Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse people began noticing like they never had before. While this disgusting man kissed me, touched my little breasts, and stroked my flower, people would say things like 'Look at that little slut.' I thought to myself that it wasn't what they thought. Then I realized it was exactly what they thought. I was exactly what they thought I was. I wept bitterly while the fat old man molested me. Then I heard a voice. 'Look, that old timer is rubbing her pussy through her underwear!' It was one of the guys from my college. He was one of the men among many who snapped pictures on his cell phone of me being groped. I'm sure they're all over the internet by now.
The old man has taken so many things from me. My first tongue kiss, the first man to see my bra and panties, the first man to touch my flower...Diary I'm scared! I don't know how much further he will take this! But when I got to the college, my crotch was so wet!
Dear Diary,
Today was a day full of more touching and more pictures. For a while, I thought that was as far as it would go. Then he reached into my little B cup bra. 'Sir!' I exclaimed. He began to tease my tiny nipples. He rolled them in his fingers, pinched them, pulled them. Diary, I couldn't fight the arousal! I started moaning! I felt so dirty, so cheap, so used. Then, with his other hand, he slipped into my panties and began stimulating my little clitty. All while people took pictures and videos of me moaning.
There was a heat inside me. It built and it built. Something was coming, Diary. Something was about to happen. Then we arrived at my college. He released me and buttoned up my blouse. I panted and begged him to finish what he started. He told me that he wasn't going to finish that, and that was forbidden to finish it as well. I whimpered softly. Why did this man control me the way he did? Why was he allowed to touch my special place, my private place, when I wasn't? Am I still my own person? Am I still my own woman?
Dear Diary,
Today the fat old man stimulated my little B cup breasts, my nipples, and my little clitty until I was about to explode. He brought me up to that feeling three times on the ride home. I started crying after the third and begged him to finish it, but he only said that he would not and again forbid me from finishing myself.
When I got home I...I touched myself. I wanted to finish it, but I also didn't want to disobey him. For some reason. He also told me that from now on I was forbidden from wearing bras on the train. I asked him how I would keep men from seeing my breasts on the train. He told me that men would see my breasts. They would see my cute little nipples. They would take pictures and videos of them. Then they would go home and touch their penises thinking about my adorable little...well...he called them 'titties.' It's so embarrassing using that word.
My head swims and I get in a fog thinking about all those strangers seeing me so intimately, so naked. I don't know what's wrong with me! What would my mom think? My dad? My pastor? But the next morning I put my bra in my bag and didn't wear it on the train. The old man was right about men looking at my little titties. They also said the most hurtful things about them. About me. I hated it, but they were right to say them. I'm beginning to see that I'm just a cheap piece of meat. The old man has begun sucking on my titties while he plays with my tits. Oh diary...it feels so wonderful, but so shameful. He buries his face in my titties. I never envisioned as I grew up that the first man who enjoy them would be a man in his sixties.
I've started bringing a few spare pairs of panties in my bag beside my bra. My panties get so wet I have to change them before school starts. Boys have started slapping my bottom in the hallway. I don't say anything. I know it's my fault for being so dirty on the train. Also, one day a pair of my wet panties wound up on the school bulletin board along with a bunch of embarrassing pictures of me. I took the panties and pictures down, but I think it's safe to say that every one as school knows how dirty I am. How terrible of a person I am. Oh Diary, I used to be such a good girl.