I was worried that the protests today were going to be worse than in previous years. Environmentalist freaks had invented Earth day several years ago, and their venom had seemed to get worse with each passing year. The tree-hugging bunny-fucking enviro-freaks seemed to come out of the woodwork in greater numbers with each passing year. Maybe it was something in the water. I sure would like to know how it is that otherwise intelligent people could fall for the blatant lies and get their collective panties in such a knot over such ridiculous rhetoric.
I am a logger. Yes, one of those evil people who rape the environment for nothing but personal gain, with no regard to what I am doing to precious Mother Earth. Ok, I almost gagged writing that sentence. Guess what, trees grow back! Not only that, there are more trees in the United States now than there were a hundred years ago. This is a fact straight from the United States Forest Service, but I digress.
For the last few years, one of the favorite things for the enviro-freaks to do was to come out to the work sites and chain themselves to the equipment so we could not work. That was easy enough to deal with; we got a cutting torch, removed the chains, and went to work. One of the first ways they protested was to drive spikes into the logs, so the saws in the mills would be damaged when the logs were cut into lumber. I suppose it's just too bad that quite a few people who worked in the mills were killed when the spikes turned into deadly projectiles. The fucking idiots that drove the spikes rejoiced in the streets when a death was announced. They should be lined up and shot.
This year, I heard that their plan of action would be to chain themselves to the logs that have already been cut so we can't skid them to the road and load the trucks. The cutting torch would work just fine again, I thought.
Around here, the leader of the morons is a woman named Courtney. She is your typical granola eating, flip-flop wearing, dope smoking sixties throwback. The thing is, she is in her early twenties. How and why she moved so quickly to the top of the movement, I've never been able to figure out. The fact that she is gorgeous probably has something to do with it. I know she enjoys living in her house, despite it being made of wood. Since she is relatively odor free, I imagine she wipes her ass with toilet paper, another wood product. I won't even get into all the paper she uses to mail her babbling diatribes to the uninformed masses who worship her, yes, another wood product. Hypocrisy is the name of the game.
The morning of earth day dawned warm and clear, a good day to work. We drove to the worksite, careful to watch the road for tire spikes. After cautiously checking out the machinery, we were ready to go to work. The freaks that protest what we do, do not have a problem destroying another's property in the pursuit of their goal, causing us untold sums in repairs and lost production.
During the inspection of the worksite, we found Courtney. She had secured herself to a log about two hundred feet off the road, right where we needed to work that day. After some discussion, the crew that day decided they were sick of dealing with her shit; they wanted to leave her there for the day. I was of the same mindset, if she wanted to bake in the sun all day long and give us a day off, it was fine by me.
The crew climbed back into their trucks and headed for home while I worked my way up the slope to Courtney. When I got to where she was, I gazed down at her laying there bound to the log, suddenly having other thoughts. She was an attractive young lady, with long brunette hair and a slim, athletic figure. She was wearing a small halter-top, very short tight shorts, and had bare feet.
"What are you doing here?" I asked when she noticed me standing there.
"Stopping you from raping the forest," She replied, "Where is the crew going?"
"They are taking the day off, because of you we are going to lose a lot of money." I said angrily.
"I'm going to get away with stopping your work?" she asked, surprised.
"For now, but I have other work for you." I said, grinning evilly as I walked closer to her.
I suddenly reached down, grasped the front of her halter-top and ripped it from her body, exposing her firm, medium sized breasts to my eyes.