"That's it?" I asked, relieved.
"That's it," replied the doctor. "Your splints are off, and your nose is healing nicely. However, your jaw isn't quite healed. Why don't we take another look in a couple of weeks?"
I sighed with disappointment. I was beyond ready to be able to talk and eat normally again.
"Come on, Baby. Let's get you home." Tamara took my hand and helped me to the car.
*****
"If you're not working, how can we afford to live here or pay Sonya?" I wrote, the question occurring to me for the first time. I was suddenly worried Tamara could be going into debt to care for me.
"Well, right now you're technically paying for everything," Tamara clarified awkwardly, but quickly continued. "We're going to be getting an insurance settlement soon that will more than cover everything."
"I'm... paying?" I wrote with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
"The power of attorney you signed allows me to pay Sonya, and myself, for caring for you."
"You get paid too?" I asked, incredulous.
"I wouldn't be able to work and help take care of you, so I have to have some way of paying my own expenses. As long as you need help, it only makes sense that the money has to come from somewhere. But like I said, we're getting a settlement that will make up for everything. There's no need to worry."
I was a surprised she hadn't told me any of this, but it did make sense.
"It's exciting that you're finally healing," Tamara smiled, stroking my hair as she changed the subject.
"I guess," I replied half-heartedly, still disappointed that I hadn't healed more.
"It won't be too much longer until your jaw is healed," Tamara reminded me. "And once it is, you'll feel a lot better about yourself. You'll be able to eat, talk, and perhaps we'll even be able to discuss how we get our relationship back to where it was."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I could tell she had something specific in mind, but I was hesitant make assumptions.
"You know, it's just hard to even kiss you," she explained, biting her finger suggestively.
I sighed with relief. I had been worried she had more in mind.
"And it's impossible for you to go down on me properly," she laughed, shattering my momentary relief.
I stared wide-eyed, unsure how to respond. Was she expecting me to go down on her once my jaw wires were off?
"Just kidding, again?" I wrote hopefully.
"...Mostly kidding," she responded coyly. "But you did really used to enjoy it."
Wait. What? I enjoyed going down on her? That was impossible.
"I went down on you? I'm sure I would remember that," I wrote, unsure who I was trying to convince.
"You used to beg to lick me," Tamara winked. "Every night, in fact, until I'd eventually give in and let you. Of course, you didn't have to beg too much," she laughed.
I had always planned to wait until I was married to be that intimate with anyone. I may have moved in to help Tamara financially, but there's no way I would have had sex with her. It was too difficult to express my confusion and mixed feelings succinctly with my writing pad, so I just stared with a dumbstruck look.
While it was true that I'd always thought I would wait until I was married before having sex, but it wasn't so long ago that I'd offered to give oral to Michael. It did seem strange to me that I would have offered, but my memory was a little fuzzy on the details. I suppose I panicked in the moment because I was afraid of losing him. However, in retrospect, I was glad I hadn't gone through with it. However, despite the gaps in my memory, I couldn't imagine any sane reason I could have been convinced to have sex with Tamara. Granted, oral sex wasn't quite the same as intercourse--but, for whatever the reason, the distinction between the two seemed fuzzier with Tamara.
She paused for a moment, deep in thought, before a huge grin broke out on her face. "Hey, you can't blame a girl for trying."
"I knew it!" I scrawled, relieved. "Nice try."
"Seriously though, now that your nose is healed, there is something we can do that you used to enjoy."
"What?" I wrote warily.
"I'll tell you tonight, but you have to promise to keep an open mind."
"I promise," I wrote, still unable to shake my general feeling of unease.
*****
Sonya rubbed lotion over my leg. She was very attentive and did her best to make sure I was well cared for. She massaged the lotion into my calf, working her way up my leg as she worked a knot out of my thigh.
I sighed with pleasure as her hands expertly made their way up to my shoulders.
"I wish I'd known earlier you did massages," I scribbled lazily on my notepad. It was nice to be able to relax. I hadn't been able to de-stress this fully since waking up confused in the hospital.
"Mystery helps keep the magic alive," she grinned. "It would feel even better if I could give you a proper massage. This is more of a half-body massage," she laughed.
"Sonya, can I ask you something?" I wrote uneasily after a few moments of awkward silence. I was unsure the right way to ask my question or even what I was trying to ask.
"Sure, what's up?" She looked at me intently, noticing the change in my demeanor.
"I think Tamara wants a more sexual relationship from me."
