Professor Wheatfield is an ass. He took my virginity. I hate him for that. I was raised Baptist and was saving myself for my husband. I wanted that first special moment to be in bed on my wedding night when a strong man would press himself into me and take me fully as his wife. Ok, Wheatfield didn't actually take me himself, but he made me put an 8-inch dildo in me. I felt so filled. I hate to say this, but I liked the feel of the big dildo pushing on my clit and stretching me. I hate him for the fact that I was bleeding from my virginity being torn while I was coming from the dildo. My idea of the first time wasn't to be making love to a plastic tube while some geek sat behind a desk and watched.
Mousy Girl was so good to me afterwards-well at least she made me talk and think when I was feeling pretty rotten.
I left Wheatfield's office in a daze. I did not know what to think. I was sore and tingling with pleasure at the same time. I went to my dorm room and laid down. I don't know how long I laid there. I heard a knock on the door. It was Mousy Girl. I lived in a single in the dorm and not many folks knocked to say hi. It was better that way. I think it bothered them that my daddy paid for a single room. I liked the privacy. I could hide from strangers and keep my stuff to myself. I own really good stuff.
"What???" I shouted at the door. I was crying my eyes out and wanted to be alone. I was naked under the sheet on my bed. I wanted to shower but I hated the open shower room at Hemmings. It was like a box with six nozzles. Everyone could see your business. I was too dirty to shower in public. I wanted to buy a motel room for the night so I could take a private shower. I wanted to soak in a deep hot bath. I didn't want the other girls to see me scrub, down there, to wash away the dried sex juice and blood. I wanted to scrub it all away. I hated for girls to see me wash down there because it always looks like you are touching yourself in a naughty way.
"Hey lover its me," Mousy Girl said...she was always too perky. Poor white trash. My daddy warned me about that type. Always reaching into your pocket to help themselves. Don't get too friendly with them he cautioned. They are always playing an angle.
"What?" I shouted again through the door.
"I want to come in," Mousy Girl replied. "Let me in."
Why was she here just now? I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt so dirty. I came twice in Wheatfield's office. I got very excited by him making me diddle myself. I got a rush thinking that a man wanted me to get naked for him and put on a show. I hate him for that. I was exposed, my legs spread, touching myself. He even made me give him a taste of my sex juice. He sucked on my fingers. I just gave him my fingers to suck. I loathe him because I tingled when he sucked my fingers. His tongue shot shivers through my body. I shouldn't have felt that. I wanted to vomit. But I got a rush the moment I spread my lips and exposed myself to him. I liked exposing myself to him. No I didn't like exposing myself. But I got so wet doing it.
"Let me in!" Mousy Girl shouted again.
I got out of bed, tossed on a thick terry robe and let her in. Sometimes you can't fight it. What the fuck could be so important to her now?
"What?" I asked. "What do you want?" I had a go-away tone in my voice.
I was pissy. I just lost my virginity to a piece of plastic and came twice in the process while this little professor man watched. What could be worse?
"Hey love," Mousy Girl always called me love, "I hear you just blew Wheatfield. Everyone knows about his closed-door moments with young hotties. You gave him over an hour behind the closed office door."
I hated her.
I did not blow him. Like what did the campus think about me? Oh God, was I the new Wheatfield whore? Was I the blow-me cum slut bimbo of the first year class? Why didn't some administrator shut down this campus lothario?
"Hey love, you blew him didn't you? Did you do more? You had over an hour..." She asked again.
"Uh no," I said quite curtly. How could everyone on grounds know? At this very moment I was out of Wheatfield's office and back at the dorm for what, maybe an hour? I was sure no one saw me come or go from his office. And it's not like he would tell anyone that he had a naked first year in his office fucking herself with a dildo-or maybe he would tell.
"What the fuck?" Mousy Girl asked in shock. "You spent an hour with his door closed and you didn't blow him? What did you do? He seemed after your butt or something in class today. He made you write that essay about your peach. Come clean?"
How could I tell her? She was like white trash shit. I could not tell her that a piece of plastic had torn my hymen while I was sitting in a professor's office in of all buildings Cocke Hall. I was not close with Mousy Girl. She is not the girl I would choose to share my secrets.
"He raped me." It just came out. I couldn't stop the words.
"He what?" she asked more than a bit incredulous. "He's too shy. You've seen him in class." Her tone switched to downright apologetic, "He's sarcastic but I bet he's all talk no action. I bet he didn't even drop his pants. What really happened girlfriend?"
Why was she defending him? She should be comforting me. Total bitch.
I stared at her. I finally broke. I had to tell someone the details even if it was Mousy Girl. I had to defend myself. I hadn't blown him. I had to get my side of the story out.
