything else ever occur?"

After a long moment of silence I answered, "Yes"

Ana pressed me. "Tell me about it.'

I replied, "I was in Baltimore a few weeks before my marriage to Kim. I hadn't done anything for months not even going to a bookstore. While having a drink at the hotel bar an older gentleman came into the room and sat at the other end of the bar. We started talking and during that time he explained a new computer program his company had developed. It sounded very interesting. At some point he invited me to his room to see a demo."

Ana said, "Continue."

"Clearly a salesman's room, there were several computers and sales materials scattered all around.. He opened one computer and it was already playing gay pornography. He apologized and said the other computer had the program. While he started the other laptop, I watch the porn and became increasingly excited. When I turned around he stood behind me naked."

"He asked, 'when was the last time you tasted a real man? With the porn still playing he started to unbutton my shirt and within a second or two I was naked to the waist. I resisted by then fantasies of me submitting to a male took over. Pushing me to my knees his cock pressed against my lips. 'Take it and taste my cum'. With that his large cock went into my mouth and I started sucking. I had never done that but I soon learned. It took several minutes but suddenly an explosion of hot cum filled my mouth. I choked and coughed and spit it out."

"At that point he told me to stand up and take the rest of my clothes off. At first, I refuse but his commanding tone made it clear I should get them off. Just like the doctor's exam he ran his hands over my body. My cock was hard and he knew it belonged to him. He masturbated me. Again, like every other time someone touched the explosive of cum made a mess."

"After a few minutes he said, "You are very good. I need to fuck that ass of yours but I don't have the time nor energy tonight. I have an early flight tomorrow. So, I will have to do that another time. Pulling my wallet from my pants on the floor, he copied my name and address. Next time I am in your city, we can get together and I will finish the job. Now get your clothes and get out of here."

Ana said, "That had to be very traumatic."

I replied, "Yes, it was. I felt ashamed and guilty that it happened. The next day the thoughts of that night replayed over and over in my head. They became part of my fantasies."

Ana said, "Jim it is clear that you have become conditioned that when an older man or one in authority tells you to do something sexual you obey. This most likely dates back to that physical examination that stimulated you sexually to the point it defined your sense of sexual pleasure. I need to think about this more. Tell me if that man ever contact you?"

I replied, "No, the fear existed he would but that never happened. After a few years and moving into our home, I almost forgot that might happen. The dark excitement I experienced continues even today as I share the incident with you."

Ana asked, "Has anything happened since Baltimore?"

I answered, "For over the past 10 years were no other incidents. The fantasies have continued but I have been able to keep them under control. Once in a while I will look at some porn but it doesn't go beyond that. That changed about a month ago."

"Jim, what happened a month ago?"

"Two months ago, I started a new job with a new company. The situation is ideal from a pay, benefits, and work activity process. My immediate boss is terrific. She knows her business and establishes very clear objectives for our department. Her boss, the company CEO, invited her team and our spouses to a special dinner marking the achievement of a new product launch. This was held at the Belaire country club which is very exclusive. Drinks at 6:00 PM with dinner at 7:00. My wife and I were enjoying the evening when the CEO arrived. Everyone just calls him William. His arrival created a stir of activity as people rushed to greet him. When it was my turn to introduce my wife and myself, I was shocked."

Sensing the emotional moment Ana said, "Jim, please continue what was so special about William?"

After a minute to compose myself, "He is he guy I met in the Baltimore bar over 10 years ago. I didn't know what to say. He simply shook my hand and welcomed me to the company. Nothing else was said."

"So, he didn't remember you?"

"Ana, that is what I hoped happened. There was no indication we had ever met. My boss told me what a great guy William and his forward-looking perspectives has had a very positive impact on the company. He works very hard and takes very good care of all the employees. You are lucky to be with the company at this moment. I spent the rest of the evening trying to stay as far away from William as possible. He didn't seem to notice I was at the event once we had the formal introduction. Kim was totally impressed with him. I only hoped he would never want to see me."

Ana asked, "What happened after the party?"

"Nothing for a few days. Life at our house seemed normal. Kim could not help but keep talking about the handsome, dynamic leader of the company. Work went well and I hoped William had completely forgotten me. A week after the party on a Tuesday afternoon, my boss, Karin, told me that I had been assigned to a special project for the company. That I should report to our annex building three blocks from my office the next day by 9:00 AM. The exact nature of this assignment would be explained then but it should be a very good career move. I didn't ask and additional questions."

"The next morning, I reported to the annex ready to go to work. Unfortunately, my new assignment would change my life again."

With a quizzical look on her face Ana asked me to explain.

"The annex was not currently being used for production. There were several conference rooms on the first floor and offices on the second. I entered the building and looked to meet someone. A voice from the second floor indicated I should go the second office. I entered that room and it was strange in that it had what appeared to be an examination table, chairs, video equipment and several computers. The voice said take a seat and I will be with you in a minute. There's a video that you will want to watch."

"As the video started it took a minute but I remember the room in the Baltimore hotel. Then I watched as I was told to suck this stranger's cock and then watch him have me strip off my clothes as he masturbated me. Naked and obeying this guy's commands made me look weak and submissive. How did he get those pictures?"

"The man entered the room. It was William the company CEO. You remember me? I certainly remember you and the night in Baltimore. I want to continue our relationship."

I started to object. "You work for me and I have secrets about you that you probably don't want your wife, kids, and friends to know. You are submissive faggot and now your secret belongs to me. I know you like to respond to dominant men. I did some background work on you as part of our hiring process. You are a smart guy and understand opportunities and consequences. I am assigning you one day a week to be in this office and do whatever I tell you to do. You can agree and I will not only keep you employed but also provide a boost to your income. Your night in Baltimore and this video will forever be between you and me. Failure will have consequences you probably won't like. The choice will be yours. I am going to my office to get a cup of coffee. When I return you should be sitting naked on that examination table. If you leave or fail to accept your promotion, I will initiate termination papers."

"Ana, with that William left the room and was gone for 5 or 10 minutes. Shocked and afraid I decided to obey his order. When he returned I was sitting naked on the table. As with my fantasies, sexual excitement and guilt ran through my mind. The sexual excitement was greater than the guilt at that point. "

William smiled, "A wise decision that you won't regret and that will undoubtedly provide you with many benefits. First, I want to examine you from head to toe. I also want you to watch several movies. Now standup and let me examine you."

"Ana it was one of the most embarrassing, exciting exams I have ever received. He spent time looking at my breasts which interested him. The rest of my body was thoroughly checked. Then it was time for the anal exam. Just like the doctor's exam that started my fantasies, William insisted that I turn around and face the table. After bending over I felt the gel on my anus. My cock got erect in anticipation. His bare figure penetrated my rectum in a way that seemed far more erotic than my first prostate exam. William worked my ass and then slipped in a second finger. I started to moan and cry with erotic passion overcoming me. Then a spontaneous explosion of the white liquid spilled out of me. I had no control. Withdrawing his fingers William seemed please."

"Jim, that was more than expected. That is the first spontaneous ejaculation I have ever seen. There is one thing you must do. You must shave all your body hair. All I want to see is a naked cock, balls, and legs. That needs to be done before you leave today. There is a shower and all the equipment you will need to accomplish this. This will make you a true submissive because you are doing what I want."

He continued, "There are several movies you must watch today. Once you finish watching them and shave report to me. I will have your clothes in my office."

With that William turned on the videos and I sat naked watching them for the next 4 hours.

Ana asked, "How did that make you feel?"

I replied, "It felt like I was living my fantasies. There was a sense of guilt but the sexual excitement was much greater. "

She asked, "What were the movies about?"

I replied. "One was a totally gay film with guys being seduced and made into gay sex objects. I found it erotic but not overpowering. The second video was filled with men dressing in women's clothes and shemales. That was more interesting. The final movie was strictly about lesbians and seducing straight women. That one was perhaps the most realistic."

Ana asked, "Which video was your favorite and why?"

"That's hard to say. I got an erection watching each movie. When anal intercourse was part of the story, I found that the most exciting and in fact had to masturbate during the last movie."